But I couldn’t deny myself.
I wanted her.
I’d kill to have her. I’d kill to keep her.
I stopped midway up the hill. I was retracin’ the steps I’d taken after my parents were killed, headin’ to their final restin’ place.
A reminder of all I’d lost and why I was still standin’.
For revenge.
That thing in my chest, though? It felt like it was stretchin’, and I needed to get back to her before it snapped, and I lost the connection.
The thought of anythin’ happenin’ to her…I closed my eyes and breathed in deep, trying to control the feelings I’d buried for so long, but images started to haunt me.
Maeve screamin’ my name in fear.
Her blood bein’ spilled, runnin’ along the floor in black rivers.
Her eyes closin’.
Feelin’ her last breath wash over my lips.
Her body turnin’ cold.
Havin’ to give her to the frozen ground.
A noise tore away from my chest like it was bein’ forced out, and I started back toward the castle.
So much fuckin’ chaos.
I stopped and held my hands over my head, tryin’ to drown out the noise. Tryin’ to drown out life.
I turned and ran up the hill, only stoppin’ when I came to the stone fence. The skeletons of wildflowers dotted the grass, and they waved with a gust of wind.
Three stone crosses were planted in the center. One for each of my parents, and one for the siblin’ I’d never know. Fiona thought Mam would have wanted it that way.
We’d buried them in the same spot I’d run to.
We’d buried them with all that was left of that boy.
I came back to the spot often as a reminder, but I was bein’ reminded of more than just a vendetta, and I didn’t like it.
The memories, they were replayin’ on repeat, but with Maeve’s face.
It was makin’ my head throb.
I started back for the castle. I needed to be close to her.
She needed to eat. She needed to stay healthy and alive.
Fuck.
What had I done to myself?
It was like she’d stuck a hook inside of me and was reelin’ me in. And I couldn’t seem to find it to pull it out. To set myself free.
The power had swung to the queen’s court. She ruled me.
