On my heels.
Gaining.
Closer. Closer.
Not fast enough for me.
I leapt, becoming airborne, and I couldn't help but feel how graceful I was, like a doe gliding over air, or a ribbon lost to it. I hit water with a sharp splash. Immediately, I was swept away, consumed, thrust back and forth, rocked, until I began to spin.
The spin cycle. Whoosh. Whoosh.
I sighed and then smiled. Hands tickled my feet. But the smile turned into a frown because the tickle turned into pain and I couldn't move away—the hands came around my ankles, the hold too tight.
I was drug under, the hands too powerful against me. I tried to kick but couldn't. Momentarily seized with a cold fear, I fought against it, but then relaxed, surrendering.
It was quite peaceful. Especially that insistent deep humming that lived belowmysurface. The water moved in a way that helped me dance to it.
Back and forth. Swaying. Whoosh. Whoosh.
A connection to life, to love, a buzz high, the afterglow—that was what the humming was.
The hands were back, tugging, pushing. A struggle. A crack inside of my skull, and I clung to the sound, because it was hollow and I could fit. Then I melted into the warm arms of the sea.
I spluttered, coughed, slammed palms against rough wood. Rain. Rain splattered hard against my face. Sharp like pellets. The look of it coming down almost like warm snow—but that made no sense. Perhaps diamonds?
The beast with the wild eyes knelt beside me, dripping water and breathing heavy.
I tried to open my mouth to speak but my lungs burned. When I could finally manage, my voice came out in a sandpaper croak. “Am I out of their wilderness?”I was lost, too far from my own wilderness, where he protects me.“Am I free from them?”
The beast refused to answer. Fear gripped my heart, sending me into a deep, silent panic. I seized the beast’s hand, squeezing as hard as I could manage. I asked again.
The gruff noise that came from his throat was actually the wordyeah.
“Am I clean?”
He refused to answer again.
I squeezed even harder. “Please.Am I clean?Am I?”
The beast’s empty hand came to my head, stroking. So warm that I almost sighed.
“Yeah, baby, you are.”
I rested with a deep sigh. “Amen.” I took the cross around my neck between my fingers, holding on tight. “Can you bring me to my husband now? He'll be worried.”
Chapter Sixteen
Brando
She gazed above, like she did when she was lost to the stars. Her fingers held tight to the cross around her neck. Blood ran from her hairline, over her temple, disappearing with the wash of the rain. Before I could get to her, the waves had thrashed her around, and she was thrown into a rock.
A line of men rested on the wooden pier, all soaked and trying to catch their breaths. One, two, three, four…I took inventory until every man was accounted for.
I turned her head to me gently, and her eyes found mine—wide and dilated. She had no idea who I was, or who she was. My wife existed inside of her mind, trapped with whatever thoughts she summoned.
A few of the men started to rise, coming closer to check on her. I held my hand up. Whatever she was imagining when she jumped over the ledge came from a concentrated place of fear. The water was dark and dangerous, the tide almost too strong for a man to fight through. Only a soul with no alternative would have taken the leap.
Am I free from them?she had said.Am I clean?
