I grinned back at them, even though my hands strangled the armrests.
On the inside, they were probably gloating about my fear after the snide comment I made about one of them not getting the memo about the jewelry they wore not being a claim.
I mean, I’d gloat too, but this seemed excessive, since their lives were on the line as well as mine.
Naz’s copilot was not shitting me when he said we were in for some turbulence. The entire plane seemed to tremble with it, and my body kept being jolted from one side to another. Even the lights flickered some. I was waiting for oxygen masks to drop at any second.
Was this fucking normal?
I refused to ask any of the molds.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then turned my face and looked out the window.
Bad idea.
No.
Theworst idea.
I didn’t see any patchwork patterns connecting the layout of the land. No lights running through sound surfaces like sparkling veins. All I thought I saw was a very pissed-off sea.
Is that water? If it is, why are we flying over so much of it?
I went to grab for my phone and remembered I didn’t have one. Security at the Fausti Palazzo in Venice had confiscated it from me. I couldn’t even—fuckadee fuck, fuck, fuck!The plane bounced and rocked me from side to side, and the lights flickered again. I imagined the swirling wind trying to catch us up in its tornado.
If something happened, I couldn’t even call my sister and make things right with her. She would allow guilt to eat her up. That was the kind of person my sister was. She looked more like Sonny’s side whereas I looked more like our mom. On the inside, though, I thought it was reversed. She took after my mom, and I took after Sonny—emotionally dead at times unless something dangerous sparked me to come to life.
The issues I had with Sonny, though, felt like the driving force behind…my steps in this life. I didn’t want a heart because of him and all the things he’d done andnotdone.
Okay. I wasn’t getting in deep with that. Sonny wasnotgoing to be the last person I thought of before we crashed. He didn’t deserve it, even if it was negative.
The only other person who came to mind as “safe” was flying this steel bird.
Whyhe even came to mind, I had no clue, but he did.
This was so unlike me to attach to someone else like this—like a clingy octopus—and I’d only just met him.
Yeah, he ticked off so many boxes, but before him...I’d never even had fucking boxes.
I had people who entered my life in the usual way—chance meetings. Few stayed. Joe the Detective was one of them. Most left.C’est la vie.Easy come, easy go. There were so many otherthemsout there to meet and lose.
This was why Molly had once told me it was okay to pray for people to come into your life, but it was also wise to pray for people and thingsnot meant to beto be removed.
Back to the point…I felt like I had to mentally shackle my feet to the floor to keep from running to him.
He felt…safe.
Safe.
When nothing in life was safe. That was something I’d always believed in.
Shit. I was fucking losing it.
Bye bye, birdie, you’re gone.
It had to be the overwhelming developments as of late making me feel this way. I was lost in a world that had its own set of rules, and I was clinging to the first warm body who had showed some interest in me.
Yeah.
