“You did it because you wanted security,” I snapped at him. “You knew that he’d want me gone. He loves you, as much as a man in that life can. He thought of you as a son. And if he took me out of the picture, he would still have you. But you wanted to make sure you severed all ties in the worst way possible. You made this personal by touchinghiswife, Club D, the only thing he ever truly loved besides you.”
“You remember,” he said.
“The thoughts are just there,” I said, “so I’m not sure if I’m remembering the relationship between you and him, or if I pieced it all together from things you’ve told me.”
He watched me for a moment before he spoke. “He had his great love. I have mine. We both made decisions based upon our boundaries. Where we go from here—therestwill decide.”
He was so fucking calm when he spoke that it was almost eerie. I was still rumbling around like warning thunder.
“You’re so calm it’s almost scary, Niello,” I said.
“Who I am in that world is not who I am in this one, with you.”
The words hung in the air between us, and after I nodded, he continued.
“I don’t get anxious. It’s a waste of time. Worry never changes the outcome of a situation. Actions do. I’m a man of action. If anyone should be concerned, it’s the men who have ill intentions when it comes to me and mine.”
Our eyes held for a second before my mind went in another direction. “The day we were in the Hamartia Garden, when we overheard Big Bismo’s conversation.” I paused and he nodded, acknowledging the memory. “You said you were too good, and they wanted you gone. If your boss feels, or felt, you’re like a son to him, why would he want you gone?”
“The man who runs the family my boss belongs to wants me gone. I was too valuable at that point to even attempt it, because of what Boy started with his New York crew when he double-crossed those men. But the only one who could come after me with any chance at success is The Boss. Even though he’s only a part of the family, he’s a powerful part of it.”
“What about Boy?”
“What about him?”
“Is he…any good?”
“He’s good at finding people. He’s a good butcher.”
Giving a little punch, I tried to expel some of the nervous energy. “Thanks for describing every nightmare I’ve ever had.”
He grinned at me. Fucking grinned.
“What are you grinning at?”
“You,” he said, putting his book aside, coming to stand across from me in the kitchen. “You’re…” He studied my face for a second. “Becoming you again.” He punched the air like I had. “You make me laugh.”
He said it in a way that made me feel like I was able to cure an ailment he had suffered with his entire life—one that no one else could heal.
“Are you laughingatme orwithme? Because that makes a difference.”
“Depends,” he said, “on whether you’re laughingwithme or not.”
I shoved against his chest when he started to herd me toward the counter, but he kept pushing me until I was trapped in his arms with the sink at my back.
“You’re so literal with me, Niello. It’s not normal.” I paused. “Except for a few minutes ago when you said they fucked with your heart. That was metaphorically speaking.”
“Nah,” he said, looking down at me, his eyes hooded. “That was the most literal statement that has ever left my mouth.”
I stuck my tongue out at him and he caught it between his teeth. My body softened at once, and that live wire felt like it was inching its way closer and closer to me, water puddling at my feet from my want.
He let me go before I was ready. “That’s what I wanted to do to you that day—the day you stuck your tongue out at me at Club Desolation.”
“Did you see me then?”
“I’ve always seen you,” he said.
“No. I mean—did you seeme? Did you think I was coming back then?”
