His face softened and he lifted his hand, barely touching my hair. “I like your hair like this,” he whispered.
I’d pumped my hair full of volume at the top and did a wrapped side ponytail. My wrists jingled with diamond and gold jewelry as I set my hand over his before he could take it back fully. “Enough to come with me today?” I whispered.
I’d never been so…needy (maybe even clingy) before. Being close to him seemed to be the only cure for whatever I was going through. It felt a lot like separation anxiety.
He didn’t seem to care enough about his safety, which made it worse. I seemed to be going overboard with it. He was obsessed with mine, though, concerned that whoever was after him would maybe try to get to him through me.
Distance from me—if they were after him, I wouldn’t be close—gave him peace. It was driving me mad. My need to keep him close at all times felt dangerously close to an unhealthy fear. Whenever the phone rang or he was late, I assumed the worst. I knew being with a man who had a dangerous “job” wasn’t for the faint of heart, but I had never expected to react the way I’d been.
I never expected to fall for Big as much as I did either.
He came into my life so unexpectedly, and when I fell, I fell fast and hard. A first for a woman who was used to being so independent.
Big kissed my palm, keeping my hand in his after. “You’re more dangerous than a bullet.” He sighed, resigned. “I can’t fucking say no to you or dig you out.”
“Would you want to?”
“I’d die before that happened.”
I leaned forward and kissed him before I scooted over and made room for him. He fixed his jacket and then held my hand. As my brother Angelo pulled away from the casino and into traffic, Big made a call to rearrange his schedule, and my eyes went to Angelo for a brief second.
I wasn’t sure how it happened, but my brother seemed to have turned into a man in just the short time Big had been in our lives. Big had become a role model to both of my brothers. Angelo wanted into Big’s family business, while Phoenix was interested in the actual business part of it. Even though I hated to think of Angelo doing what Big did, I knew Big was leading him into it in a safer way. And he was teaching him the value of a dollar, which was why Angelo was driving us around, Umberto next to him. For the summer, he had the job of my chauffeur whenever he wasn’t carting Big and Umberto to wherever they needed to go.
Phoenix really liked Gio and his two dogs, so he’d been spending some time with Gio during the summer. Phoenix kept asking for a dog of his own, and he wanted to know everything about training them. It had made me uneasy, at first, to let Phoenix spend time with Gio, because…Bugsy. That wasn’t a nickname that was just given to him. He’d earned it. But Big told me Gio considered Phoenix a little cousin. Big went as far as giving me his word that Phoenix was in no danger of Gio himself.
In so many ways, big and little, both of my brothers were growing up.
It sent an unexpected feeling through my chest. I was half wistful for the past—I’d been so overwhelmed with taking care of two boys that I wasn’t sure I had fully appreciated the small moments—and half hopeful for the future. I looked forward to watching whoever they were going to become.
Trying not to get too choked up, I gazed out the window until we came to the local coffee place. I turned and faced Big, who just shrugged. Angelo inched up until the back window was to the drive-through speaker. Big gave the girl our order—three coffees and a special pink cold concoction for me—and we pulled up to retrieve it.
The young girl at the window flashed Angelo a dazzling smile, but he was all business as he paid her and then handed the holder to Umberto, who distributed the cups.
Big took a drink after we pulled back into traffic. “How are you feeling, Aphrodite? Ready to drink up or fling the entire cup at someone’s car?”
I rolled my eyes and took a big sip as the three men laughed.
Big squeezed my hand and set his coffee down. He faced me, his entire demeanor hardening. “I’m not going in with you,” he said.
A grin came to my face. “Superstitious, Big?”
He nodded, nothing softening about his face. “We don’t walk under ladders, we spit if a black cat crosses our path, and if you have dreams of blood or water, you let Kitty know.”
“That’s right,” I said. Kitty, his grandmother, had mentioned dreams to me before. “Dark water means trouble. Dark blood means defeat. Bright blood means victory. And bright water means…peace.”
“What about frogs?” Angelo asked. “I had a dream about them not long ago. They were all over me.”
Umberto seemed to think about this. “What color?”
“Green,” Angelo said.
“I would think money.” Umberto’s tone was completely serious.
“Yeah?” Angelo sat up a little taller and squeezed the wheel, like he was excited.
Umberto nodded, and he and Angelo discussed the theory behind this as we pulled in front of the small, exclusive designer wedding boutique. I pulled my phone out of my purse and sent a text to Georgia, wondering if she’d made it yet. My phone chirped a second later. She was already inside.
I stared down at my phone, even after the screen went dim and the text disappeared.
