For a moment, no one knows what to do. Michael opens his mouth, clearly wanting to argue. Cormac’s brothers look at each other and rise, leaving the room. Michael is still seated and his cousin Wallace finally speaks.
“Come on. We’re going.”
Cat watches her brother’s hands tighten into fists. “Go with Wallace.” He looks from Wallace to her with anguish before slowly standing and leaving the room.
The silence drags on for a minute before I snarl, “The answer is fecking no. Not ever. You’re mad to say it. Do ye have a martyr complex? How many times will ye put yourself in harm’s way before you’re finally killed?”
She takes a deep breath, holding it for a moment. “I want to yell at ye, tell ye that you’re projecting - which ye are - and that I’m not the only one in this room throwing themselves into harm’s way. Constantly.”
“This isdifferent!”I thunder.
I’ve never raised my voice to Cat. Shouted instructions, aye. Never in a fury, though. Never angry.
“Because it’s me.” She smiles sadly, scooting her chair closer and taking one of my hands, curled into a fist, gently unfolding each finger until our hands are linked together. “If ye could make this antidote, would ye go? Would ye let Dubois take ye?”
I evade her question. “Ye nearly died once.” I look down at our hands, hers smooth and pale. There’s a little burn on her left thumb from an experiment gone wrong. I remember taking herto the doctor to get it cared for. My hands are dark and calloused, scars on my knuckles from skin splitting open as I’d fight one battle after another.
“Aye. Dubois will take ye happily. He will force ye to finish the antidote. Then…” My fingers tighten and I force myself to relax. “What comes next, Cat? If I canna get to ye in time, what comes next? Torture, or mutilation? A long death where you’re grateful for the end?”
“I know you’re scared, sweetheart,” she says. “The worst of all things, for ye. The unknown. Allowing your asset to be in harm’s way.” A low groan rips from my chest. “Look at me, please?” I force myself to meet her teary-eyed gaze. “If I dinnae do this, a lot of people will die. I will never forgive myself for knowing I could have stopped it.”
“Would ye rather me knowing for the rest of my useless existence that I could have stopped ye from this genuinely insane move and yedied,Cat?”My head drops, fury and hate and bone searing terror all fighting to get through the barriers I’d built for so long. The ones that kept me in control.
Cat strokes my hands for a moment, gentle touches while I force my breathing to slow.
“The only way this will work is if ye are my husband, and not my bodyguard. Ye will haveto have faith in my ability to handle the worst,” she says gently. “There’s no one better than ye in tracking me. You’re the man who brought in a team of only ten and kicked the collective arses of over a hundred of Dubois’ men and ye found me. Ye have the might of my family and the talents of your men.
“Believe me, I dinnae want to go. I just found ye again. I’m terrified that this is all the time I’ll have with ye. But there is no other way.”
Our hands are tightly clasped together. We’re still wearing the simple wedding rings I bought in the bazaar that day.
“No.” I choke out. I stand up. “No.”
I leave the room.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
In which Lucas accepts the inevitable.
Catriona…
Lucas walked away from me.
Again.
I place my hands flat on the boardroom table, staring at the polished surface, the elegant swirl in the wood grain.
I dinnae scream or cry. I dinnae melt down. That’s not who I am.
I’ll… make a plan.
Multiple MacTavishes are standing in the waiting area outside the boardroom, looking at me with varying degrees of caution and empathy as I walk out. I notice Mum and Da and the uncles are elsewhere.
Possibly killing my husband.
This leaves me with my siblings and cousins.
“Well, that went well, dinnae ye think?” Duncanasks brightly.
