“Nay. Never. Nor would any of my kinsmen.” Deciding she needed to know it all, that it would help if she fully understood the danger she was in, he continued. “They also want you but nay just to bargain for the laddies.”
“The DeVeaux want a Murray in their grasp?”
“Aye, ye were right to wonder on that. Your kin obviously left them with a fierce need for revenge.”
“I ken it but that doesnae matter. Only Michel and Adelar matter.”
He did not agree with that but said nothing. “What we need to remember is that that idiot Amiel isnae tracking us, he is riding to where he believes we are going. I willnae say that he doesnae get a wee piece of help along the way, but he isnae skilled at the chore he has been given. And, as with the DeVeaux, he does nay like this land nor ken it as I do, as my brothers do. I wish I could shake him off our tail, but I dinnae think I will be able to. Howbeit, I am fair certain that he willnae creep up on us and get you.”
“And the DeVeaux will nay be able to creep up on your brothers and grab one of the boys. Aye?”
“Aye.”
“All this for two boys who will soon be marked as bastards anyway. I just cannae understand why.”
“And may nay ever do so unless we can catch one of them and make him tell us. I would wager, though, that nay all the men riding with Amiel and this Lord Ignace neither ken what they are doing anyway, nor give it much thought. They just do as they are told.”
She nodded. “And men who ride with the DeVeaux ken weel the cost of nay doing as they are told. I am thinking that Amiel is much the same.”
Brian slipped his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face up to his. “The lads are safe, Arianna, and I intend to keep ye safe as weel.”
She knew even before he began to lower his mouth to hers that he was going to kiss her again. Arianna also knew that she should pull away from him now but she did not, could not. Despite her fear and confusion, she had not been able to stop thinking about that kiss they had shared, about how he had tasted and how good it had felt to be held in his arms. At least until her fear had reared its ugly head. This time she was determined to enjoy the kiss and then withdraw with grace and dignity.
Brian brushed his mouth over hers and, when she did not immediately pull away, he quickly deepened the kiss. His desire rose up with a force he had never known before, but he fought to keep it under control. Arianna was not some skilled courtesan or flirtatious, willing widow. He was beginning to realize that, despite her marriage, she was nearly as innocent of what could occur between a man and a woman as any sheltered, well-born maid.
It was not easy to go slowly, however. He wanted her as he had never wanted a woman before. His whole body tautened with the need to be flesh to flesh with her, to be inside her. Brian could sense her desire stirring to match his and that made it even more difficult to tread softly with her.
Arianna shivered as he caressed her waist and hips while holding her close. His kiss grew more passionate, more devouring, and she was soon welcoming that fire. When he slid a hand up from her waist to stroke her breast, she gasped into his mouth as pure delight streaked through her veins. That delight turned to need until she was crawling into his lap, and that was when the fear began to stir within her.
Try as she would, Arianna could not keep her heart and mind fixed only on the pleasure of his kiss, of his touch. She began to think of how thin she was, how small her breasts were, and how lacking she was in the curves a man craved. It was Claud again, whispering in her mind, reminding her of all that she lacked as a woman. And then she began to fear what she felt in Brian’s arms, that it was too much, too soon, and destined to turn to scorn when he realized she was unable to satisfy him as a man needed to be satisfied.
She was not surprised when he cursed as she yanked herself free of him and leapt to her feet. Her hand on her mouth, she stared at him as he looked at her, frowning and dragging a hand through his thick hair. Her hands itched to do the same and she could not understand why that was. She was rapidly beginning to want to do all manner of things to him that she had never once considered doing with the man she had thought was her husband. Or any other man, either.
“I willnae hurt ye, lass,” he said. “Ye but need to say nay and I would release ye without question.”
“I ken it.”
And she did. Her fear was not born of any thought that he might force himself on her. She knew in her heart that he never would. Her fear was born of the fact that she would give in to this desire he stirred within her, one he appeared to share at the moment, only to see that look of disgust Claud had worn every time he had left her bed. Arianna knew that if she saw that look upon Brian’s face, it would tear the heart right out of her.
“Yet ye flee me with a look of fear upon your bonnie face.”
“’Tis nay ye I fear.” This was not going to be easy to explain, perhaps even humiliating, but she knew she owed him some explanation for her strange behavior. “I dinnae wish to disappoint you.”
“How could ye disappoint me? I may nay be the randy fool many of my kin are, but I am nay without some experience. I ken ye feel desire when we kiss, the same desire I do.”
“Aye, but what about after ye try and satisfy that desire? I am nay good at that.”
“How can ye ken that? I am fair sure your husband wasnae verra much of a lover to you,” he began.
“Nay, because I was such a poor bed partner. He would rise from our bed and tell me often what I lacked in the art of pleasing a mon. I couldnae bear to see ye look at me like that, so I think it best if we cease with the kissing and the wanting of more.” She took a quick step back when he surged to his feet and glared at her.
“I am nay that bastard Claud,” he snapped.
“I ken it. But ...”
“Nay. Sit. We will eat and then rest and then continue on our journey.”
She cautiously sat down, watched him pace the little clearing for a moment, and tried not to tense when he sat down beside her. It was clear she had angered him and she was not certain how to soothe that anger. In fact, she wondered if she should. If he remained angry with her there would be no more kisses. The thought of that made her heart ache and she inwardly cursed.
