“I know. I’m getting up now.” Shit. He hadn’t even realized until now that he’d fallen asleep on his couch, let alone covered himself with a blanket. That seemed bizarre to him, but yesterday was a bizarre day—full of emotion, sentiment, and the inevitable guilt at seeing his parents’ names up on the wall. Normally, he tried not to think about them too often, for the pain over their loss, even after all these years, still tore at him.
Scrubbing his face with his hands, he then took a deep breath and pushed himself to an upright position. He didn’t feel like throwing up, which he considered a good thing. When he glanced at his watch, he saw it was only ten in the morning. At least he hadn’t slept away the entire day, especially since he had so much to do to get ready for the grand opening of the clinic tomorrow.
It looked like it would be warm today, as the sun was already bright overhead, and the blue of the sky seemed endless when he stuck his head out of the window to get some fresh air into his lungs. That and several cups of coffee would kick-start his day. After feeding Domino, he made himself a cup, then stood in the kitchen, gulping down the hot elixir of life. The rest of the carafe he put in the refrigerator to cool down for iced coffee later on.
He popped two aspirin in his mouth and swallowed them down with the coffee. Not exactly the right way to take medicine, but desperate times and all that. Still working through the fog in his mind, he padded his way through the living room, straight into the bathroom. He turned on the taps to the shower and, after shucking off his clothes, stood with his eyes closed under the stream of heated water. For some reason, as it had been for weeks now, his mind fixated on Asher Davis with a stubbornness he couldn’t push away.
Ever since they’d met, that man had gotten under his skin, first in a negative way, when Drew watched Ash have sex in the restaurant, then slowly morphing into a person he might like, revealing he had substance under his fine suits and handsome face. There was more to him than Jordan had initially said. It wasn’t only sex and fucking. Call it what you will, but he’d formed a kind of camaraderie with the man. Drew sensed his loneliness and could relate. There could’ve been a hundred people in his apartment yesterday, yet Drew still would have felt alone. Nothing broke the emptiness inside of him, no matter how he filled his life with friends and family.
Yesterday, though… His mind strained to hold on to a memory that teased at the corner of recollection. With his eyes still shut, Drew fumbled for the soap. He lathered and stroked himself, wondering if he should start dating casually. Maybe Peter’s wife could set him up with a friend. But instead of a beautiful blonde or brunette woman, the memory of Ash Davis in the hallway with that man flooded his mind. His cock hardened, and the sound of his rough breathing echoed in the small tiled shower. With one hand braced on the wall, he slid the other, slick with suds, up and down his erection. Why did that scene, and nothing else, cause him to swell even thicker, until all he could visualize was Ash’s open mouth and his thick, gleaming cock sliding in and out of the waiter’s mouth.
What the hell! Damn Ash Davis. The man was a notorious tomcat, a living, breathing erection on demand who probably fucked any man who gave him the side eye of interest. Cursing him was of no use, however, as Drew’s cock had a mind of its own and his orgasm hurtled upon him. Spots danced before his eyes as he came, spurting against the tiles of the shower wall, his essence swirling its way down the drain. He turned off the shower and wrapped himself in a towel, all the while his mind racing, splintering off in a thousand possible directions.
Holy hell. What was going on in his fucked-up psyche that all of a sudden he lusted after a man. He wasn’t gay. Was he? Could someone become gay in one day? Did he want to be with a man? Before now, he would’ve laughed at the thought, but standing in his bathroom, contemplating these questions freaked him out. Yeah, the fact that he fucking jerked himself off thinking about Ash Davis totally freaked him out. Shit, his head hurt.
He pulled on jeans and a faded Stones’ T-shirt. Maybe he’d bake his grandmother some cookies, visit her later in the afternoon, and everything would be fine. One thing he’d learned since his parents’ deaths was to compartmentalize things. If he didn’t want to think about it, he sealed it off in his brain, with the other things he didn’t ever want to discuss. Like jerking off to images of another man.
Feeling better now that he’d pushed his emotions under the proverbial rug, he puttered around his apartment a bit, trying to straighten up after the party last night. While watering his plants, he stopped by the arrangement of cacti he had grouped on the table and tested the dirt. Dry as a bone, so he gave each pot a small dollop of water. Something caught his eye in the grouping of the pots. He reached in and pulled out a pair of expensive sunglasses. It took him a second to recognize them as belonging to Ash.
