I set the decorative four-leaf clover in the box, resting my hand against her shoulder. It was tense. Sierra had no family, like me, and all that she had left behind went to Keely. It took a lot out of her to make decisions for a woman that no one truly knew. Not even Keely.
“I agree,” I said. “There was something about her that made me feel…heavier, too. It’s hard to explain.”
Keely stared at her tea, a distant look in her eyes. “Maybe her new start was just about to happen. Maybe her darkness was about to get lighter. The job she was telling me about. She never got to go to the interview. The dress is still on her bed.”
“Do you know what that was all about?”
I hadn’t told Keely what I’d done or what had happened. I still had no clue what the job was or what it had entailed. After I got home that night, Keely was asleep, and I tiptoed into Sierra’s room and put everything just as Sierra had left it. I had my extra set of clothes stashed in my bag, so I changed in the car in case Keely was up waiting for me. I hadn’t looked in Sierra’s room since.
“No,” Keely said. “But I got the feeling she thought the job wasitfor her. She wasn’t going to have to struggle anymore. I have no idea what kind of job brings that much security, but she was certain of it.”
Certain.I got that feeling, too. Whateverthe bosshad in store for one of those girls, she’d never have to work again. I still couldn’t figure it out, though. What would be worth that much to him, or to anyone?
“Hey,” Keely said, squeezing my hand. “Let’s talk about something else. You never told me what you did the other day. You were gone a while. Did you go looking for another job?”
The first time I left her alone was to take a trip back to Macchiavello’s. I sat against the wall again, coloring, waiting to see if the man in the suit would show up. It was stupid, so, so stupid, but something about him inspired trust. With all of the problems building around me, it felt good to see someone who really seemed to have their shit together. He seemed so capable. Like he would know what to do in any situation. He would have the answers to any problem that plagued him.
My waiting wasn’t in vain. He showed up about an hour after I did, looking as cool and as fine as ever. Maybe it was my imagination, but as soon as he stepped out of his expensive car, his face turned toward mine like he knew I’d been waiting for him.
We stared at each other until I decided to do what I’d come to do. I unzipped my bag, took out the ice pack, lifted it up, and then set it along the wall. Then I turned and left.
I swore to myself that I wouldn’t go back. I had issues, issues that wouldn’t be solved by waiting around a restaurant that catered only to the rich. Staring at some unavailable (to me) millionaire in a fine suit was not going to solve anything.
The urge to tell Keely everything that had happened surged up in me. I felt guilty about using Sierra’s dress, her perfume, her shoes, her invitation to the mysterious side of The Club, and not telling Keely that I had.
I wanted to tell her about the guy in the suit. I wanted to tell her that no matter if Harrison loved me or not, I had never felt anything toward him except brotherly love. Compared to what I’d felt over the last couple of days—for the guy in the suit and theboss— I knew how different my feelings for Harrison were. Platonic. Nothing more.
Keely was all I had in the world, and I hoped she’d understand the reasons behind what I’d done. I hoped that she’d be able to hear the truth behind all of my feelings.
It was time to purge the demons and come clean.
I squeezed her hand and then took a seat next to her. Staring at her cup of tea, I said, “I need to tell you something.”
The words seemed to tumble from my mouth. I started with the guy in the suit, then went into what happened the night Sierra died. I told her every detail about The Club. Then I gave her a second before I ended it with my feelings about her brother.
I couldn’t read her face, and when the silence became too much, I whispered, “Say something.”
“You didn’t tell mesomething,” she said. “You told methings. Lots and lots of things.”
“I was holding in a lot,” I said.
“You think?” She shook her head. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I shrugged, picking at my broken nail. “I didn’t want to disappoint you. I basically stole a dead girl’s clothes, shoes, and perfume, and pretended to be her. If I failed, which I did, it seemed like such a low blow. A final blow. You would’ve told me not to go. That whatever Sierra was going to do was not worth it. But it was. Itwas. For me. And now…I…I’m still not sure what I’m going to do, Kee.”
“She was a waitress at The Club,” Keely said. “Sierra. That’s where she worked. And the guy who owns it is not an ordinary citizen, Mari. He’s rich, like multi-millionaire status, or more. He’s reclusive. But the shit she would sometimes talk about, the people who frequented the place, like the Faustis, made me understand that it was more than just a club.
“So you’re damn right. I would have told you not to go. What were you thinking? What if he would have sold you to the highest bidder? Or…used you for some kind of weird sexual fantasy? You don’t belong there, Mari! I don’t want you there. You deserve more from life than to be bought. You deserve a man who’d never put a dollar amount on you because no amount of money in the world would be enough! You deserve a man who doesn’t think he deserves you!”
“I didn’t get the job, Kee!” I stood, not able to sit. “I failed at that, too! I couldn’t even sell my body. I’m worthless! I can’t keep a job. I can’t even stay in school! So I took a chance. It was mylastchance. And I failed at that, too! My nose or my fucking mouth! I got smart with him at the end.”
“Good!” she shouted. “The bastard should be told off! He was probably there to buy a woman for the night!”
“No.” I shook my head. “I got the feeling this was different. This was for the long run.For good.”
“What does that even mean?”
I shrugged, not sure how to explain it.Living for the rest of my life instead of merely surviving, for starters.
