“You said you were on a break a minute ago. Come on.” Carter’s voice dropped, softly persuasive. “Talk to me.”
“You never answered my question.”
“What? If I’m home or with someone else? Is that the gist of it?”
“Well, yeah,” Reed said, a bit reluctantly. Easier to feel brave over text, but with Carter’s voice in his ear, all Reed wanted was to slide his hand down the soft skin of Carter’s back and feel the play of muscles under his fingers. With a sinking feeling, Reed recognized the signals. Despite their initial agreement, Reed had fallen for Carter, and from Carter’s flippant tone, it was obviously one-sided.
“Never mind,” Reed said, disgusted with himself. “It doesn’t matter.”
“I’m surprised to hear from you. I didn’t realize we’d decided to start talking in between our weekends.”
“Is that a problem?”
He waited for Carter’s answer.
“We discussed this from the beginning. I’m not looking for a relationship, Reed.”
“I hardly think texting someone once or twice a week to say hi, how’re you doing, constitutes a marriage proposal.”
“No. But I don’t want to lead you on to think that anything more than what we have right now is possible.”
“I didn’t ask for anything more, dammit. But if I’m sucking your dick one week, I sure as hell don’t see an issue with me asking how your fucking day at work went the next.”
The lashing out felt cathartic, almost cleansing.
“Well,” said Carter, irritatingly calm and amused. “You’re really angry, aren’t you?”
“I get it. You’re some big important executive, and you don’t need everyone to know your business. I’m not asking for that. But sometimes it gets lonely, and I wouldn’t mind—”
“I understand. Really. And it’s okay. I have to admit…” Carter paused for a moment, and Reed pictured him stretched out in bed, his dark hair spread out on the pillows. “It was nice hearing from you. And to answer your question, yes.”
“Yes what? I’ve forgotten what my question was.”
Carter chuckled in his ear, a warm and inviting sound, and Reed wished he was curled up in own his bed so they could have some dirty phone talk. Or, better yet, curled up next to Carter.
“I’m home alone. In my bed.”
“Are you married? I can’t keep seeing you if you’re cheating on your wife.” He held his breath, waiting for the fallout.
“God, no, I’m not married. Never have been. Is that what’s been troubling you and why you decided to text me?”
A sigh of relief, yet still no answers. “I wish…” Reed stopped, knowing it was useless.
“Don’t.”
That solitary word fell flat, and all good humor fled. Reed heard a longing and sadness in Carter’s voice he hadn’t heard before.
“Wishes can’t always make dreams come true.”
His breath caught in his throat. “I’m the last person you have to tell that to, trust me.” He gave up on dreams and wishes when he found out why his mother left.
The phone remained silent, and Reed wondered if Carter had disconnected. “What do you want, Reed? I thought we were having a good time, but something’s obviously bothering you. Do you want to end it?”
No, he wanted to cry out, and he gripped the phone tighter in his sweaty palm.I want you to tell me the truth about yourself. Your hopes and dreams. A tiny part of his mind whispered,I don’t want to be alone anymore. I want you to fall in love with me.But he held back, struggling as always not to give in to his emotions, and instead posed the question right back to Carter.
“Doyou?”
“I think—”
