Oh, my good girl. Good. I know you're starving. Be smart now, look around. Are there birds? Something is close.
Unfortunately for the fox, he was indeed close and I pounced in a blur, grabbing him by his tail and his hind leg and tearing into him with a sob of relief, hearing the couple chatter obliviously as they strolled by. I found enough poor creatures in the park that night to prompt an article in the neighborhood blog about the possibility of Satan worshipers making animal sacrifices.
I knew this because James insisted on telling me later that week when I'd recovered and was exploring Madagascar. I sang as loudly as I could, childishly putting my fingers in my ears - as if that could stop him - ignoring the stares in the marketplace.
I was just soft enough after that experience - just grateful enough to him for keeping me from murdering those poor people - that I stripped in my little hotel room that night and angled to look at my back in the mirror. The words were always there. Shining darkly in his bold script, flowing over my spine and shoulders, caressing the small of my back.
I am not yours, not lost in you,
Not lost, although I long to be
Lost as a candle lit at noon,
Lost as a snowflake in the sea.
You love me, and I find you still
A spirit beautiful and bright,
Yet I am I, who long to be
Lost as a light is lost in light.
Oh plunge me deep in love -- put out
My senses, leave me deaf and blind,
Swept by the tempest of your love,
A taper in a rushing wind.
The words were beautiful. They were heartbreaking. They were the creation of a monster who knew he'd somehow made me love him. James had even said it to me one night, a long time ago. I was sweaty and shuddering from a series of orgasms, his skin cool and smooth.
"If I am all that you have,” James had whispered, “you will love me.”
Over those ten years, I learned to push back somehow, waving off the warnings and concerns, hoping it hurt his undead brain to feel me shove him away. His voice eventually weakened to a whisper. Tired-sounding, like it took everything in him to connect with me when I wasn’t safe.
But his blood still arrived regularly, wherever Ihappened to be, which just pissed me off even more. But I still drank it. I’d asked Steve once how long I’d have to consume my maker’s mandatory cocktails and he’d shrugged with the casual indifference of someone who’d been on this planet for like, a zillion years.
“Oh, just a century or so. Enough to get you on your own two feet.” He’d been surprised by my outrage and fury, but still, I drank it.
Pulling myself back into the present, I arched a brow when a Tesla 2033 pulled up to the curb.
“Kevin?”
He was grinning, brown eyes alight as he came around his stupidly expensive car to give me a hug. “Hey- wow! You look amazing! Gimme a kiss.”
What the hell,I thought, and kissed him. “What are you doing here?”
He was already slinging my luggage into the trunk of his rolling pile of money.
“I ran into Aura on the mountain and she mentioned you were coming into town. I had to beg her to let me come pick you up, but I have no shame anymore.” He opened my door for me with a misty smile. “You look good, babe. Really good.”
Kevin caught me up on the comings and goings in the expensive timber McMansions on the mountaintop. “So Steve said you guys were having a reunion or something? They rebuilt Aura’s burned cabin, but it looks more like a weird prison or a church or something. Smallish. Mean-looking.”
I laughed. “Mean? A building can look mean?”
He shrugged. “This one does.”
