Chapter One
In which we ponder: is it a cage if you’re the one holding the door closed?
Sorcha…
The MacTavish family mansion is massive; fifteen bedrooms, twenty bathrooms, two living rooms, and a kitchen bigger and better equipped than any five-star restaurant. It’s a grand place, built of stone in the Georgian style. It sits on twenty-two square kilometers of pristine land just outside of Glasgow. Even as the city grows and creeps around the edges of my family’s estate, it remains untouched.
There are high stone walls and reinforced iron gates. Guards patrol the grounds and live on-site in a smaller house behind the main one. My father once joked that we have better security than Buckingham Palace, and I believe it.
I know all these things because I have walked every step of it. Every room in our four-story house, every millimeter of the gardens. I run the perimeter every day and part of me screams to stop being a mouse and get out of my cage.
But I’m the one holding the cage door closed.
***
“Mornin’ Miss Sorcha!” Gavin calls, raising one cautious hand.
“And when will ya’ be calling me Sorcha?” I pant, running past him.
“When your father tells me to,” he says amiably and I laugh. Da’ doesn’t care. This tiresome formality is all the Lady Elspeth and her antiquated vision of How Things Should Be.
I guess my mother didn’t anticipate a nineteen-year-old PTSD agoraphobic wreck like me.
The river comes into view and I pause, rubbing the stitch in my side as I watch the water race past me. It’s a tributary to the River Clyde that runs through Glasgow. I can see the rooftops of the city rise below me and imagine being there, walking down one of the old streets, finding a coffeehouse that serves the perfect latte. Maybe joining some friends at a table by the window as we point out hot guys and share gossip.
Of course, I don’t have any friends. None that aren’t part of the MacTavish Clan, at any rate. My sisters-in-law are godsends, each one instantly accepting me for who I am, never trying to lure me off the estate.
I’ve tried.Of courseI’ve tried. I’ve stood at the gates hundreds of times, touching the black iron bars, and trying to picture walking through them, like a normal human being. I finally stopped when the pitying looks from the guards got to be too much.
Nowadays, I stand on the bank of this river that borders our grounds.
“I could just… wade across then,” I mumble, “there’s a couple of spots where I might have to swim, but…”
So easy. Anyone can do it. Anyone but me.
The sweet smell of Ma’s roses carries by on a gust of wind, and I close my eyes, breathing deeply and savoring the scent. When I open them again, there’s a man.
He’s standing on the other side of the river, wearing black jeans and a dark sweater, speaking into a headset like the ones our security uses. I don’t know this man, though.
“Who are you?” I shout.
His smile is not pleasant, but he spreads out his arms, attempting to look harmless.
That’s complete shite. Backing away from the water, I make the turn heading back to the house when I feel a sting in the back of my neck. Slapping a hand over the spot, I yank out the syringe, the needle sliding from my skin.
No no no no no no no no… please don’t hurt them. I’ll do anything you want…
My terrified chant as a twelve-year-old always circles in the back of my mind, waiting for a chance to rise up, turn my heart into concrete, and freeze the breath in my lungs. It’s out in full force now, screaming in my thoughts as I repeat the words in a whisper.
Stumbling back, I stare at Gavin’s impassive expression. I’ve known him for years.
“Why?” I croak.
“A better offer,Sorcha,”he says, grabbing me around the waist as I bring my elbow back, ready to crush his nose into his face. My arm flops awkwardly instead, nothing more than useless flesh and bone.
“You bash-tard…” I slur between numb lips.
He throws me over his shoulder and starts plowing through the water fast enough to leave a wake. Security. We have cameras everywhere. Someone will see us. Someone will come… My head droops forward and the last thing I see is my hair swirling through the water.
