Her smile widened, and I wasn’t sure why. “I don’t mean to smile right now, but I never thought I’d see the day when we would fight over a boy, and how puppy love can make you blind to so many red flags.”
Her words hurt me so much, it felt like they sucker punched me, and I choked on air. “Is that how you see Matteo? As a…” I couldn’t even say the word, because it was that absurd. “And is that how you see my truth? What I’m telling you? What you refuse to see? Puppy love?”
She lifted her hands. “Okay, maybe my wording was wrong. He’s a man, but can’t you see how much worse this is? He’s a man who’s used to controlling everything around him, including people.” She sighed. “Haven’t you had enough of that?”
“He doesn’t control me,” I said. “Our love, to a certain degree, does. Our marriage doesn’t have percentages. Sometimes he gives more and sometimes I do. I want to be a good wife to him because he’s the best husband to me. He loves me. Respects me. And.” I fisted the top to my dress, right over my heart, wishing I could pull my heart out and show her what existed deep inside of it. She’d see Matteo’s face and feel his touch. “I shouldn’t have to explain this to you, but I really want you to understand. I want you to love us together. But I can’t live without him, mom. If something ever happened to him, there would be no me. You gave birth to me so we could find each other and love each other.Na muri scrivutu ne stiddi.” I cleared my throat. “Un amore scritto nelle stelle.”
“What does that mean?” she whispered.
“A love that is written in the stars in Sicilian and in Italian.”
“That’s beautiful, baby, it really is.” She swallowed hard. “Is that what Matteo told you?”
“He taught me the translations, yeah.”
“Baby. Men lie. I know that. Seen it with my own two eyes too many times to count. How many times did I see heartbrokenwomen storming into the club, watching their men lust after other women. Yeah, they were angry, but anger stems from hurt.”
“Not all of them lie! Not him and his family!”
“Shhh,” she shushed me. “We’re only talking.”
“I know.” My eyes felt tight, and a second later, warm tears rolled down my cheeks, turning cold with the breeze. “But this is the most important thing in my life. Will ever be in my life.”
“A baby will be the most important?—”
“I know, but a baby is part of it for us. A part of him. A part of me.” It brought back the plaque in Scarlett’s garden that Brando had gotten done for her when they lost their first Matteo. “Our baby will be created fromour love. This is it for me, mom.It.Theend.Myalways. I can’t live without him, whether you accept that or not. That’s why he hasn’t been trying to put on extra charm. He knows you’ll see past the bullshit. He’s just himself with me. Because his truth is everything. It’s his honor. You see it, but you’re refusing to believe it. That’s killing me.”
She studied my eyes, then took a seat on the veranda, where she’d left her book and water. She lifted her hands. “I’m just trying to protect you, baby. Protect you like I swore to do since the day I found out you were inside of me. I just want…what’s best for you. Healthy and happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for my baby.”
I wiped my eyes and went to her, squatting down in front of her, taking her hands. “I might have been a prisoner all my life, but I know how to listen to my heart, mom. It’s all I had left in that place.”
“Baby,” she whispered, lifting me up by the arms, pulling me against her chest, crying into my hair. “As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. I do like him. I do. I like the family I’ve met. The walls might seem like a cage, but I get why they’re there. To protect you. Protect you like I couldn’t. It might take time, but…”
I looked up at her and she wiped my eyes, then kissed them.
“Vow to me,” I breathed. “Vow to me you’ll give us that. Time.” She knew I didn’t mean just to fall in love with Matteo, but to stick around.
“We’ve come this far, right?”
“Can I tell you something?” I whispered.
“Anything, bestie boo.”
“Besides Matteo’s arms, yours are the only other ones I need around me.”
She pulled me in even harder, laughing and crying into my hair, breathing me in, and in that moment, that felt like the strongest vow she could have ever made to me.
Chapter 46
Stella
Ididn’t hear the door open or shut as I was setting the table and mom was finishing dinner, but I knew the time. Only if something came up with the family was my husband ever late, and when he was going to be, he would let me know. Mom had decided to make special Louisiana dishes with what we had. She’d turned from a decent cook into an excellent one. The samples she’d given me while cooking, making sure each dish had enough seasonings, were out-of-this-world good.
“Are you sure he’ll like them?” she asked in a rush.
I nodded. “He’s not a food snob or anything. He ate half of my funnel cake at the theme park we went to in Los Angeles.”
She exploded with laughter. “That’s good, but I can’t blame him if he is a food snob. The Italians ’round here know how to cook.”
