“The wedding,” I repeated after her, knowing it was do or die. “There’s no need to plan anything right now, Mam. See. The thing is.” Deep breath. “We’re married. We got married in a church!” I rushed out, so she wouldn’t have a heart attack or combust on the spot. “We couldn’t wait. Maybe we can have a reception later. To celebrate.”
“You’re married,” she repeated. She’d heard me, but she wanted me to repeat it again. To torture me.
“I’m married,” I said. “The deal is sealed. But we’re keeping it a secret right now.”
“From Mari?” she said, her voice both suspicious and lethal. Neither one bothered me. It was the guilt trip she was going to take me on that I dreaded.
“Yeah,” I said. “Especially from Mari.”
I hated how she always brought Mari up first. To make sure Mari didn’t know what she did. I didn’t want Mari to know, for my own reasons, so it was best if my mam thought she had the upper hand. I’d tell Mari when I was ready.
“My only living daughter. Married without her Mam there to see it.” She sniffed, and I resigned myself to the infamous words coming next. The ones that ate at me like acid.
I mouthed the words as she said them: “Roisin wouldn’t have done this to me.” A second later, she hung up.
I stared at the phone for a second before I stuck it my pocket. A pressure came from my other hand, and I realized that Connolly was watching me, and holding my hand a little tighter.
* * *
After my costume fitting,I decided on a designer boutique in Manhattan to find a dress for the event. I’d never stepped foot in such an exclusive place, but as soon as I did, one of the salesgirls rushed to help me.
“I have an event tonight,” I said to her as she looked me over from head to toe. Maybe trying to guess my size. “Formal. Something in green.” Then I gave her my size. I didn’t have time to play that game. They either had my size or they didn’t. If they didn’t, I’d take my ass to a store that catered to all builds and give them my business.
The salesgirl nodded and said, “I have just the number.”
I felt Connolly’s eyes on me, and I looked at her and winked. Even though my mam’s guilt ate at me, having Connolly around somehow felt like a buffer. I was eager for her to get more comfortable around me. Maybe so she would talk again. She didn’t seem as rigid as she had been at the party. She seemed relaxed, though still quiet.
She did roll her eyes at Raff a couple of times, which made me grin. He was a little goofy around her, making kid-appropriate jokes.
Connolly stood with Raff while I tried on the dress. From the moment I slipped it on, I knew it was the one. Emerald, just like I had requested, and sheer, but with a layer of beading. The fit was a size too small, and it had a sexy slit up to my thigh. They say red will knock a man dead, but in this dress, I swore that I’d knock a few beats into that heart Kelly supposedly didn’t have.
Connolly’s eyes lit up when I walked out and showed it to her, so that was that.
As I browsed the shelves searching for a matching pair of heels, Connolly sat in a chair while Raff stood next to me. His back was to the wall, his arms crossed, his eyes moving with me.
“You’re trying to kill my cuz with that dress.”
I glanced at him before I picked up a pair of gold heels. “Or steal his heart, at the very least.”
He laughed. “Molly and me have a bet going.”
“Yeah.” I put the heels down. “I hope your bet is on me, or you’re on the losing side.”
“That’s why I bet on you,” he said. “You’re fucking crazy enough to think you can, so you probably will, Jessica Rabbit.”
I quirked my eyebrow up at him.
He waved at my head. “Your hair. It’s red.”
“Really?” I feigned being shocked. “Someone give me a mirror! When did this happen?”
He laughed and we both turned to look at Connolly, to check on her. Instead of watching us, she was watching as the salesgirls hustled around the shop.
I nodded toward her. “What’s the story?”
Raff stared at her a moment before he turned to me. “Her father was killed selling drugs to the wrong people. Her mother died after having her half-brother—who is in the NICU right now. He was born too early and is in withdrawal. Maureen agreed to adopt him so they would always know each other.” He chucked his chin toward Connolly. “She’s been promised the stars, little Connolly O’Connell, but all she gets is the darkness.”
I realized when her eyes met mine that I was staring at her. Tears blurred my world, but I turned without her seeing. I wiped my eyes before they could fall.
