“I protected myself at all costs. Protected the world from another him. Another me. Protected the child I’ll never have from me and the name I carry.”
I groaned.What am I going to do? Better yet, what ishegoing to do when he finds out?
I’d have to ease into it and not just spring it on him, such as telling him in the car on the way home. “Oh, look what the doctor gave me today! A picture of our baby!”
Yes, I said to myself, rinsing my mouth and splashing water on my face. Ease him into the news.
A bang on the door made me jump, and the picture flew out of my hand.
“Scarlett. Open the door.”
I snatched the picture up, feeling overly protective of our secret, stashing it in my purse. I took a step back when he loomed in the doorway, eyes intense. Did he know? Did one of the nurses tell him? Oh God…
I plastered a smile on my face, though my knees felt weak. “Ready?”
He shook his head. “Tell me what happened.”
“Nothing!”Too loud, Scarlett, bring it down a notch.I almost groaned again.How am I going to do this?“Just a checkup, like I said. It took a little longer than expected.”
His eyes moved over the bathroom, hovered around the counter, and then stalled on the sink. “You were sick.”
I wrinkled my nose. “You don’t need to know everything. There are some things better left unsaid.”
“No,” he said. “Not with us.”
We stood there, staring at each other, until someone asked to use the restroom. The only reason he moved was because the woman had to be nine months pregnant and he was probably afraid she’d pop.
Silence followed us out to the car. We were halfway home when the words came to me. “Do you think it’s easier to die knowing you had children? Or a child? That a part of you will still live on?”
If the question caught him off guard, he didn’t show it. He didn’t even look at me.
“This is about Mick.”
“Yes.” I bit my lip, tapping at my purse, hearing again the wonderful sound of life beating in my womb. I wanted him to hear it, too. My heart ached for it more than anything. “And no.”
“No,” he said without a second thought. “Not for me. I’d be concerned about what I’d be leaving the world. I’m not cut out to be a father.”
“It’s—I mean, a child would be a piece of us. Our love.”
“We don’t need a child to prove that.”
“No, we don’t. Still. It would be nice, wouldn’t it?” I realized that I was handling him with kid gloves, my attempt to ease him into the news. “A legacy to leave behind. A little bit of you and a little bit of me.”
Dear God, let the baby have a lot of him, whether he wants it or not. He’s too beautiful not to live on in the smile of this child. I’ll make sure this baby smiles.
He lapsed into silence, and we each became lost to our own thoughts. I had no idea where his were, but I couldn’t help remembering the moment that would forever change the course of our lives.
Positive. The doctor was positive. It was true. I was going to have a baby. Brando Fausti’s baby. Realization washed over me as unearthly as the light angels dance in.
My hand went to my stomach, an ember keeping me warm, making me feel as though I was weightless but so rooted. The feeling grew stronger the closer we came to Snow Street.
Our house seemed exceptionally welcoming today, bathed in soft light, actually euphoric, as though it somehow knew and was relishing the news.
A baby.
I couldn’t help the small smile that came to my face. Despite his feelings, perhaps he could get used to the idea. Though the pregnancy wasn’t intentional, this child was not unwelcome. Not in my heart.
Brando turned to me after shutting off the car. “No, Scarlett.” His eyes met mine, no guard, sharp as the truth. His voice was even but no less piercing. “I can’t. And I won’t.”
