He was all mine too.
I stared at him as he stared back, and I felt the tide of emotions drown me. Tears streaked down my cheeks, falling on to him, one by one.
“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” Scarlett’s voice floated between us, sleepy, but so fulfilled.
I nodded. “I’ve seen three wonders of this world. You. My daughter. And now my son.”
He made a low noise, almost a grunt, at the sound of her voice. I stood up, handing him over, watching with fascination as he latched on and began to eat. I took a seat next to them on the bed, and the three of us got comfortable.
“I dreamt of the four of us while I slept,” she said.
“Is that what you’d call it? I think it was more along the lines of resting your eyes.”
She studied me for a second, then turned her eyes down. “We were taking a walk in a park,” she whispered, watching him while he ate, her finger stroking his forehead in soft caresses. “A beautiful dream.”
“Was this park in England?” I grinned.
“Maybe.” She looked up at me and offered me her lips.
I kissed her softly. “Thank you,” I whispered. “For giving me a life to love.”
“You’re welcome,” she whispered back. “Is he all you thought he’d be?”
“Even more.” I reached out a hand and touched him too. His hair was as soft as silk. “I’m so proud of you, my baby. You are the strongest woman I know.”
“I am a very lucky woman.” She turned back to him. “Now I have three of you to love.” She looked at me as tears fell from her eyes. “I love youso much,Brando.”
Matteo had fallen asleep after eating, and she hugged him closer. From experience, I knew that, after Mia’s birth, she’d experienced a spectrum of emotions.
Doing what she had done for me many times before, I soaked a facecloth in cool water, running it along her flushed skin. She had given birth no more than two hours ago—she had gone through battle for us both, and I couldn’t seem to look away from her. She was more beautiful than she’d ever been.
She held her hand over mine. “Do you think—” She rested her face against his. “Do you think our first Matteo—would have looked like him?”
The thought had occurred to me too. With it, a fathomless sadness, what we knew we’d missed out on and what our first son had missed out on—life.
This Matteo, though, would be worthy of the name. He’d give meaning to a senseless loss.
“Yeah,” I said. “I do, baby. Give him here.”
She handed him over. Though I knew she was strong enough, she needed sleep, and I had an unexplainable need to count his fingers and toes again.
“Dormire, mia moglie.” I pulled her closer. She rested her head against me, her hand over Matteo. “Sleep. We’ll stay close.”
The light from our two Matteo’s seemed to light up her face, an internal glow that not even her skin could hide.
In my own darkness, I could see the dawn of a new day.
Part II
37
Brando
“The days feel long, but the years are short. Time’ll trick you if you don’t catch on.”
That was the advice Gabriel Roberts had given me after Mia was born.
I held it close. Scarlett did too.
