He stood with a sigh, taking out the lining of the wastebasket, putting another in, even though it wasn’t dirty. I got the feeling he thought that I would want that anyway.Clean.
We both said nothing for a while. Then he took the lipstick from the counter and told me to keep still. He studied my lips before he applied the nude color. His hands seemed too big to hold the small case, but I couldn’t even put into words how safe I felt in that moment, how I could breathe just knowing his heart was close to mine, and that my heart was sheltered by his flesh, blood, and bone.
“You were watching me?” I put my hand over his to stop him. I didn’t need anymore.
He placed the lipstick on the counter, hardly making a sound, but he kept my hand on his arm, placing his on top of it. He nodded once in reply to my question.
“Non posso smettere di guardarti.” He cleared his throat. “Vedo cose che non voglio vedere. Ancora.”I cannot stop looking at you. I see things I do not want to see. Again.
“You mean after Elliott? Matteo?”
He nodded. “Mi hai ricordato di un fantasma.”You reminded me of a ghost.
“Brando.” I squeezed his arm. “You weren’t around then. After Elliott.”
I had known Brando all of my life, but I hadn’t recognized him the night we met. He had been absent from my life, with me traveling for dance and him leading a life my parents didn’t approve of. We connected on the eleventh of December. My brother and his friends were killed in the wee hours of the morning on the twelfth of December.
After that, I thought I’d never see Brando Piero Fausti again. He was absent from my life until one night he appeared at a party some kids were having along the train tracks.
He grinned, and the sight of it almost broke my heart. “I was there, Scarlett. I waited in the shadows. At the cemetery, if you were there, I was there. I even went to the school a couple of times—” He stopped, not able to say the words that completed the thought, but we both knew. He had Mick watching out for me. “From the moment I knew you were mine, I watched out for you. I never left you. You might’ve felt alone, but it’s always been the two of us.”
My head fell to his chest, a mind of its own. I was almost too weak to stand, but I didn’t want him to worry, or cause him an ounce more of grief. The burdens he carried were beginning to bring him to his knees. I wanted him to know that I was already there, praying for the strength that would give him the power to rise.
“You’re still here with me,” I whispered. I clutched the cross, rubbing it between my fingers, offering silent thanks. “You’ve always given me strength.”
He apologized so low that it almost went unheard. I looked up at him and saw the hurt in his eyes. He usually hid it from me.
“What are you apologizing for,mio angelo?”
“For not being able to dress you when you were too weak to lift your arms. For not being able to do your lips when you couldn’t even lift your head. For not being able to carry you wherever you needed to go.”
“You did,” I whispered. “You still do.”
“Il mio amore custodisce il mio cuore e l'anima con i suoi.” He kissed the top of my head, burying his nose in my hair.My love protects my heart and soul with her own.
I took his hands and placed them along my ribs. “And my love shelters my heart and soul with his body,” I whispered.
“Time for me to help you,” he said, after we had stood in the stillness of the moment for as long as possible.
We couldn’t be late. Not today.
I nodded and then became wordless as he helped me into black stockings, helped me slip into the black dress and pumps. Our hands entwined after, my trembling one in his made of stone.
Just before we got to our door, I stopped him.
“Rimani vicino a me, mio marito.”
He stared at me with eyes that could see clear through me—to the deepest depths of secrecy. He understood the words held a double meaning.Stay close to me, my husband.
And the words that didn’t have to be spoken.Today and always. Don’t let this take you from me. And don’t leave me alone. I’m terrified of what I know will come next.
His lifted our hands, putting the combination to his heart, as though the action alone could stop his heart from falling out, pressing so hard that I felt my wedding rings cut into the soft flesh of my finger. Then he kissed my hand and led me out of the room.
Guido, Lou, Nino, and Vincenzo stood when we entered the front room, the three men nodding at us, solemn as the day. A knock came at the door.
Guido answered it, a rush of cold air entering along with bright sunlight, and the forms of Romeo and Juliette, followed by Dario and Carmen, then Rocco and Rosaria. Uncle Tito and Aunt Lola stood out on the porch, her hand on his back, the old doctor peering at the sky, hat to his heart.
Maggie Beautiful came out of the room she was staying in, stopping when she came face to face with the crowd of people.
