He was a poor excuse for a husband and a father—a man.
I called Luci on my way out and recited all the shit that had gone through my head while I was stuck in the same room with him. It turned into a shouting match, which hadn’t happened since before our mom left. We were usually passive aggressive with each other, and we knew it.
Not this time.
“Why the fuck do you even care, Lucila? What makes him so special? What has he ever done for us? Nothing!”
“Are you going to let me get a word in? Because if not, I’m just going to hang up.”
“Oh, who’s the one running now?” I shouted, and because people were staring at me, I asked them what the fuck they were looking at.
Lucila the Perfect thought I was just like our mom, always running from responsibilities and commitments, but Luci had always gotten her shit twisted. She felt bad for Sonny and made excuses for him because he stuck around. Like her. But what good did his staying ever do for us? It was the equivalent of a pity fuck!
She sighed. “One day, you’re going to feel really bad about this conversation.”
“Why is that? And don’t youdaretell me it’s because something might happen to you in childbirth—”
“AVA! Why would I say that? That has nothing to do with any of this!”
“What does it have to do with then?”
“Sonny,our dad, and what the fuck you don’t know!”
“Enlighten me then.”
“No. I don’t think I will.”
“Because you know whatever excuse you’ve come up with to make him seem less like a loser won’t be good enough.”
“That’s not it at all. You’re not there yet. You still need to come to terms with the fact that the world doesn’t owe Ava Girardishit. Was our childhood the best? Not by a long shot, but the truth is the truth. Until you stop playing the blame game, you’re not going to believe it. And evenifyou do, by some miracle, you’ll come up with something to twist it.”
“HA” was all I got out in response. She hung up on me.
“Fucking Sonny!” I went to slam my palms against the doors to open them, but they were automatic, and I ended up looking like I needed my mental status evaluated. I stopped outside of the hospital, fuming, torn between calling her back and kicking something. I decided on neither. I was going back to Vice City to do…whatever.
The world outside of its doors had gone off the rails.
Neil trying to get me to commit to a rent-controlled apartmentanda senior dog.
Aren bringing me to the hospital because…family first.
My sister going off on me.
Did these people even know me? Or was the moon in retrograde or something? I didn’t even believe in that kind of stuff, but I was starting to wonder. The world hadn’t felt straight since Tigran had been killed.
I sighed, closed my eyes, and touched my phone to my forehead.
At least at Vice City I had stability. Everyone had a job to do, but because of the nature of our business, it always felt new and fresh. And I could count on Edna being Edna. She never changed.
A sharp urgency to get back to my safe place forced my eyes open. I turned and looked at the hospital, but no fucking way was I going back in there to find Aren for a ride. He might start to lecture me on not knowing the value of a moment until it was gone or something. I felt for him, because I loved my siblings too, but Sonny was totally different. I didn’t want to have that conversation with him, though.
Lucky for me, a cab was waiting in front of the hospital. When the driver noticed me waiting, he pulled up and I got in.
It only took a second, but I knew it was a big mistake.
A warning pulsated on the cellular level of my being. My gut was screaming at me to run.
I couldn’t, though. He had his foot pressed to the gas and he was already dodging traffic.
