He turned away from me, nodding toward the road. He wanted me to drive. I looked in my rearview mirror and noticed a car behind me. Nicodemo was in the driver’s seat, and Uncle Tito sat next to him. The two men who came with Corrado—the American who looked like a chipmunk and the Italian with the never-ending serious look on his face—were in the backseat.
“I gave myself up to you,” he said, his face still forward. “That’s all the assurance you need that my word is good, but if not …” He glanced in the mirror.
I had my answer. He knew I trusted Nicodemo and Uncle Tito.
“Your sister sent them,” he said.
Ah, yes, she was looking out for me. The moment I sawloscorpione, my mind started floating in the clouds, not grounded by reality, and she knew that.
I started the van, and we drove in silence for over an hour. It was only two from Bronte to Modica.
“Tell me why you did it,” he said.
I glanced at him. He was staring at my face. He had been doing that periodically during the drive, but since I did not meet his eyes, it did not bother me as much.
“I have done many things,” I said. “Just this morning—too many to count.”
“Why you cut his balls off.”
My hands strangled the steering wheel. “How much do you know about me?” I said.
“Enough,” he said. “But not nearly enough.”
I nodded. “I was born in Forza d’Agrò, where most of myfamigliastill live,but when I was eight and Anna was six, ourpapàtook us to America to find better opportunities. He got a job with a fruit market, and we lived with his brother and wife, with a few cousins, until we were able to afford an apartment of our own.Mammagot a job working at the same place.”
A car swerved in front of me and I lifted my hand, yelling at the driver, before I shook my head and continued.
“We lived in New York for eight years before we got a call that ournonnawas sick.Mammahad been homesick for a while. She wanted to go back. We did. Afternonnadied,papàandmammatook over the restaurant.We ran it as afamiglia.
“One day an American man came in with some men, and he noticed me. He came every day for a week, using the little Sicilian he had to speak to me. He was nice enough, at first, but there was nothing about him that drew my eye. The more he came in, the more I kept my distance.”
Mammastarted to take his order instead, but he would get impatient and demand that I serve him. Then one day he went topapàand said that he knew how things were done in Italy, and he wanted to marry me.Papàtold him no.” I sighed.
“No is usually a universal word, but he could not understand it. He pushed and pushed. Then one day when I was walking home, he said that Ihadto marry him, or hisfamigliain America would come after mine. I was young and scared and agreed to it. He did not want me to tellpapàandmammauntil after.”
“You’re still married to him,” he said.
I shook my head. “I wasnevermarried to the bull.” I ran a hand along my neck, leaving it in the crook. “He was not fluent in Sicilian or Italian, and I told the priest that he was forcing me. That hisfamigliain America were powerful. I asked him not to truly bind me to him, as a mercy. I would have to give my body, but I refused anything else.”
I glanced atloscorpione, and his eyes moved me to finish.
“The bull does not ask. He steals. And he hurt me. He beat me…when I said I was not ready for him.” I swallowed down acid in my throat at the thought of him. “He behaves like an animal, so he was treated as one. The place he rented for us to live was an old farm. It had the rusty old shears. I hid them next to the bed, in case he tried to hurt me. He did. I used them.”
“You’ve been hiding ever since.”
“Sì.” I nodded, lifting my hands from the steering wheel for a second. “The men with him were staying in another part of the villa for the night. After he screamed, I had a few seconds to run. I ran in the darkness by the light of the moon.
“A woman a few miles away hid me after I told her I was running for my life. She brought me home, and I have been on the run ever since. His men came looking for me the next day, after they found him and got him help. Then it was other men, scarier men.”
“You’re fortunate,” he said, “that they didn’t use your parents to lure you out.”
“They tried,” I said, reaching for the cross against my chest. “Butpapàmade a deal with some men after they started threatening mymammawhen they could not scare him.He made an arrangement with afamigliathat does not care for the men who come here from America.”
“You’re the deal.”
“Not at first. It was just money. But now I am to be married by October.” I shrugged. “Right before you arrived, two men came to Bronte looking for me. They found Anna. That was when I agreed to the arrangement. I will no longer have to hide, and myfamigliawill be safe. But there is something stopping it.Papàwill not tell anyone what it is. He will not allow the man to meet me, either, before he agrees to this condition.”
I could feel his eyes on my face. “Is it worth it?”
