She cried out with eager welcome when Nigel finally joined their bodies. Wrapping her limbs around him, she greedily met every thrust of his body. The way their voices blended as they found release as one only enhanced the pleasure rushing through her body. Gisele held him close as he collapsed in her arms, and fought to cling to the mind-clouding delight they had just enjoyed. She did not want to think, but as her breathing slowed and her heartbeat returned to its normal pace, she knew she could not lie there drunk with passion and just ignore the world.
Nigel reluctantly eased the intimacy of their embrace. He glanced at Gisele’s small hand as she moved it absently over his chest, then looked at her face. Her gaze was fixed with stubborn firmness on the movement of her hand. Although it was tempting to just make love until they both fell into an exhausted sleep, he knew that now was not the time for that. Neither of them might wish to talk, but they had to. He gently grasped her chin in his hand and turned her face up to his. It was another moment longer before she allowed her gaze to meet his.
“Mayhap I have wooed ye too gently,” he said, “and that has led to naught but confusion.”
She inwardly tensed, wary of what he might say, but calmly replied, “You showed a true skill for the art of wooing.”
“Thank ye, but I clearly wasnae skilled enough to make ye stay with me, was I?”
“I was going to France to clear my name, no more. As I have said, it came to me that I was asking others to face a danger I myself was too cowardly to face.”
“And ye are certain ye werenae running from what my wooing would lead to?”
“I was not sure where that might end,” she said quietly, briefly looking away from his intent gaze. He did not need to know all of the doubts she had suffered from.
“Where all wooing is meant to end—with marriage. Ye left ere I could ask ye to be my wife.”
Her heart skipped so hard it was almost painful, but she found herself not to let false hope and the lingering sweet memory of the passion they had just shared cloud her wits. “Why?”
“Why?” He frowned at her in confusion. “Why what?”
“Why were you going to ask me to be your wife?”
“Lass, ye are supposed to say ‘aye’ or ‘nay,’ not ‘why’.”
“I need to know why before I can say ‘aye’ or ‘nay’. Nigel, until you got the word from France that I was innocent, you still thought me capable of butchering a man.”
“Nay.” He grimaced when she eyed him with a hint of suspicion. “Do ye recall the time I was teaching you how to use a sword, that first time that ye disarmed me and I said that was when ye must strike the death blow?” Gisele slowly nodded. “The way ye looked was enough to tell me that ye hadnae killed your husband. Aye, if ye were in a fight for your life or in a fight for mine, ye could kill, as ye showed me the day I was wounded. But, nay, not coldly and brutally as was done to your husband.”
“You might have told me when you had this revelation.”
“I am sorry, lass. I meant to, but there were a few other things I needed to think on at the time.”
Gisele smiled and lightly caressed his cheek. “I know. Soothing my hurt feelings was of small importance, and I realize I should have been satisfied that you thought me worthy of your protection and help.” She cocked one eyebrow and drawled, “And you have still not answered my question.”
“What we have just shared wasnae answer enough?” When she just frowned, he added, “I asked your family for their blessing, and they have given it. Ye must ken by now that my family would eagerly welcome ye into the clan.”
Nigel was not sure why he was so reluctant to say the words he knew she wanted to hear. He was, he realized, a complete coward. After the hurt he had inflicted upon her by not telling her all about Maldie, he knew he owed Gisele the full truth now. No one deserved the baring of his soul more than Gisele did, but he could not seem to force the words past his lips. He needed some hint from her that his words of love would be welcomed and returned.
Gisele wondered if shaking Nigel vigorously would make the words she sought fall out of his mouth. She was beginning to think that he loved her, or was very close to doing so. His almost embarrassed reluctance to speak of anything but family approval and passion was her strongest hint. Nigel had a true skill with words, could easily convince her that she would be a fool to refuse his proposal, yet never speak of love. He seemed unable to muster that skill at the moment.
That left her with two choices. She could either accept his proposal, allow him to think that talk of passion and family approval was enough for her, or she could hold out until he was forced to say more. She did not have the patience for the latter and the first, she mused, could easily lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness. There was one way to pull the words from him, and that was to make the confession first. It was a gamble. She could be wrong in thinking that his feelings for her were deeper than passion, and it would hurt to speak of love and get no vow in return. Gisele inwardly shrugged. The rest of her life was at stake. It was worth the risk.
“Nigel, I am honored that you would ask me to be your wife. It is certainly pleasing to know that my family as well as your own will approve of the match. I do not believe I need to say that I enjoy the passion we share, and would be more than willing to continue indulging in that pleasure. But, I fear all of that is not enough.”
“I no longer love Maldie. Ye ken that, dinnae ye?”
“I saw that within days after arriving at Donncoill, and it would certainly make a marriage between us go along much more smoothly,” she drawled and smiled faintly, then touched her fingers to his lips when he began to speak. “I must finish this ere I lose the courage to do so. I need more than what you have talked of. I need your heart, Nigel, for you hold mine.”
She watched him carefully, almost afraid to breathe. He looked stunned, but she was not sure if that were a good or a bad thing. When he pulled her into his arms and held her almost too tightly she began to feel a little more secure. There was certainly a lot of emotion revealed in his touch.
“When did ye decide that ye loved me?” he demanded, starting to trace her face with small kisses.
Gisele had to smile. His reaction was all she could have hoped for, except that he still refused to say what she needed to hear. Forcing herself to be patient, she threaded her fingers through his hair and briefly touched a kiss to his mouth.
“I think it may have been when you were wounded. I feel as if it has been there for a long time. Recall that time I ran away and was captured by Vachel?” He nodded. “I ran away from you, from what I suddenly realized I felt for you. There was enough trouble on my plate. I foolishly thought that I could run from that new one, that I could run from what was in my heart.”
“Nay, ’tis hard to do. One cannae deceive it, either. It kens the truth no matter what your poor fevered brain thinks. I thought myself in love with Maldie for so long that I mistrusted every feeling I had for you.”
