“You can say that. It’s been a while since the Old Man and I had a chat.”
“It’s cathartic sometimes.”
“Must be the same reason you come to see Roisin.”
For the first time in sixteen years, I felt a sense of warmth settle over me, and I shivered when it clashed with the cold. I’d never felt anything but chilled to the bone when I came here, but in that second, my blood heated, even if only for a second. I motioned to his hand again. “I might need a drink first before we get into that.”
He lifted the whiskey bottle, set the two glasses on Roisin’s tombstone, and poured a glass. He offered it to me, but I shook my head. “It doesn’t seem right,” I said. “She was only five.”
He gave a curt nod before he threw back the whiskey. His throat worked with the fire assuredly moving down his tongue. “I’ve always been the devil,” he said.
It took me a moment to make sense of his comment. “Your twin was the angel—”
“Yeah,” he said. “It’s all good, though. The old man had the best of both worlds. He had two different sides to consider before he made final decisions.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “That you lost your brother and your dad.”
“Life,” he said. “It’s the most unpredictable thing, but most still try to control it.”
“It’s a wild animal,” I said, and meant it. “Sometimes it’s better to let it run wild.”
“You let life run you?” It didn’t really seem like a question.
“No,” I said automatically. “I’m a fighter.”
“Knew it,” he said, and then the corner of his mouth turned up into a semblance of a smile. It was a grin that was as cocky as it was charming—a fucking winner that stole my breath.
“Unless it comes to death,” I said, refusing to stop the conversation because he had somehow gotten underneath my skin, like the cold, for a brief second. “How can you beat death when it holds all the cards?”
“Hundreds beat diseases every day.”
“Those are fights worth taking on. But I think we all need a certain amount of grace, too. Grace to let go of things we no longer have control over. Let it run wild. Because when we do—” I shrugged “—sometimes we run to a better place.”
“Remember that,” he muttered. Then he seemed to study me a bit harder. “Tell me about Roisin.”
I turned to look at her space, seeing a picture of me on her grave, though it wasn’t me. We only shared the same reflection. “Like I said, car accident. I had thrown a fit about her getting the lead in some Broadway show. I threw such a fit that I held my breath and passed out. It was the first time I’d ever done something like that. So my grandparents offered to take Roisin so she wouldn’t be late. My parents took me to the emergency room because they thought something was really, really wrong with me. I was diagnosed with a temper tantrum. None of us made it to her show that night. They were hit on the way.”
“Half of you died with her, and nothing’s been the same ever since.”
“It’s almost unexplainable to someone who doesn’t share that kind of bond. You understand.” I looked up at him, and even though I expected it, it still shocked me—his eyes had softened some. Then, in an instant, they hardened. They were so hard that it almost felt like he was stoning me with his thoughts.
I opened and closed my hands, feeling uneasy all of a sudden. Cold. Warm. Cold. Warm. I had thought it was the weather, and maybe having someone to share this moment with, but I came to the conclusion that it was him. He was sending me weird vibes.
“I gotta run now, Mr. Kelly. Have a nice chat with your old man.”
“Ms. Ryan,” he said, tipping his hat, watching me as I left.
I hustled to get out of there, feeling out of breath by the time I reached my old car. Something about the way he said my name led me to believe that in his mind he was actually thinking,Take care, Ms. Ryan. I’ll see you soon.
How the fuck was he going to see me soon when he didn’t even know me? I hit the gas harder than I ever had before, my old car wheezing with complaint, trying to outrun his memory, but even after I got home, I still felt like he was watching me. He was as beautiful as he was threatening.
He’ll get an arrow in his ass before he comes close to me or mine.
Then another thought slammed into me, harder than anything ever had before, and I had to sit down and catch my breath.
Why would Roisin send someone likehimtome?
3
