She snorted. “When the gloves come out, it’s not play time. Whatever this is, we’ll probably be seeing it on the news or reading it on our phones. But I forgot. I’m not talking to you.”
We both became quiet. The soft melody played in the background, and it stirred feelings in me that made me feel moodier than the night. From the very beginning, the song felt melancholy. If I could hear loneliness and recognize its voice, it was speaking to me through this tune. The singer was a man who vowed to always wait for the woman he loved. Wherever. Whatever. No matter how long or how far the distance. He’d always be right there waiting for her.
It made goosebumps rise on my arms.
The song finished, leaving me feeling…lost. I wanted to hop out of the car and find Aniello, because even just the thought of him made me feel like I was home.
It wasn’t all Aniello. My heart was heavy because of Cilla too. I didn’t want her to be mad at me. I had no clue what I’d done to make her so upset. Except when I offered Aniello a piece of my grilled cheese.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought of what Aniello had told me in Italian earlier.
“A woman’s bed is like her kitchen. A man tries to take a bite before she’s ready to share, she has every right to beat the fuck out of him.”
Inviting someone into your kitchen, offering them food made from the heart, meant that you cared enough to take care of them. The same when you covered someone with a blanket while they slept, worried they would get cold. Or inviting a man into your bed—it should mean something.
It should be an olive branch of trust being offered.
Maybe Cilla didn’t want Aniello to think she cared for him. Because she felt he didn’t care enough about her to stop what was going on. Then again, she knew the rules of this life as well as I did. It wasn’t as simple as sayingno.Then again, sometimes when you felt utterly alone, rules made no difference. You only wanted someone, anyone, to make it better.
“I think I understand why you’re mad at me.”
She didn’t say anything, so I continued.
“Maybe I’m a terrible person, Cilla. I found out some things…things I hadn’t remembered. So maybe I’m just not a good friend. But I want to be. There’s no place in my heart that would ever want to see you hurt. So, if I hurt you, it wasn’t on purpose.”
“I’m actually just mad…” She blew out a heavy breath. “At the world. Not really at you. Not even really at the monster who went into that club. You can’t lose me,amica.”
“You can’t lose me,” I said, smiling at her through the mirror.
She grinned at me, then she wiped her eyes, even though she wasn’t crying. “You have to tell me what you found out.”
After a heavy breath left my mouth, I told her what Aniello had told me.
“They fuckingCARRIEDyou?” She punched the window hard enough to make Bambina sit up, her ears perked. “Like that chick did to the other girl in that movie we watched?”
“Yeah,” I said. “But maybe I deserved it.”
“Fuck you did! Candle, or Assanti, may be a lot of things, but a bullshitter isn’t one of them. Haven’t you noticed he has no sense of humor?” She did the robot. “That’s all he is sometimes.” She acted like she was pulling strings on a puppet. “That sometimes, too. They all are. Hell. We all are in this life. There’s always someone bigger than us who controls what we do. But I’m getting off subject. If you were a bitch, flat out, he’d tell you.”
“He likes me.”
“He likes peaches, and he still eats them,” she said.
Devours them.My cheeks flushed when I remembered. “That’s totally different.”
“Maybe so. But Candle seems like the kind of man who likes ’em a little dirty, know what I mean? He’d probably rather you be a dirty bitch. He’s used to dealing with those. That other girl didn’t like you because she knew.She knew Candle wasobsessedwith you—notlikedyou. She was obsessed with him and was fucking jealous that he wouldn’t risk his neck for her. Then her ticket out of that hellhole wants you instead. It sent her over the edge, and she and her groupies decided to treat the nice girl—whoreallyis nice—worse than shit. TheyCARRIEDyou because they were jealous! Greedy to have everything you have!”
Maybe her calling in life was to be an author. Or she was just too intuitive for her own good. So was I. But where she announced her feelings to the world, I hid them in the darkness inside of me.
“Have you read that in a novel before?” I said, trying to lighten the mood, because she was really pissed.
“They couldn’t even pull something original,” she said, ignoring me. “Damn.Too bad you don’t have telekinesis!”
I was starting to worry about her blood pressure. She was shouting and her face was bright red in the neon glow of the strip club. I was regretting bringing it up. I only did because I wondered if Aniello was sugar coating the situation for me. But she was right. He’d never done it before. He was telling me the truth. Still. I appreciated her anger on my behalf, but I wondered what the hell happened earlier to make her so mad. Her emotions were all over the place.
My mouth was halfway open to ask when a loud knock came at my window. Before I could tell her not to, Cilla rolled hers down. The guy was of average height and weight, but his face was scary, especially since he seemed overly pissed.
Bambina moved from the back seat to my lap as he moved from my window to Cilla’s.
