“My mother didn’t drive, and my father hated taking such a long trip, but I guess I made them feel so guilty, they agreed. They came, and we had a great weekend. On the way home, they were hit by the tractor trailer.” Hot tears coursed down Drew’s cheeks as the agony engulfed him. “If I wasn’t such a needy, pathetic bastard, they’d still be alive. They’d told me they’d almost brought Rachel. For God’s sake, I could’ve killed her too.”
He lost it then and sobbed into Ash’s chest. The pain and self-reproach that had clawed at him all throughout Rachel’s minor breakdown and his grandmother’s grief finally broke free.
“Let it out; it’s okay. Baby, it’s been almost ten years. You need to let it go. It wasn’t your fault. It was a horrible accident with your parents being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
Drew wiped his eyes and gazed into Ash’s face. “All these years I always blamed myself and tried to make myself a better person. I grabbed on to any women who liked me, whether or not I found them compatible.”
“Like your ex-wife?” Ash murmured, his hands drifting downward to massage Drew’s shoulders.
Drew nodded. “I guess so. Yeah.”
Ash’s hands roamed over Drew’s body, tweaking his nipples, reaching down to grasp his cock. In between biting his ear and kissing his jaw, Ash licked his neck and whispered, “I think you’re amazing with what you’ve done with the clinic. You care so much about people, and you’re so good with the kids. I’ve never known anyone as good as you.”
The gentle caresses turned more purposeful as Ash rocked his stiff cock against Drew’s ass. Hands still clasped, Drew kissed Ash’s fingers and wondered why it didn’t seem strange to lie in his bed with a man instead of a woman. Instead of soft breasts and smooth perfumed skin, it now was a strong jaw and hard muscles he craved to touch and kiss.
Was he gay? Damned if he knew or even cared. He’d known Jordan his entire life and loved him as a friend for almost as long. Man or woman, what did it matter who he slept with, and why did people think it was any of their business? As his body warmed to Ash’s touch and his cock swelled with need, everything faded away until the only thing that mattered was this man and how they felt about each other.
“I want you. Make love to me. Now. I can’t think about anything other than your cock inside me.”
In one fluid motion Ash trapped him beneath his body. “You’re sure? You want me? It will never be the same after this.”
Drew shivered. A hard throbbing need uncoiled from within, releasing something wild. “Fuck me, Ash. Fuck me hard. I ache for you.” He writhed underneath Ash, seeking the friction he so desperately craved.
“Oh God, you’re gonna kill me.” Ash’s strained voice broke, then gasped out raw and needy. “Tell me you have condoms. And lube.”
“Night table,” he rasped. Drew heard the drawer open and Ash rustling around. Cursing, Ash turned on a lamp, casting a glow of light over the room. A strip of condoms hit the bed along with a bottle of lotion; then Ash came crawling back to him on all fours, looking like a large, dark jungle cat. Drew lay back admiring his lover’s handsome face and muscular shoulders. Dark hair sprinkled down Ash’s broad chest and washboard abs and led a trail down to his stiffened cock, which rose up straight and proud.
The intense look on Ash’s face caused a bead of precum to leak out of Drew’s cock. He struggled for breath and his sanity.
“You’re sure about this, right? Because I know once I taste you this time, I’m not stopping until I make you mine.” Ash leaned over and swiped his tongue along the head of Drew’s cock, licking up the wetness. The move was so erotic, so intimate Drew almost came right then.
“You know if you keep this up, you’re going to ruin your rep as a ruthless bastard.” Drew watched Ash’s lips, wet and gleaming, curve in a wicked smile.
“Then we’ll have to keep it our secret, won’t we?” Ash slid his bulk over Drew until their lips were almost touching. The smell of sex and man created a heady perfume. Without thinking, Drew wound his arms around Ash’s neck and kissed him, the salty-sweet taste bursting on his tongue as Ash groaned into his mouth.
Their cocks bumped and slid even as their mouths devoured each other. Drew felt a heavy, muscular thigh push between his legs. “Want you, baby.” Ash’s heavy pants matched the throbbing of Drew’s cock. “I want to be inside you so bad.”
Drew opened his legs wide. “Take me. Fuck me already. You have to know how much I want this, want you.”
Ash dropped his head back down for a quick kiss, then reached for the lotion. Drew couldn’t help but tense as Ash’s cool, slicked fingers touched his ass, then breached his hole. Everything faded away, all fear and hesitation, at the touch of Ash’s finger sliding inside Drew for the first time. He gasped as it sank in slowly past the first ring of muscle, then reached farther until it was settled to the hilt.
“Okay, baby?” Ash’s eyes glimmered with concern.
“It feels strange, but yeah, I’m fine.” Drew smiled, then groaned when Ash inserted another finger to join the other already inside and curled them upward. “Oh damn, that’s strange.” It burned a bit and stretched, but no pain.
Ash continued to twist his wicked fingers inside him when he hit something. His prostate, Drew thought, and every nerve ending burst into flames. He cried out, sliding down on the bed, pushing against those fingers as they continued to thrust in and out of his willing body. Pleasure rolled through Drew so intense and raw he wondered how he’d lived without it all these years.
“Oh God. Ash, please. Now.”
He heard the foil tear on the condom wrapper and the slick sliding as Ash rolled it on and lubricated himself.
“Pick up your legs, baby, and put them on my shoulders.” The thick wide head of Ash’s cock nudged his entrance, and he tensed for a moment. “Ssh. I’ll be gentle with you. It’s my first time too. I’ve never been with a virgin, so we’ll learn together.”
Drew bit his lip hard as Ash reached down to guide himself inside. The sting and burn were much stronger than with Ash’s fingers, but he knew to relax and keep breathing. Once the head passed through that tight ring of muscle, it was done, and Drew struggled to breathe from the overwhelming sensation of having a part of Ash inside him.
“You okay, baby?” The strain and need in Ash’s hoarse voice caused a pang in Drew’s heart. No one had ever shown him such tenderness and care. Most of the blowjobs he’d received from women were merely a means to an end for them, though they seemed to enjoy when he returned the favor.
“I’m good. Now move.”
