“This is not normal,” I whispered. “What exists between us. I knew it the moment—the moment I met you. Even as a kid. There was a pull to be near you that’s…hard for me to even explain in words. Except…maybe a magnet? A magnetized compass that always points in the right direction. If I try to go the wrong way, it doesn’t let me. It hurts—the pulling. I can’t stand to be away from you, even when we’re close.
“Uncle Tito told me something once. Someone told him years ago that distance should never be measured by anything but desire. How bad you want something. How much it hurts when it’s too far away. How good it feels when it’s within reach. You. Saverio Macchiavello. You are the thing that measures my distance.”
His hold on my face became tighter. I felt it then. The tremble beneath his skin.
“Understand what I’m trying to say here?”
He didn’t say anything.
The radio played low in the background. I could hear a few cars below. A tepid wind blew, chilling my overheated skin. I shivered and his hands came to my arms, rubbing up and down. He removed his shirt and slid it over my head.
Our eyes connected.
“Say something,” I whispered.
“You told me that you loved me.”
I exploded with laughter. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you, but bigger! Much bigger.” I set my hands against his chest, feeling his heart race underneath my palm.
“How much,” he said. “Tell me how much.”
I sighed. “Only my heart knows. Only Godcanknow.”
He pulled me to him so tightly that I didn’t have a chance to take a breath. He started kissing me all over my face, big, Italian smooches that made noises in the night. I laughed even harder, trying to kiss him back.
We probably looked like two fools pecking at each other.
No chains.
That felt so fucking good.
He sighed after he let me go, his eyes catching on his phone. It must have fallen to the floor. With one arm wrapped around me, he kept me close while he grabbed it.
“Matteo,” he said. “Everyone.”
“What about them?”
“Blowing up my phone. They’re worried.”
“Oh,” I said. “We didn’t tell them we were stopping.”
“Yeah.” He typed something out, then sent it.
With the one word, chains rattled in my ears.
Even though I had them, I never felt like it when he was close. Still. I wanted this freedom with him more than I wanted a life.
Saverio kept one hand on the wheel and one around me. He wouldn’t even let me move back to my seat. He kept me directly next to him. Fused at the hip. I rested my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes.
“Mia.” My name. Whispered. In that way again.
“Hmm?”
“You are that thing for me, too,moglie. You measure my distance. But this is that thing.” He pounded his chest with my hand. The spot right over his heart. He kissed the top of my head. “Ti amo.”
“Ti amo.”
I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder, determined.
