Ash started to shiver, nervous at what he was about to say. In their last conversation before he’d died, Keith had told him not to wait to tell Drew he loved him. Even Jordan recognized it long before he had.
“Drew?” Ash’s lips were buried in Drew’s silky curls.
“Hmm?”
“I have to tell you something.” Ash flung his hip over Drew’s leg, forcing their cocks to rub up against each other.
“I think I know already.” Drew’s voice caught in his throat as Ash pulled away from his touch. “What’s wrong? Do you feel guilty about being together because of what happened to Keith? I don’t think he’d mind. And I really need you, Ash. So bad. I need you inside me.”
“Wait.” Ash’s voice croaked out hoarse and thick. “I want you too, but that wasn’t it.”
Drew sat up, his green eyes wide and curious. “I’m listening.”
Ash took Drew’s hand and pressed his lips to the long, slim fingers. “Baby, you need to understand how, from the day I saw you, my life turned upside down. I didn’t plan it, and I fought against it at every turn. Knowing you and getting close to you has made me a better man. Not perfect, I’m far from that. I’m a work in progress, but any improvement is solely due to you.”
Drew smiled, then bent over andkissed him. “You’ve changed me too. And I’ve never been so happy as when I’m with you. But why would you fight it?”
“Because I didn’t deserve it,” he cried out, covering his face with his hands. “I’m selfish and a complete bastard. But most of all, I’m not a good person, not like you. I see the worst while you’re always looking for the best.”
Now Drew took him into his arms, cuddling him like a child. “Shh. You have no idea how good you are. It’s all there, in the work you do with the kids, the time you’ve spent with Stevie, and the love you show my grandmother.”
“But—”
“Stop.” Drew placed warm fingers over Ash’s lips. “Stop putting yourself down and regretting the past. Feel the future, live it, and embrace who you are. Accept that you are needed, wanted, and loved.”
Ash couldn’t wait any longer. He sat up and took Drew’s face between his hands. “I love you, baby. I never thought I’d have the right to say it to anyone, and I sure as hell know I don’t deserve to love you, but I want you to know how much I love you.” He kissed Drew, hard and hungry, pouring into it all the love he’d kept locked inside him all his life, since he was a child. Ash kissed Drew then, capturing his warm mouth, slipping his tongue inside, twisting, tangling, and thrusting with Drew’s until they broke apart, panting and shaking.
“Ash,” Drew whispered, a smile breaking out across his face. “Oh God, I love you too. So damn much. Since this morning when we made love, I wanted to tell you but thought I’d wait until after the party when we were alone. You know, Keith told me he knew I loved you and urged me to tell you. Telling you this today is like his validation of our love.”
Drew pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. “I love you so fucking much it hurts. It’s like I woke up and the whole world changed around me while I slept. For the first time in years, I’m alive. You did that for me.”
Then, Drew stretched his lithe body over his and laced their fingers together.
While they lay there, chest to chest, belly to belly, their cocks swollen and full of need, Ash played over in his mind what Mr. Frank had said to him, about how he needed to let go of his pain and learn to love. He hadn’t understood it then, but now he realized what the man meant. It didn’t make Ash a bad person to love Drew, even though he didn’t yet know where Luke and Brandon were. By taking on the abuse they might have suffered, he’d gained strength, a knowledge that no one would ever use him again. Loving Drew and being loved in return was a precious gift, as they’d seen tonight. A gift that in a moment in time could be snatched away, leaving behind devastation and unimaginable heartbreak.
“I love you so much, Drew. Forever. Even if I’d died tonight, it was all worth it to have had you for this time.”
“Shh.” Drew still lay on top of him, his weight negligible. Their hands entwined, like a lovers’ knot, binding them forever. “Don’t say that.”
But it was true. Forever, whether in life or death, this was it for him. Love. He could’ve wept from his happiness but was too ashamed for Drew to see his tears. Instead, he rolled over, so Drew was underneath him, and with their hands still clasped together, began to kiss Drew, starting at his neck. He nipped and sucked at the tender skin of Drew’s collarbone, then moved down to his chest covered in that fine silky hair. Drew’s nipples were already tight brown buds, but Ash drew one into his mouth, knowing how sensitive Drew was. He was rewarded by a moan and the jerking of Drew’s cock beneath him, already impossibly hard and heavy.
“Oh God, Ash, please.” Drew gasped, bucking his hips up. “Fuck me.”
“Not yet, baby.” Ash kissed and tongued Drew’s other nipple, then swirled his tongue down Drew’s stomach until he came face-to-face with his beautiful, hard cock. “I need to taste you.” He slid his tongue over the glistening head of Drew’s cock and licked its straining length. Little cries of pleasure burst from Drew’s mouth, but it wasn’t enough for Ash. He wanted Drew to scream and explode with pleasure. To always remember this night when they first said “I love you.”
He took Drew deep within his mouth, loving his sweet, musky smell and the tangy, salty taste of him. The man was downright edible, and he intended to get his fill. Cupping Drew’s balls in his hand, he rolled one sac, then the next with his fingers, stroking the sensitive skin behind them, tantalizing the fine, sweet crease of his ass.
“Ash, please,” Drew cried out. “Now. I can’t hold on much longer.”
“Yes, you can, baby. I’m gonna suck you so hard you’ll see stars behind your eyes.”
He bent over Drew and took his entire hot, rigid length into his mouth, sucking hard, drawing his tongue up and down the sensitive underside and puckered veins. Ash tickled and tormented Drew’s balls and his tight little hole with one hand while slowly stroking his own hard and heavy erection with the other. Using his own slippery precum, Ash wet his fingers and slipped one inside of Drew, smiling around his lover’s cock as he heard him groan with pleasure.
“Ash, please, please.” Drew panted.
Ash didn’t answer, merely slid in another finger and reached upward, twisting within the hot, velvety sheath of Drew’s ass to brush his gland.
“Fuuuck,” Drew screamed and came, spilling into Ash’s mouth, shoving his cock hard down Ash’s throat.
