Un po 'di lei. Un po 'di lui. Sarà sempre. Protetto in cielo.
A little of her. A little of him. Always will be. Protected in heaven.
Her hair seemed almost black, wet from rain, and her skin seemed exceptionally pale. Her eyes in contrast were evergreen, and her bones too fragile. She had wasted away to almost nothing, her collarbone protruding too far out, every arch of rib countable, including the knuckles of her hand and her wrist bones. I hadn’t seen her smile in four months. I went to touch her, to take her hand, but she hid them behind her back. Water ran down her face like tears.
“Let me be,” she said quietly, blinking at the placard.
“Nemmeno quando sarò morto,”I said as I stepped away from her, standing in the shadows.Not even when I’m dead.
It wasn’t until later, who knows how long, that I heard the crack in my ears, felt the blow of it split my skull, before red rage bled before my eyes, as she allowed Rocco to take her by the shoulders, leading her away.
Chapter Sixteen
Scarlett
Buzzing, it started off pleasant to begin with. The sound of it seemed to float through the depths with me. It was submerged and sounded watered-down, and after a little time, I recognized it for what it was. Sounds of the house—one voice communicating with another in soft murmurs. Then the buzzing became urgent, sharper, though the voices became quieter.
This peeked my interest. Why were they whispering but doing it with sharp tongues?
By now, I had learned how to kick toward the surface, though kicking might have been a stretch. I mostly floated until consciousness snapped me above the line and my eyes opened.
Humming. The humming that stayed with me below was there, flooding out the buzzing. Distance had come between us, so much distance, yet the humming never wavered. It was there no matter how hard I swam away from it, whispering,I’m here—I’ll never leave you—I’m letting you float in the abyss now, but not for much longer—you are all I have—where I go, you go—where you go, I go.
The humming heated my blood enough that I felt hot.Dangerous, the word came to me. Did I feel dangerous? No. It wasn’t me.
“Wha—What’s going on?” I fully came above, into the arms of despair. The humming—dear God—the humming was a whirling storm.
“All will be fine,bella,” Rocco said, but I could hear the truth within the placating tone.
Rocco stood by the door with Uncle Tito. Violet sat at the edge of the bed.
“Do not smooth this over!” Uncle Tito hissed.
What time is it?Judging by the light, afternoon. The sun spilled through the windows in warm, golden streams.What had I done earlier?My hands were full of mud—oh, the box, the placard.
Matteo.
Where is his father?
“Brando?” I said, his name holding the question. “Where is he?”
The room became silent, as it does when no one wants to speak of news that needs to be broken. I sat up too fast. My head spun, my equilibrium off kilter. Closing my eyes, I breathed in and out, in and out, for a few minutes before I spoke again.
“Violet? Where is he?”
“Scarlett—” She said my name as though she held her hands out to me in a comforting gesture.
“Tell me, dammit!”
“In the dance studio,” she said in a rush. “Remember when you left with Ace? Worse. Much, much worse.”
I nodded, my heart picking up speed. She didn’t have to say another word. Lifting myself, I forced one foot in front of the other. I would hold on to whatever would lead me to him, even if it took me an hour to get there.
“Let me help you,” Violet said, taking my hand.
I swayed a few times, holding onto the railing of the stairs on the descent down. The house became quiet as I moved, as though I were a ghost. I briefly wondered if Ihaddied.Am I stuck here?No, I told myself firmly. If I were dead, I wouldn’t feel so much pain.Would I?
Eunice, Maggie Beautiful, and Aunt Lola sat at the table, close together, crying. My mother sat further down, her face blank, but she wore worry well. My father stood against the counter, staring out of the window.
