“Why would you ever do such a thing?”
“Because, e’en if he convinces me that all Claud said was a lie—and that will take some time I fear—I couldnae tie him to me anyway. It would be unkind. ’Tis bad enough that I will be marked a whore if the falsity of my marriage becomes widely known. Considering how people look at the MacFingals now, I dinnae think they need such a woman as part of their clan.” She ignored Jolene’s muttered opinion of that as being nonsense. “Also, I am fair certain I am barren.”
Jolene reached across the table to place her hand over Arianna’s clenched hands. “Are you truly certain?”
“I lost a bairn. I had but just realized that I carried one and then it was gone. We did try again but I ne’er quickened again. Then Claud had a physician come in to look at me and that mon said I couldnae carry a child.”
“Yet you did get with child once and I cannot believe miscarrying so early would damage anything. Were you very ill? Bleeding a great deal?”
“Nay, I dinnae think there was anything particularly wrong in the way it happened, only that it happened at all.” Arianna slipped her hands out from beneath Jolene’s and wiped a tear from her cheek. “We did try for a year after I lost my baby but naught happened and, after that full year of trying, there were times Claud would try again, usually after his parents made some remarks about his absence from my bed or the lack of an heir. And Claud gave Marie Anne two fine sons so it wasnae a lack in him.”
Jolene sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “A physician can be wrong. I believe very few of them actually know anything at all about babies and birth and women. They all tend to strongly dislike having anything to do with us. And ’tis not so uncommon for a woman to lose the first child she quickens with. Tell me, how old is the youngest of the two lads?”
“Five, near to six.”
“So for the entire time you were trying to carry this Claud’s child, he was still bedding his mistress and yet she never got with child again?”
Arianna blinked and thought that over for a little while, trying not to let that flicker of hope in her heart grow too large. “I dinnae think so. Do ye think Claud somehow lost his, um, virility?”
“It happens. There are many fevers and such that can steal it. All works as it should but the seed is dead. I should not give up hope of having a child so quickly.”
“The trouble is, Jolene, the only way to be certain I am nay barren is to get with child. It would be best if I do so while married but, if I marry and do prove barren, then I have cheated the mon who married me. Wheesht, I could even be accused of having lied for I would have married him kenning there was a chance I would give him no children.”
“Then perhaps you ought to try without concerning yourself about the marrying part of it all.” Jolene grimaced. “That sounds very devious.”
It did, but the idea stuck in Arianna’s mind as she and Jolene began to talk about their families. It was still there when Brian climbed into bed with her a few hours later and pulled her into his arms. She could not shake free of it, her craving for a child refusing to allow her to give up the idea. Arianna then swore upon her very soul that, if she did find herself carrying Brian’s child, she would not use it to drag him into a marriage he did not want. From what she had heard, the MacFingal clan had no problem at all with having bastard children, and a lot of them. If she was going to test whether she was truly barren or not, there was hardly any better choice than one of the notoriously virile MacFingals.
“We must be back on the horses on the morrow, love,” he said as he removed the chemise she wore and tossed it on the floor.
Arianna grimaced at the thought. “’Tis the last of the journey though, aye?” She slid her hand down his taut stomach, enjoying the smooth warm skin and play of muscle beneath it, actually eager to explore a man’s body for the first time since the embarrassing attempts she had made in the first weeks of her marriage.
“We are done when we reach Scarglas and ye may linger there as long as ye like before going anywhere else.” He hoped she would choose to linger for quite a while before she left to rejoin her family even though he knew it could make parting with her even harder than it would be now.
“Good. I suspect it will be a verra long time before I wish to get back on a horse.”
Brian was about to ask just how long she thought that might be when she curled her long, slender fingers around his erection. He groaned and held her tightly, shifting his hips in a silent plea for her to caress him. When she answered that plea, stroking him, even slipping her hand between his legs to toy with him there, he lost all ability to think.
Arianna was enjoying the power she had over this strong man, surprised at how her touch was affecting him so strongly. She was just wondering what else she could do to keep him groaning and muttering flatteries for a while longer, when he suddenly pushed her onto her back. His lovemaking became fierce, his passion a wild thing that demanded she join in that wildness. When he joined their bodies, there was little gentleness in the way he moved, but she did not care. Her passion easily rose until it equaled his, and she was soon urging him on with her words and her body. The release that tore through her had her crying out his name, clinging to him as if she was falling and he was the only thing she had left to hang on to. When his release came, his seed filling her, he gripped her so tightly she knew there would be a few bruises and she did not care.
Still trembling from the force of the passion they had shared, Arianna opened her eyes and looked at the man sleeping so soundly in her arms. She thought of how often he had spilled his seed inside her and that tiny flicker of hope in her heart grew a little bigger. If there was the slightest chance that she was not barren, then passion as hot and wild as what she shared with Brian had to leave her with child. It would cause a lot of trouble if she ended up back with her clan, with child and no husband, but she did not care. If Brian sent her away, did not wish to keep her, at least she would have a piece of him to cherish. Arianna just hoped that was good enough for, with each moment spent in his arms, she knew she never wanted to let him go.
Chapter 11
“I think ye ought to let me send some men with you.”
Brian sipped his ale and looked at his cousin Sigimor, who was sprawled in his huge chair at the head of the table and rapidly emptying a bowl of sliced apples. “Nay, I told ye last night that isnae necessary. The men were routed, their numbers culled, and some even wounded. If they were still close at hand your men would have found them by now. Arianna and I can slip round them if our trails cross before we get to Scarglas.”
“Wheesht, ye could probably slip right through the midst of their camp while they dine. But, if ye had a few men with ye, ye could at least stop to cut a few throats ere ye flee. Reduce the number of men hunting the lass even more than we did when we chased them out of here. That would be a good thing to do.”
“A fine plan,” Brian said, and shared a grin with his cousin, “but I believe I will hold fast to my own. Every instinct I have says they are all gathering to try and grab those boys. There is also a chance her family may have already arrived there to look for her. We have to get to Scarglas to see what is happening there. Aye, and Arianna needs to be at Scarglas, needs to be back with the lads so that she cannae be taken and used against the boys.”
“I have nay kenned the lass for long but I do ken that she would ne’er betray those lads to save her own life.”
“Nay, she wouldnae, which is a thought that chills me to the bone. Howbeit, if she was held as hostage to get those boys, I think those lads would quickly try to trade themselves for her and naught short of chaining them up would stop them. ’Tis true that I only saw them together for a short time, but e’en though they call her Anna and they have no blood ties, she is their mother.”
He repeated what he had told Sigimor about how he had found her upon the beach, the boys guarding her, and even how they had acted when parted, but this time he stressed how the boys and Arianna had acted toward each other. Then he explained more fully how the Lucettes had treated the boys and Arianna. Brian made no attempt to hide his anger over that, either, and could see that his cousin shared it.
Sigimor nodded. “Aye, ye are correct. In their eyes, she is their mother. ’Tis no surprise. The lads were nay cared for by their true parents nor by those blood-proud fools they should have been able to call family. Only to be expected that the three who were so scorned by all who should have cared for them would join together, make their own wee family. They were all each other had whilst trapped in that keep where no one was kind to them.”
