“And I mean everything, you know,” she called after him as the elevator doors closed on him, and he traveled downward to the first floor. That promised to be an interesting conversation, for sure.
Chapter Twenty-One
Ash was in a piss-poor mood by the time he got to work. He’d first gone home to shower and change before heading to his office. Now that he’d changed into a suit and tie, the outside of him reflected his normal hard veneer, a suit of armor ready to deflect whatever life planned to throw at him. His insides, however, now that was a different story altogether.
His stomach churned with anxiety, and his nerves were shot. Each time his phone rang or Laura knocked on his door with papers to sign or to escort in his next appointment, he foolishly hoped it was Drew.
What would he say to the man anyway? He buried his head in his hands, embarrassed at his emotional outburst of last night. How could he have been so foolish to tell Drew everything about himself? Now the man would pity him and see him as nothing more than another one of his projects. Someone who needed saving, when that wasn’t what he wanted and needed at all. He stood at the window, gazing down at the busy avenue below.
A knock at the door mercifully ended his pity party. “Come in.” He brushed back his hair, hoping it lay properly. The least he could do was look the part of the unruffled executive. He didn’t want anyone in the office to know the turmoil he was facing inside.
Laura’s slightly confused face filled the doorway. “Mr. Davis, there’s a Dr. Klein to see you. He doesn’t have an appointment, but he said he’d wait as long as it took.” She pursed her lips. “Do you want me to send him away?”
Ash had to smile at her protective behavior. Laura had been with Jacob Frank for almost twenty years, right out of high school. She was a tiny woman, always dressed to perfection with sky-high heels and color-coordinating purses to match her outfits. She ran the office with almost military-like precision and accepted Ash as her own.
“No, give me a moment, then send him in.” She turned to go. “Oh, and Laura? Hold all my calls, please. If anything important comes in, direct it to Mr. Walker.”
Her heavily made-up eyes widened enough to let him know her surprise, but all she said was, “Yes, Mr. Davis,” before she left, closing the door behind her.
Ash gulped the coffee sitting on his desk, wincing at its lukewarm taste. It had been sitting there for quite some time, and its sourness only added to the roiling in his stomach. He knew the best thing he could do would be to send Drew on his way, give him thanks for the fun night, but let’s keep it strictly professional. A kiss-off. After all, they worked together, and as such, they’d have to keep seeing each other at the clinic.
Ash had no illusions about Drew eventually returning to his straight lifestyle. The man wanted to experiment, and Ash was more than happy to be his guinea pig. But Drew was made for a home and family, and Ash had that all taken away from him when he was young. He had no expectations of permanency.
Still, it didn’t stop his pulse from ratcheting up 100 percent when Laura let Drew into the room. He was happy to see Drew’s furious face. Anger he could deal with.
“Hey, how are you? How’s Esther?”
Drew stared at him. “She’s much better, but what the hell happened to you? One minute we were there, together, and the next I looked for you and you’d disappeared. Why did you leave me?”
The confusion and disappointment in his face pricked Ash’s conscience, but he steeled himself against the emotions beating in his chest. What he really wanted to do was come around from behind his desk, grab the man, and hold him tight against him. After last night he found it impossible to forget the perfect way Drew’s slim body curved around his. The thought that it might have been both the first and last time hurt Ash more than he imagined possible.
Like a coward, he remained standing behind the fortress of his desk, where he was safe from his impossible attraction to Drew. “You were busy with your family, and I didn’t belong there, so I went home to shower, change, and come to work.” Ash grasped his coffee cup, and he could only hope Drew didn’t notice how white-knuckled his fingers were.
“What the hell does that mean, you didn’t belong there? I brought you there. I wanted you with me.” Drew swallowed, and Ash heard the hurt in his voice. “I thought after last night, you wanted to be there with me too.”
Tell him, now. This is the perfect time to tell him how you really feel about him, Ash could almost hear his inner conscience screaming. And God knows he wanted to. He’d kissed the guy. He’d never done that before. Spent the night holding him as they slept. Another first for him. But Ash bit down hard on his inner cheek to stifle his words. Drew was better off without him. What happened last night was something Ash would relive for years, but Drew could move on, like he had from his girlfriend.
Ash opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say anything, Drew advanced on him, coming behind his desk, crowding up against him. He could feel the moist heat of Drew’s breath moving across his face. The top of Drew’s silky head of curls brushed his chin, and Ash almost groaned with his frustration. He was trying to do the right thing and stay away, but the pull of his body toward Drew left Ash weak in the knees.
“What are you afraid of, Ash? I let go of my fear last night when we made love.”
Drew’s body heat encompassed him, and Ash’s knees began to shake. Made love? Shit. What was happening to him? Usually he was the dominant one, the one who made other people give in to his demands. Now his stomach was doing flip-flops as he responded to Drew.
“Uh, I’m not afraid. I don’t think—”
“Yeah, you’re right. Don’t think.” Drew slipped an arm around Ash’s waist. “I never thought I’d want to be with a man, but when I stopped thinking with my head and let go with my heart, there wasn’t any place I wanted to be more than there with you last night.”
Ash whispered, gasping for air. “I took advantage of you. It’s what I do. Jordan said—”
“Forget about Jordan. He doesn’t know what I want or what I’m feeling.” Drew’s gaze touched Ash briefly; he strode back to the office door, locked it, and returned to Ash’s side. “For years I’ve been alone, even when I was with my friends or after I was married. I never felt safe, thinking everything I had would one day be taken from me.”
“But you deserve someone better. And you want a family, a home. I can’t give you that.” Ash shuddered as Drew’s hand brushed over his straining erection to unbuckle his belt and pull it out of his pant loops. “I don’t know how.”
“I disagree.” Drew unbuttoned the top of Ash’s dress slacks and unzipped them. They fell straight down to his ankles, leaving him only in his boxers, his cock bulging out, already wet and aching. “You showed me last night how caring and gentle you are.” Drew pushed down the boxers, exposing Ash’s stiff erection to the cool air.
Ash had to grab hold of the chair to steady himself. His legs trembled, and his head spun. Drew was wrong. He wasn’t good or caring. Then Drew dropped to his knees, and the sight of the man kneeling at his feet blew his mind. “Drew.” He couldn’t help moaning as he reached out to touch that head of tousled curls he’d dreamed of too many nights to ever forget.
The warmth and wetness of Drew’s mouth engulfed Ash’s cock. He wanted to pull away and tell Drew he should leave, but his body had other ideas as his cock swelled and his hips began to thrust a slow, steady rhythm into Drew’s mouth.
