“I told you he’d love you once you gave him the chance and didn’t run away from it.” Carter slipped his hand around Reed’s neck, forcing him to look straight into his eyes. “I don’t care if you have anxiety or ADHD or any other initial in the alphabet. I’m not going anywhere. Understand?”
Reed’s smile dimmed. “Your concentration needs to be solely on Jacks and his recovery. Not me.”
“And it has been for three years. But he’s grown so much this past year, perhaps he’s ready to take a new step and allow other people into his life.” Carter brushed their lips together. “Like I did. You know I never intended to fall in love with you, but,”—he shrugged—“I guess it’s true when they say you can’t control your heart forever. I’d stuffed it away for so long that I thought I had it all under control.”
“You were tough,” said Reed, humor making his eyes shine with golden light. “But I saw your soft side almost from the first. You couldn’t hide it even if you tried.”
Fascinated by Reed’s insight, Carter smiled and waved at Jacks who sat at a table with the rest of the kids. Six months ago, a night like this would have been impossible.
“And here I thought I was such a tough bastard.” Not really, though. At least not with Reed. “Let’s sit where we can talk and watch Jacks.”
They walked to the space set up for the parents, but Carter made no move to join any of them. Reed pulled out a chair at a table for two, and Carter joined him. A bottle of wine and two glasses sat in the center next to a glass jar filled with spring flowers. Reed poured them each a glass of red wine.
Cradling the glass between his palms, Reed stared into its smooth ruby depths. “Youwerea complete bastard at times, but then you’d do something sweet and thoughtful. I didn’t know what to make of you.”
“I had no idea either.” Carter sipped the wine, savoring the sweet, rich taste bursting in his mouth. “I had no experience dating or being in a relationship. I only knew I couldn’t see you be with anyone but me.”
Reed set his wineglass down untouched. “And I never intended to fall in love either. My relationship with Mason ruined me for a while, but I think it actually made me stronger, giving me the impetus to regroup and get to know who I am. I’ve learned to live my joy, not waste time in trying to define it or figure it out.”
“I can tell you who you are. You’re a part of us now, part of Jacks and me—our family. It took almost losing you to finally open my eyes and see that this isolated bubble I’d secluded myself in with Jacks and me on the inside and everyone else on the outside couldn’t work anymore.”
“I’m your family?”
“How can you doubt it? When I had no ability to love myself, you loved me.”
Joy, like the morning, returned fresh and new with hope at its side. It was time he learned to live his own joy, with Reed by his side.
At that moment Jacks ran over, his normally pale cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with a light and life Carter for years had yearned to see and never thought would happen.
“Look what I made.”
He gingerly set a large wet plate down in front of Carter. A painting of a house, depicting their limestone, dominated the center of the plate. On one side were two figures waving goodbye to a smaller figure on the other.
“That’s great, Jacks. I like how you drew Helen, you, and me.”
“That’s not Helen.” He bit his lip and gave Reed a shy smile while delight burst like fireworks through Carter. “It’s Reed. Since you said you liked him I wanted to like him too and thought it might make him feel good.”
Watching Reed give Jacks a careful hug, this time Carter could make no excuse for the tears streaking his cheeks.
“I think it does; what do you say, Reed?”
Reed swiped at his own tears, his smile rivaling any Carter had seen before.
“I’ve never felt better.”
“Is Reed gonna stay for breakfast tomorrow?” Jacks’s hopeful gaze flitted between him and Reed, who sat frozen in his chair. “Helen showed me how to make French toast.”
“Um…Reed?”
His smile and nod were all the answer Jacks needed.
“Can I paint a mug for Helen to drink her tea in?” To Carter’s shock, Jacks kissed him on the cheek. “I promised to make her something.”
“Of course.”
Jacks hugged him around the neck, and then Carter watched as he tore off back to his seat. The dizzying ups and downs in their life could have gone so terribly wrong at so many junctures, but after years of disappointment, fear, and solitude, Carter had what he never thought he would. A home and a family.
“Hey.”
