“No, not evil. LeeVille,a corporate partner in my new computer server venture,” I corrected.
“Actually, Leevil is far more accurate,” Fee said. “I didn’t knowthere was a bigger despoiler of the environment than your buddy here.” She nodded to me. “But Lee Ville, that shit-shoveling bastard son of a bitch, just drained a hundred and ten acres of protected wetlands in Wales for a parking lot and a big box store. Did he run out of endangered species to annihilate over in the States?”
The rest of the MacTavish brothers looked just as entertained by Fee as my former best friend.
“And why areyouall here?” I snapped.
“We’re here as backup,” Cameron, the second eldest said. “Like it or not, we’re still brothers.”
Fee glanced between me and the others, a little frown wrinkling her forehead.
“This family reunion is mighty touching,” Fintan had gathered his wits, “but there are body parts scattered all over my farm and Noreen is nudgin’ at that one’s intestines.” The black goat looked up at us, her snout bloody.
“Oh, don’t worry.” It was Martin, clutching his soil samples and staring at what was left of his family’s farm. “She’s just checking to see if he is edible. Goats don’t eat human flesh.”
“Should we worry about Noreen?” Alastair asked.
“Everybody should worry about Noreen,” Fee said, nudging the goat away from the body.
Martin was turning in little, agitated circles. “Why are these bodies here? Who are these people, then? I was just checking the alkaline level in the north field. When- how did thishappen?”
“Oh, we can clean up the bodies,” Lachlan offered. “Do ya have a pig pen? Ya throw a dead man in with a hungry hog and there’s nothing’s left but teeth and toenails.”
Martin stared at him for a moment before vomitingup his lunch.
“This doesn’t make sense. Why would Leevil want to kill you?” Alastair asked. “Wouldn’t that terminate your joint business deal?”
“There’s no proof he intended to kill me,” I said. We were all crowded in the tiny kitchen, where Martin busied himself with taping up the broken window panes and making tea after changing his soiled shirt. I’d reluctantly introduced the MacTavish brothers, Cormac, Cameron, Dougal, and Lachlan to Fee and the men. “This could be the most pitiful rescue attempt in recent history, or something else. And stop calling him that. It’s Lee Ville.”
“My men have already removed the bodies,” Cormac said, “and spent a fair amount of time chasing your goats and chickens back into their pens. They need to be rebuilt after that kind of damage.”
“I’ll patch ‘em up,” Fintan said stiffly. “I don’t need your help.”
“You’re not going to have time,” I said. “You’re all coming with me.”
“Oh no, we are not!”
“Look around, old man. Your farm is shot to hell and whatever those men were planning, they didn’t achieve it. Whoever’s behind this will be back, with more soldiers and more destructive firepower. As much as Dougal there is appreciating your World War Two era shotguns-”
Dougal looked up from where he’d been holding one, examining the walnut stock. “This is a grand piece, Fintan, a rare vintage find. I dinna suppose ya would sell it to me? I’m a bit of a collector.”
“Ya have an entire floor in your building dedicated to your armory, ya nutter!” Cormac scolded him. “There’s enough firepower there to put a hole in the planet.”
“That’s not true,” Dougal said a bit defensively. “I keep the surface-to-air missiles at the estate’s gun range.”
His older brother sighed, as if this was a long-standing argument that would end with a great deal of bluster and no useful outcome.
“Back to the key point here, gentleman,” I interrupted, “the farm is not safe. You, Cassidy family, are not safe. You do not have the firepower or the security force to handle the storm that’s about to bear down on you like a category five hurricane. And although you deserve it for being foolish enough to kidnap me, I can’t let it happen to you.”
Fee looks at her father, who is studiously pouring tea for everyone and nattering about the honey from the farm’s beehives, and Fintan, who’s torn between outrage and concern.
Finally, the old man sighed, glaring at me balefully. “I knew ya were too much trouble. Fee shoulda dropped ya into the Irish Sea on the way over here.”
“You seemed quite happy to shackle me like a prisoner on death row,” I countered. “Nonetheless, I’m willing to overlook this deeply egregious behavior. While you and Fee -especiallyFee - made a foolish mistake, you don’t deserve the death they will certainly give you if you’re caught.”
“Yeah,” Lachlan said between bites of honeycake, “ya do not feck with the mafia, mate. Now Alec here, ya really dinna know who he was?”
Fee closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose. “I thought he was just another rich crit devoted to paving over every last square of forest left in the UK. There was never a hint of hislessdespicable side.”
