Shescowled at Drogo's back as they rode, letting anger conquer her pain andsadness. He did not even notice how the uncertainty he left her to wallow inwas tormenting her. As long as she welcomed him into her bed, he seemed tothink that nothing was wrong.
Forone brief moment she considered kicking him out of bed and demanding someanswers. It would solve nothing, she decided quickly. It could even end whatlittle she shared with him sooner than it needed to end. The answers he mightgive her could be the wrong ones, forcing her to leave him. There was so littletime left before those harsh decisions would have to be made that she waswilling to wait a little longer. She dreaded the thought of losing even one daybecause she had allowed pride to make her impatient.
Bythe time they returned to their quarters, she had her errant emotions backunder control. Her stomach still full from all the food she had consumed at thewedding, she declined the bread and cheese Drogo offered, undressed, andcrawled into bed. Warm and comfortable beneath the covers, she watched himprepare for bed and decided that he was worth sacrificing some of her pride.
"Imiss Unwin's help," Drogo said as he slipped in beside her and tugged herinto his arms. "I am not sure I understood why he needed to stay in campfor a little while longer."
Eadalaughed. "To gaze longingly at my sister." She met his surprised lookknowingly.
"Unwinwas exchanging glances with Averil?"
"Everytime he could find an excuse to walk by."
"Sheis a little young."
"Thirteen.She will grow. That might not matter. If Unwin's family—"
"Unwin'sfamily had nothing to give him save the armor he wore. They sent him herehoping he could become more than a mercenary or a monk. He has already donethat, having been knighted by William himself when we arrived in London. Ishall have to have a talk with him, however. As you have said, Averil isthirteen and will grow, but not for a few years, and I cannot have himneglecting his duties to exchange glances for that long." He grinned whenshe giggled. "I saw you talking to Brun. How does he fare?"
"Hislimp is gone and a lot of his anger has faded. He is also truly honored thatSerle has offered to train him."
Heshook his head. "I do not even have my lands yet and I have a householdlarger than most lords have."
"Andgrowing every day," she added, fighting down the pain any mention of hispromised lands had begun to cause her.
"Somany babes, yet Ivo and May seem to manage them all well. And even if I can getthem secured somewhere before that number is added to, I am sure they willquickly begin to breed their own." He laughed. "They make a goodmatch. I was worried that Ivo would spend his days alone because he isslow."
"Aman with a heart as full of love and kindness as Ivo's can never bealone."
"True."He pulled her closer, rolling so that she was beneath him. "I think thatis enough talk. I have not been here to see you awake for too manynights."
"Fartoo many nights," she agreed and welcomed his kiss, determined to savor asmuch of their passion as she could before it was torn from her grasp.
Twenty-three
Eadafought the urge to scream and wail, to hurl herself at Drogo's feet and beg forhis love. It was not only her pride that held her back. She knew she would onlydeeply shame them both and gain nothing for it. Her inner voices told her notto worry, that Drogo was her mate, but she did not really trust them. This timethey could be the echoes of her own shattered heart and not the truth. She saton the edge of the bed in their room, her hands clasped tightly together, andwatched Unwin help Drogo dress for his meeting with William, all the whilefighting to keep her emotions subdued, her expression one of calm andacceptance. He had told her that he would do this from the moment they had metand she could not, by word or by deed, condemn him for it now. Especially notwhen he had waited with growing impatience for six weeks since the triumphantarrival in London.
Itdid not help her control her sorrow to think about how happy everyone else wasdespite the bitter sadness of the Saxon defeat. Her mother was with Serle, herfirst love. May was now a free woman and married to Ivo. The way Unwin andAveril looked longingly at each other told Eada that, as soon as her sister wasof age, she and Unwin would marry. That left only her. She would be alone. Soonshe might suffer from the fear and the scorn Old Edith had. The mere thought ofthe loneliness she would have to endure sent chills down her spine.
Somehad tried to soothe her fears by reminding her that she was wellborn andassuring her that, when Drogo got the lands he sought, it did not mean that hewould cast her aside. She knew otherwise. William not only had to reward hisknights but to placate the highborn Saxons he now tried to rule. Already therewas talk of Norman knights marrying Saxon ladies, the kinswomen of Saxons whohad bowed to William or those of the Saxon noblemen whose lands the Normans nowclaimed. It was the quickest, firmest way to bind Saxon and Norman together.There was a good chance that, when Drogo was given his lands, he would beoffered a wife as well. She would not, could not, remain with Drogo if hemarried another.
"Howdo I look?" Drogo asked Eada.
"Likea lord," she replied and forced a smile. "All of William's court willfeel as if they have been lost in the shadows when you walk in."
"Wellsaid," he drawled, grinning briefly over her elaborate flattery.
"Theywere pretty words, were they not?"
Helaughed as he buckled on his sword then grew serious as he looked at her again."And have your voices told you what my future now holds?" He frownedwhen she visibly tensed.
Eadaforced herself to relax. His question had simply startled her, for it was thefirst time he had asked about her sendings and he had done so in such a calm,easy manner that she knew he now fully accepted her strange gift. She thoughtit almost amusing that, after cursing Old Edith's bequest from the moment shehad first realized she had it, she should now regret not hearing anything atall. Drogo wanted some assurance that all would be well, that William wouldgive him a wealthy boon, and that he had finally gained all he had fought for,but her voice was strangely quiet.
"Ifear I have not heard even a whisper for days," she finally replied.
"Donot look so forlorn,cherie," he said, as he stepped over to herand brushed a kiss over her forehead. "Better no word at all than somedark warning."
"True."She trailed her fingers over his cheek. "Watch your back."