Slipping them in his back pocket, he then returned to the kitchen and pulled out his baking pans, along with everything else he needed to bake his grandmother’s favorite cookies. He mixed the batter and added in extra-large chocolate chips, and put some butterscotch chips in as well. He washed his hands as he waited for the oven to preheat. When the oven beeped, he slid the pans inside and set the time for fifteen minutes.
He drank another cup of coffee, this time ice-cold and refreshing, and wandered back into his living room. With nothing to do except wait for his cookies to bake, then cool, he stretched out on the couch and flipped on the TV. For an early Sunday afternoon, it was quiet on his block. There were no screams from playful toddlers running down the block or cars revving in the street. The silence unnerved him. He shook his head at the strange thoughts in his mind. Maybe he was still a little drunk.
He roamed the channels and found a repeat of last night’s Yankees game. As he settled back to watch, once again he had the strangest feeling someone else had been there with him yesterday after the party. The sunglasses in his back pocket dug into his ass, and not wanting to break them, he took them out and left them on the table. A thought popped into his head, and he opened his laptop, then logged on to that dating site he’d seen on TV—Big Apple Meet Ups. There was a free seven-day trial, so he created an account and the faces of hundreds of women, all dying to meet him, filled his screen.
After three pages his eyes glazed over. So many women. Christ. Each one seemed perfect for him. But then again, he’d thought Jackie was perfect too, although if he’d looked closer, maybe he would’ve seen the warning signs his family and friends tried to point out. Hindsight was easy after the fact. What a waste. Yeah, the sex had been okay, but he couldn’t forgive himself for being so easily duped. Guess he wasn’t as great a judge of character as he thought. Either that or she was a damn good actress when she wanted something, which was more likely the truth.
He wanted to prove to them all—his sister and his friends—that he could make his own decisions about his life without the need for their well-meaning intervention, or, in the case of Jordan, his arrogant opinions.
Jackie had made no secret from the moment they’d met at the rooftop bar of the Tribeca Grand that she wanted him. Badly. If he were the type of guy to score on the first date, he could’ve had her in his bed that night. And she was more than willing, he realized as he recalled her attempts in the cab they’d shared, to get him to come home with her. Maybe that was his problem. He took sex seriously and couldn’t understand people like Jackie and Asher Davis, who threw it around like it meant nothing at all.
No more thinking about the past. Lucky for him, he’d extricated himself quickly and painlessly, with nothing more than a bruised but not broken heart. Luckily, Jackie hadn’t gotten pregnant. She didn’t want to have any children, and he’d always expressed a desire to adopt. He didn’t need to have his own children, and after learning about the tragedy of the foster care system, maybe he would think about becoming a single dad in the near future.
The oven timer dinged, and he returned to the kitchen to pull the cookies out of the oven. They smelled wonderful as he set the pans on the counter to cool. Domino sniffed at his toes and swatted his ankles.Looks like someone wants a treat. Drew took out one of the bowls he kept on the counter specifically for that purpose and bent down to feed and pet the purring cat.
A beep sounded from the living room. “Come on, kitty. Let’s go and see who wants what from me.” He plopped down on the sofa and peered at the slightly blurry computer screen. Damn. Maybe he did need to start wearing those glasses the ophthalmologist said he needed. Until then, he’d make do with squinting.
Oh wow. Turned out he had an IM from a woman. That was quicker than he’d expected.
Hi. I’m Alyssa. How are you?
Hmm. A little strange to do it this way, but he shrugged. Technology was the way of the world now, so here went nothing.
I’m good, thanks. How are you?
Great. I saw your profile, and I live near you and wondered if you’d want to get together for a coffee or a drink this week.
Just then the downstairs buzzer rang. He wasn’t expecting anyone. Domino jumped off the couch and ran into the bedroom.
Hold on for a few? My doorbell rang.
Sure. Not a problem.
He spoke into the little speaker box. “Who is it?”
“Hey, Drew. It’s Ash. May I come up?”
Funny, he’d never noticed the slight Southern drawl in Ash’s voice. An unexpected shiver raced through him. “Sure,” he said and pushed the button to release the door lock.
