I wiggled out of his hold and touched his face. “We all have pasts. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of. You’re one of the strong who could take control of the half that threatened…everything.”
“You didn’t let me finish,” he said.
“Finish?”
“Nothing controls me, except for you, Leonora. Your love. Your hate. Everything in between. It drives me to take risks, to become vulnerable in front of people—to say our vows, to show the world what exists between us. You. That’s how you control me. You’re unhappy, I’ll find a way to make whatever’s wrong right. You’re happy, I’ll find a way to keep you that way.”
I wasn’t sure if it was all men in Big’s line of work, because I’d never associated with men as deep as him in that life before, but I found it to be very important to read between the lines with him sometimes. I knew what Big was telling me without him having to spell it out.
The cycle his parents had started was spinning in him, and once he got back to Vegas after Italy, he controlled the drinking part of it. But he had closed himself off. He was showing me, by having all these public weddings, that he wouldn’t tire when it came to keepingushealthy.
He’d opened himself up to being vulnerable…for me. And for a man like him, that went much deeper than love. It almost felt like he was gambling with his life.
“There’s no other place I would want to be.” I locked our hands together. “I belong here with you.”
“Fucking right you do.” He pulled my face toward his, and when our lips met, his kiss made me melt. That was how he’d gotten past my fireproof heart. Only he had the secret weapon to my armor.
We kissed until I was whimpering into his mouth, and even though he said I never had to beg, I needed him to be inside of me. He turned me around and ordered me to put my hands against the bed. I braced myself after he lifted the silk over my ass.
I sucked in a breath when he entered me. And with each stroke, my chest and lungs started to burn, because he was relentless, like he was chasing some high that only I could give him. My hips were going to be bruised, and I might not walk straight for a week, yet I started to meet him thrust for thrust, groan for groan, until our bodies were slapping, and we were both sweating and breathless.
“Fuck!” he roared.
A scream tore out of me when my entire body gave in as a surge of pleasure washed thorough every cell and stopped my heart for a second. He came inside of me a second later, and I collapsed on the bed. My eyes closed, and my entire body trembled. I was still able to open my mouth, though.
“Big?” I whispered.
He kissed my head in acknowledgment.
“I’m not sure what you do, but whatever it is, keep doing it. I’ve never been happier.”
A shallow breath left his mouth as I fell asleep in his arms.
* * *
The next day,we left for the F1 track in Monza, which Big told me was close to Milan.
Two days after that, before the sun came up, we left for the track. Big had told me this race was mostly for enthusiasts of the sport who had bought tickets in support of whichever charity Rocco was championing. That was nice, but I was eager to see what Big could do. From everything I’d read, he was one of the best, and I knew so many people were going to be anticipating his return.
He set his hand over my knee and squeezed. “Calm,” he said in a soothing voice.
“How canyoube so calm? You’re about to go over a thousand miles per hour in a car going around loops.”
“A thousand miles per hour?” He grinned. “Sounds like fun to me.”
“It would.”
“You’re more dangerous to my heart than the car I’m about to drive. I live for a challenge.”
“Ha ha,” I mock laughed. “You’re hilarious, Big.”
“That’s a first. No one has ever accused me of having a sense of humor before.”
“How does it feel?”
He took a second. “I like it when you do the accusing.”
We looked at each other and grinned, and my heart skipped a couple of beats. He was so gorgeous. The kind of gorgeous that was refined, but with a rugged edge to it. And the way the light in the car kept playing with the color of his eyes…more green than blue in that light...
