I’d finally dug beneath the layers of his hair and found his entire face.
I didn’t know what to do with myself.
I felt lost, like my heart didn’t belong to me anymore and my brain was trying to figure out where I’d left it.
I’d given him a medium-length undercut with short back and sides, then made it look wet when I’d slicked it back. It was the hairstyle from the movieKing Arthur, and…I took a deep breath…King Arthur had nothing on Cian O'Callaghan.
“There,” I barely breathed, dusting some old hair from his shoulder. “I hope you like it.”
His eyes had been closed during the last few minutes, and instead of looking at himself, he looked at me.
I set my back against the counter because my knees were suddenly too weak to carry my weight. Together, his eyes were piercing, but not cold enough to make me shiver. More like a pewter sky after the storm has gone and the sun is about to break through.
“You’re not so much of a beast now,” I whispered.
He made a strangled noise in his throat, and it seemed to mimic the sound my heart made. I wasn’t sure why, but the way he was looking at me was breaking my heart.
He stood abruptly and stormed out of the room.
My shaky knees stopped me from going after him, but even if I could have, my breath was lost, and I was too unsteady to find it.
* * *
After Cian had stormed out,and I’d recovered some of my breath and strength, I started to clean up his hair. Beatrice came in and tried to stop me. We cleaned it up together, and then I did the necessary things in the bathroom. I hurriedly fixed my bun, threw on a long, thin sweater—the weather was much milder in Ireland in winter—and a pair of leggings. I stuffed my feet into a pair of sneakers and walked out the bedroom door.
Cian was in the same spot he’d been in before, but he’d trimmed his beard to match his new haircut. I grinned and nodded at him in encouragement. I found he reacted to actions more than he did words, like maybe it was easier for him to find the truth in those.
He grabbed me by the arm. We stopped on the steps, him one behind me, and I had to strain my neck to look up at him. He was uneasy. Maybe because this was the first outing since I’d arrived.
“You still think I’m a flight risk, but we made a deal. I promise I’m not going to run.”
My breath got stuck in my throat when I thought he was going to respond. I’d never seen that look on his face before, like he had something to say, and he was going to explode if he didn’t. My breath released when he grunted and nodded for me to keep walking.
“I’m not,” I grumbled, going down the steps, “going to run.”
He grunted again. It was in a way that made me think he didn’t believe me.
Beatrice had breakfast ready, and I shoveled my food like Cian did. He stopped and looked up at me. I shrugged. I loved exploring the castle and the property—I hadn’t even seen half of either yet—but I was looking forward to getting out. I was hoping I could pick up a few books.
If the trip was on Cian, I was going to buy a bunch of them and share them with Fiona. I wondered if she and Beatrice would want to start our own little book club.
The thought seemed to up my anticipation. I almost ran to the car when it was time to go. Cian kept giving me side-eye looks. Maybe he didn’t know what to do with an excited me. It looked like he’d been dropped into a new universe when I turned the radio on and started to sing along. The singer, Ruairi (Rory) Merrick, was from Ireland, and he was one of my favorites. Delaney loved him too, and she’d gotten tickets for us to see him in Boston the upcoming summer. Since it was going to be held at a smaller venue, I’d agreed.
Hearing Ruairi Merrickin Ireland, even on the radio…it soothed some of the sadness at not being able to go with her.
“How nice, Maeve,” Beatrice said from the backseat. “You have a lovely voice.”
I didn’t, but I thanked her anyway.
When the song ended, Cian looked at the radio and then at me. He turned the sound up and looked at me again.
“Are you trying to drown me out?” I smiled at him, messing around.
The car swerved some before he righted it. He shook his head.
Oh, he wantsme to sing.That had never happened to me before. I turned the volume down and tried to sing along, but I didn’t know most of the songs. I was relieved when instrumental music started to play. By that time, though, we’d arrived in Galway.
It was a bustling city, and after we hit a few stores, I was ready for solitude again. People exhausted me. They seemed to do the same to Cian. He was constantly on guard at the castle, but being out in the public…it made him rigid with tension.
