I felt Aura’s cool little hand touch my spine. “It’s beautiful,” she said gently. “You wanted to love her, it’s written here. And then you did. You burned the letters but they came back anyway.” Now I was the one to feel painfully exposed, crossing my arms over my chest as they all stared in wonder.
“You don’t get to love me!”
It wasn’t exactly what I meant, it wasn’t even what I wanted to say but it burst out in a toxic flood. “You tortured me and used me and- and I was bait! You turned me because those fuckers bled me out!” James was utterly still but it felt like he’d retreated across the meadow from me. “You think badgering me and bossing me around for the last ten years makes up for- for- oh, fuck!” I said despondently, sitting down gracelessly and crushing some little wild daisies.
“No, I don’t,” James agreed, “I never would have burdened you with those words. I can apologize but I can’t even ask for forgiveness. I know that. Watching what Steve and Aura have? I took that from you. When I leave, I hope the letters will go away.” As I angrily scrubbed the pink tears from my eyes, he was gone.
As it happened, the words written by that infuriating, arrogant, beautiful, and oddly penitent man did not go away. Though after the full moon waned the next night, Aura and Steve could no longer read them. I sat on the deck, fingers stroking along the paragraphs of love, and longing.
"I remember the night in the garden when you took off those ridiculous, expensive shoes and walked barefoot in the grass. You were so happy, my lovely girl. It was the first time that I understood how beautiful you were, how precious. That there could be more between us. Not as a captive or a pet. As an equal. A lover. But I managed to wipe that softness away from you the next day, didn't I?"
“Man, he feels like shit, huh?” Aura sat down next to me on the big porch swing, rocking us both back and forth slowly with one foot.
“You know, for a vampire you really haven’t gotten any smoother as a conversationalist,” I noted.
“I know,” she shrugged, unperturbed. “So, Steve thinks the words are there, under your skin like the ones you read on James. That his presence or being back here where you were turned - or maybe both - brought them to the surface. You could read him, now he can read you.”
“Um, you all read me last night, Little Miss Nosypants,” I corrected, rubbing my forehead. Vampires didn’t get headaches, but the mannerisms from my human life didn’t seem to go away.
“Yep,” Aura agreed. There was silence for a moment, just the faint creak of the swing. “So, what are you going to do about this?”
My mouth opened, ready to spew scorn, hurt. “I’m … going to Seattle and trap him in that bigass mansion of his and yell at him for just leaving like that and I’m gonna…. I’m gonna, uh.” I looked at her openly grinning face and just wanted to smack her for being right. “I’m going to tell him I forgive him.” Aura was still grinning, but she raised an inquiring brow. “And that I love him. Too. I love him too. Because apparently, I’m an idiot.”
“Oh, sweetie.” She put her arm around me and rested her head on my shoulder. “Love makes fools of us all.”
It was the first time I’d used the bond between me and my Sire to find him, and it was surprisingly easy. And he was, as I expected, brooding in his home, overlooking the Puget Sound. To my amusement, the door wasn’t even locked, as if there was no one in all of Seattle suicidal enough to break into the fortress of James Barnes.
He was even sitting in front of the fire where he’d spent all those nights looking over press releases and handling paperwork while I sat frozen, waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. But his hands were empty this time, a book open on a table, and James staring into the flames.
“We need to come up with a new nickname,” I drawled, seating myself across from him. “Pet? Yeah, I hate that. Doll? That one sucks, too.”
He was staring at me as if I’d lost my mind and really, that was quite possible.
“I didn’t expect to see you again.”
His expression was still sad and he was getting That Look. God, I hated That Look.
“You know James, there‘s this certain expression men get - human or vampire - that indicates they are about to do the stupidest possible thing. Something that will hurt the person they love deeply, and it’s usually sending that person away. Oh, the man will suffer too. But they will do this stupid thing because, as Aura says, ‘They Know Best and It is For Your Own Good.’”
There was the faintest hint of a smile on his face and I knew James was picturing Aura pronouncing it. Capitalized dramatically.
“The reality is,” I swallowed hard on a suddenly dry throat, another thing I didn’t think vampires would have to deal with. “The reality is, I love you. You stood back, and you let me go. You actually respected my wishes. You still made sure I never went hungry, and I was never really alone because you were looking after me. That - as we know from all of Aura’s books - there can be redemption earned by the most terrible people. That I accept your apology and forgive you. Even a vampire’s life is too short to run away from the person I love.”
The sentence was barely past my lips before I was seated on his lap, James kissing me with a pleasing level of frantic need.
Oh, I’d missed the feeling of his mouth on mine, his plump lips pushing mine apart and his tongue toying and tangling with mine. His hands were just as big as I remembered, holding me by my waist, fingers splayed and spreading from my hips to under my breasts, his thumb brushing gently against one nipple and making my thighs clench as I straddled him. I cupped his cheek, feeling the sharp lines of his jaw and cheekbone, enjoying the bristle of his stubble on my sensitive palm. Pressing his forehead against mine, James took in a deep breath that he really didn’t need.
“Are you sure, love? Are you absolutely certain? It nearly killed me to let you go, I don’t….”
It was James, my formidable, former captor who was fighting back the emotion now, ready to swamp him. Running a finger down his neck, I leaned in and whispered, “There was a time - somewhere in the late 1700s - when you released fifty girls being held in Laurent’s dungeon. You got them to freedom, even as a half-starved, nearly insane bloodsucker. She never knew who did it, not even Volkov figured it out….” I followed the sentence, tracing it gently. “It wasn’t the first time, or the last. You fought against being a monster, even then.” His dark head was between my breasts, and I lightly scratched his scalp, cradling him.
“I can love that man.” I let out a startled squeal as he suddenly stood, swinging me into his arms easily and racing down the wide stairway. “Wait- aren’t we gonna have reunion sex?”
Opening the doors to the little garden, he put me on my feet again. “Not in that bed, we’ll have to get another one. I want to take you here.”
He’d added pieces to his wicker furniture under the pagoda, more lushly padded seating pieces and it came together, looking like a magnificently large bed with soft cashmere throws and plump pillows.
I not-quite leered up at him. “Someone was confident.”
