“Shut the fuck up!” I hiss, “This is serious!”
“Wait,” his smile is fading. “This is a good thing, right? All that sexual tension when you two were fighting with each other all the time, it’s gone! I’m hoping you’re going to be a hell of a lot more relaxed because you were so pent-up last year that it’s a miracle you didn’t drown that poor girl in a tidal wave of cum.”
“When did you turn into such an asshole?” I snarl.
“Because someone’s got to get you out of this gloomy Russian shit you’ve got going on right now,” Lucca said unrepentantly. “So, what’s the problem? I know you both wanted this. You could fog up bulletproof glass with the pheromones the two of you were putting out.”
“I…” Fuck, how do I explain something I don’t understand myself? “Because it’s a bad idea.”
Lucca and I had walked through a little circus in County Cork last year and there was a six-legged calf in the sideshow. He’s looking at me right now the way we looked at that calf; squinty and suspicious, like he’s questioning if I’m a figment of his imagination. “Are you fucking high? Because I’m trying to think of any explanation other than you’re dumb as fuck. Was it bad? Did she just lay there like a flounder? Did you finish in sixteen seconds? That was it, wasn’t it, you were a two-pump chump after finally getting her?”
“I think about punching you in the throat a lot,” I said sourly.
“Well then explain it, brother,” Lucca got up and grabbed the vodka bottle, drinking from it before settling back down and offering it to me.
It’s the control,” I said slowly, trying to understand it myself. “I’m losing it. She was… incredible. She’s all I want now. All I can think about. I can’t afford to let…” I stood up, pacing the room. “I talked to her the next morning, I told her we weren’t going to fuck again until after we left the Academy. I sent Ivan out for a morning-after pill in case-”
“You couldn’t wait long enough to get a condom on?” He nearly choked on the mouthful of my expensive booze he’d just gulped as he started laughing. “You’re always the responsible one!Che diavolo,what the hell?”
“Give that bottle, you prick!” I said irritably.
“What is the worst thing that you think can happen here?” Lucca asks, “That you two might be happy?”
Finishing the vodka bottle in three gulps, I stare back at him. “The worst thing? That needing her will make me weak.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not how it works. My Tatiana? She’s made me stronger, my strength when I don’t have any left of my own. Mariya could be the same for you.”
I look away, throwing the bottle as hard as I can, watching it land with a thump in some bushes outside of the Dean’s office.
The sea wind blowing through the room is turning cold as hell, so we stand up, stretch and shut the window, pulling the curtains closed.
“Goodnight,” he slaps my shoulder. “I don’t agree with you, but get some sleep, maybe you’ll be smarter in the morning.”
Mariya…
Tatiana had not only taken my pistachio gelato away and eaten it, but she fetched the other two pints out of the freezer and we’re lying in the rubble of our frozen dairy binge.
“Okay…” she nods. “That was… wow. And how was the…” she makes a vague waving motion like she’s conducting an invisible orchestra.
“The sex? It was amazing.” The chill of the window against my back while Kon was thrusting into me, groaning and holding my head to his shoulder when I bit him… “I mean, it hurt like hell, but… I can’t explain it but I even liked that. He made me come twice before he even got his pants down. The things he can do with his fingers defy all logic and reason.”
“Good,” she nods decisively, even though I know her soul is turning inside out with embarrassment. “At least he took care of you first. So, did you talk afterward?”
“No,” I frown, “he cleaned me up and asked how I felt, just surface chatter. Then we fell asleep and I woke up alone.” My last memory before passing out was his giant paw cupping my pussy, feeling so safe with him curled around me. “Then the son of a bitch has the gall to tell me it’s not happening again until we got married. That it was a mistake. A mistake!”
Tatiana put her arm around me. “Are you sorry you did it?”
“No, I don’t. I hate that now I know what I’ve been missing,” I said, “it felt like it wasfinallymy turn.”
“We know that Kon is an idiot but this is ridiculous,” she said sourly. “I’m dying to talk to Lucca about this tomorrow. You know he and Kon have blathered about this all night. Are you going to be okay, fam?”
“Sure,” I sigh, “Apparently, my love language is self-destruction.”
Chapter Five
In which it is just another first day at school.
Mariya…
