She shook her head, shrugged. “I told him no, and then he had some fun.”
I took a deep breath. “Did he…hurt you beyond what I can see?” I whispered, wanting to be gentle about the invasive question.
“I don’t want to talk about it anymore, Sistine. I want to just forget. It feels like if we keep talking and thinking about it, it’s going to take my brother from me. I can’t. I just can’t.” She started to sob, covering her face.
I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer, and we both cried.
Then we both buried it, but we did not forget.
Chapter 16
Sistine
Warm water slid down my face and dripped into the sink. I refused to splash it with cold. Cold water would only bring forward details of that night that I might have forgotten. It would dig up ones that would never go away.
The uncontrolled fear. The pent-up fury.
The feeling of spinning helplessness that almost made my mind numb, as numb and chapped as my ass had been from peeing myself, along with the burning cold.
I looked into my eyes, searching for any signs that I was not feeling as strong as I usually did. Reliving that night made me feel breathless. I lifted my hands. Trembling. I set them underneath the warm flow and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, refusing to look myself in the mirror. Refusing to allow the memories to lodge inside of my eyes.
I knew what was going to happen if Mariano found out, and Scarlett’s words, or a sum of them, floated through my mind like a melody.
No matter what you both do, root it in love.
Atta was right. Rattler and his brothers were not worth the stain on Mariano’s soul. I had to protect him from this.
He and Angelo would eventually find out about the money, how deeply in debt the ranch was, and how horrible the men were who wanted to steal it from the Watt family, but what happened to us that night would stay buried.
I tried to take a deep breath, and the air whistled through my nose. I had not been crying, but my nose was blocked as if I was.
Sighing, I fixed my hair before I opened the bathroom door, running right into a hard wall when I stepped out.
“Oof!” My hands automatically slammed into a chest.
My eyes rose to meet Mariano’s. They were almost frantic. He was standing guard outside of the door.
I smiled to hide the nightmare night that I was burying even deeper. I rubbed my foot against his leg. “I did not let the sock elf get me, Casanova. All good here.”
He searched my face, as if he was searching for a lie, or some minuscule sign that my allergies were getting worse. I sneezed and his eyes narrowed, then he picked me up and carried me into the room with the television. He sat me down on the sofa, covered me with a blanket, and after sitting beside me, pulled me in so close, it was as if he was trying to weld me to his side.
A trembling breath left my mouth at the feel of his warmth. His protective nature. I curled up even closer to him, even tucking my hands against his side. He kissed my forehead, and I looked up, meeting his eyes. I expected them to be softened, warm, even hot, but they were sharp, digging.
I turned my face forward and cleared my throat. “The movie?” I said to no one in particular. My voice came out shredded, but it was easily blamed on my allergies and what they were doing to my upper respiratory system.
Angelo had the remote and played the first movie.Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade.Urban Cowboyafter. At first, the men seemed to be feeding off our tension, Mariano looking atme constantly, willing me to meet his eyes so he could find something. He was close. So close.
We all seemed to relax when Angelo gave us his Papà’s version of, “Do not ride that bullll, Sissy!”
Atta and I were hysterical with laughter, and this seemed to soothe Mariano and Angelo, at least for a time. My pick played next.Mufasa: The Lion King. It was hard not to think about the conversation Atta and I had in the kitchen. The words Scarlett had spoken to me about love.
Atta’s need to protect Angelo from that night—I completely understood it. It reinforced what Scarlett had said to me.
As a woman, we have a need to protect our men as well. From damage to the soul. And the instincts in the men next to us were so ingrained in them to protect our flesh and bones.
For instance, Mariano was looking to kill the common cold inside of me. He considered it an enemy.
The lion was not only a symbol to the Fausti family, but it was their spirit animal. I had never met a Fausti who did not embody some aspect of the wild animal. This was why Hannah either referred to the ones on the ranch as lions or hunters.
