A grin came to my face as I swiped a tear from my cheek and moved to the next shelf. His old-man music. Posters for some of those vintage bands were done in miniature size and framed.
I realized I was going backward. The shelves seemed placed in order of years, maybe.
The top shelf proudly displayed a bunch of porcelain animal figurines. An entire set made for a baby’s room. Made years and years and years before any of the posters or race cars.
My hand trembled as I reached out to gently touch them. The scene was a carnival. Happy little animals in the seats of a Ferris wheel. It went around and around, music tinkling, reminding me of a music box.
More animals were below and above.
An elephant held a blue balloon in its trunk. A tiger with a scarf around his neck flew an airplane. A hippo wore a tutu, holding pink cotton candy. Two giraffes were in a hot-air balloon. A lion cub stood with his pink nose proudly in the air, a ruffled collar around his neck, like he was a little gentleman.
I picked up the one next to the lion, examining it more closely. A black wolf with its head upturned, a blue butterfly resting on its nose. He was enchanted by it.
“Classic caveman behavior,” I whispered. “Always distracted by fluttering or bright things.”
“Those bring back a lot of memories.”
My eyes stayed glued to the figure for a second before I turned to find Mari standing in the doorway of the room. She nodded to the delicate thing in my hands.
“Capo bought them for me for Saverio’s room.” She grinned, but it was forced, the sadness darkening the truth behind it. “I had no idea how he felt about me being pregnant. After I told him, he kissed me but said nothing.”
“He loves Saverio,” I said, no hint of doubt in my voice.
“More than his own life,” she said. “He’s loved me like that my entire life, too. All of us.”
I nodded. “Rio is a lot like him.”
“Always ten steps ahead.” She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. It almost seemed like she needed to do something with her hands, like she was fighting the urge to fidget. “I didn’t know how to read my husband back then, but looking back now, I see clearly what his reaction meant. He wanted Saverio more than he’d wanted anything in his life.”
Our eyes met.
“Saverio looks at you like that.”
“How do I look at him?” I asked.
We might as well be honest. I could tell we were both on edge. A few doors down, another woman sat in an anxious hell, too. Mamma. And if she was anxious…I struggled to take a breath.
“You love him, but you’ve always been afraid of it,” she said. “Afraid of what that kind of love could do to you.”
“True,” I said, refusing to sugarcoat anything. “But you have it twisted. I wasn’t afraid of love, so much as I was afraid of what this world could do to it.”
She studied my face, maybe gauging my truthfulness. “Hesitation kills.”
“No hesitation,” I said. “When I said yes, it was final. Forever. Always.Per sempre.I refuse to even think about being apart from him, even in death. He’s claimed my love, and I’ll always follow it.”
She visibly relaxed, like she’d been holding her breath since the day he was born. Maybe she realized, or finally accepted, there was another woman in the world who came close to loving him as much as she did. She would sacrifice her life for him. I would, too.
She opened her arms for me. I went into them, hugging her back, the black wolf pressed against both of our hearts.
Another set of arms wrapped around us. “It’s so good to have a sister!” Evelina said, smiling at us. “Breaks up the pissing and wrestling matches from time to time.”
Mari shook her head and said she was going to check on the food and mamma. I snatched Evelina by the arm before she could disappear on me. Ever since the night atS’envoyer en l’air(what a fucking name:I am horny), she’d purposely dodged any talk of business. When I’d brought up something about it the night Carlo and Greta made an appearance, she’d flung Carlo in my path and told me we needed sugar.
My nerves were too exposed, though, and if I didn’t do something, my heart felt like it was going to explode from my chest.
She looked down at my hand. “I might enjoy having a sister, but I only know how to respond to brothers.” She cracked her knuckles, trying to be intimidating.
I rolled my eyes. “You don’t scare me. I grew up with four of my own. You want totousle? Let’s,Princess.”
