“I choose this. I choose you. Ben Dalton can go fuck himself, and so can anyone else who says what exists between us is a fatal flaw. I don’t know why I took the out before,ifI even did, but I have no out now. This is done. I’m with you. Ride or die.Cavalca o muori. There’s no fear when death comes, I know—but this, losing whatever this is between us, scares me more than the idea of taking my last breath in this garden. Your veins are imprinted on my body; my heart is beating in your chest. People have sacrificed their lives for much less than what exists between us.”
He turned and faced me but didn’t say anything. There it was again. That hesitation. Thatmemorythat existed between us that he wanted me to remember, but that I couldn’t. Trying to reach it was like trying to climb over these walls to freedom. Heart about to burst, palms slippery with sweat, almost always there but never close enough.
“Come,” he said in Italian, holding out his arm for me. “You need to eat.”
I weaved my arm through his, walking beside him as we made our way out.
18
Rosalia
Iwas pretty sure Aniello was the equivalent of a phantom at Club D.
After he insisted that I eat—he had the head chef make me a salad and then sat with me in the sad girl’s garden while I ate—he spent the entire night showing me all the hidden passageways in Club D. It was almost its own city between the walls and underneath the structure. Even the gardens had secrets, including places that connected to the underground city.
None made me grin as much as the one he showed me in the Hamartia Garden. If they ever succeeded in locking me in, I had a way out. He’d made sure of it.
When I’d asked him if anyone else knew, he shook his head. “The boss knows this place in and out, but not as well as I do,” he said.
Aniello Assanti, I’d learned, had an eidetic memory. He had discovered every hideout and secret passageway, and he remembered each one like it was nothing but a letter of the alphabet to recite.
If they took me anywhere but the Hamartia Garden, I’d be screwed. He was so close, smelling so good in the night air, and my heart seemed intent on remembering the moments with him, instead of my mind being on what he was trying to teach me.
As my shift was about to come to an end, he pulled me into another thicket, setting my back against a tree. His hand slipped into my hair, pulling a little, while his thumb stroked my bottom lip. His grip on me was always firm, even if his touch was light. “I can’t guarantee they won’t take you somewhere else,” he said. “Somewhere other than the Hamartia Garden.”
“If you’re not here,” I whispered.
He nodded once. “If I’m not here.”
He didn’t have to say anything else. There were no guarantees in this life. Even Aniello Assanti couldn’t predict what was to come, though he’d done a fine job of preparing for the future as much as he could, with what he knew.
“Se muori, io muoio,” I said, stroking his hand, gazing into his eyes. It was hard to meet his stare, much less hold it, but I was determined to get him to understand. This life meant nothing to me without him in it.
He translated my words.“If you die, I die.”
I nodded, hoping I’d said the words with as much conviction as he did before, after my accident.
There was still a gap between us that I couldn’t bridge, though. Our entire relationship seemed based on where we were headed, but an entire lifetime felt like it was missing between us: where we’d been, even though it hadn’t been that long.
He searched my eyes as if he could read my mind through them. It seemed like he was going to speak, but after a moment, he kissed me and then led me out of the thicket and back to Club D.
As we separated before entering the building, he did something that made me stop in my tracks. He stuck his tongue out at me and then disappeared. I laughed a little, a smile lingering on my face, until I walked into the locker room to grab my things, and a bunch of lethal eyes turned on me.
My smile turned into a frown when I took in the room.
It looked like a thief had come in and ransacked the place. Every locker was open. Clothes were strewn all over, as were numerous personal items. It even smelled like the perfume bar in a department store, but one hyped up on drugs. Glass was shattered all over the floor, the fragrant liquid that had been inside running in all different directions.
My face heated when I realized what had happened.
Aniello had been the thief, but he hadn’t been out to steal anything.
He’d been looking for me.
I turned to leave, not wanting to have to deal with the looks, but ran into his chest on my way out.
“Get your things,” he said calmly.
Narrowing my eyes at him, my cheeks felt as hot as hell. No wonder they’d “Carried” my ass. It was so apparent that helikedme.
