Maybe what I thought was love was actually obsession. He wanted what everyone told him he couldn’t have.
“He thinks he can do whatever he wants. Whenever he wants.”
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with him knowing he had a family waiting for him somewhere. I knew what it felt like to have to share him before. Not with another woman, but with the organization.
Even when a man was married in the life, the life came first. Even a wife was considered a mistress to obligations, to his blood vow.
I would never be able to get past this.
It all suddenly made sense. So many pieces clicked into place at once, like the sound of a prison gate closing with me behind it.
Why Ginevra ripped the baby from my arms. She didn’t want her husband’s mistress holding her child. After really pulling the memory of Little Lina’s face forward, I realized she looked like Aniello, even if there were some differences.
A noise of distress came from my chest when I realized how fucked up this all was. I was willing to die for this man, and he couldn’t even be honest with me. He manipulated my memories by not telling me the truth. He warmed my heart and then twisted it to fithim.
In that moment, it felt as if the warmth had turned hot, and my heart melted in my chest.
Aniello said he had a plan. What was I going to do? The future didn’t matter.
I needed to run then. To escape.
A second later I had my chance.
Aniello came out of the darkness like a man who was a part of it. Paul didn’t even have time to react. Aniello’s hand went to his neck as their bodies moved toward a wall. Paul’s head slammed against it as Aniello squeezed his throat. I could see Aniello’s mouth moving.
I’d never forget the look on his face. He was the most frightening thing I’d ever seen.
Quentin and Abe jumped up and ran toward the scene. Other than a few gasps and a few glances, mostly everyone looked away, though.
No one wanted any part of that fucking nightmare. And I went to him like a naive child to the monster under her bed.
Except this time, instead of running to him, I bolted from my seat. Someone pulled my hand, stopping me.
Simone said four words that would forever be branded on my soul. “You make him human.”
If that was true, why did he do what he did?
I wasn’t sure Aniello Assanti knew what it meant to be human. Or what it meant to love. He kept close to his heart memories of a mamma who tried to teach him, but if she couldn’t make a dent in his armor, how could I?
Simone didn’t stop me again after I squeezed her hand and ran, but like all good monsters do, he caught me.
* * *
I hadn’t seenor heard him until he caught me in the parking lot of the club. His grip on my arms was firm, and his pupils were dilated.
How close passion and anger were. It was the same look and feeling he had when he fucked me, like he was consumed by the thought of having and losing me.
It was never blue that I felt from him but red. Ravaging flames. The fire in the depths of his eyes usually gave him a touch of human. Because like a fire can ravage or warm, he could too. But the blue glow of the club made him seem almost inhuman. It washed him out and made him seem as cold as his stare when it was turned on the rest of the world.
Indifference from him was purgatory for me. And I wanted out—I demanded either heaven or hell.
“Let me go,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper, but there was no doubt he’d heard me.
His grip on my arms grew tighter, but it was the hold his eyes had on me that I had to fight to free myself from the most.
“You always run,” he said. “Why don’t you try standing your ground for once.” Then he let me go.
Taking a step back from him, I crossed my arms. I had to keep my heart from falling out of my chest at his feet. “I can’t be sure,” I said, my voice even, though his betrayal was the equivalent of physical pain to me. “Because I can’t remember, but I’m pretty sure I always run because of you.Youmake me run.”
