“One of us should. Ye are about to ask a lot of your family. Indeed, ye may be pulling them deep into a fight that is none of their doing and from which they gain nothing.”
“Your life isnae nothing,” he said in a soft, solemn voice. “Love, they will want to join this fight, and not simply because I ask it of them or because I have sworn upon my honor that I will protect you. They will help you because it is right to do so. It is wrong for the DeVeaux to hunt you like this, to demand your blood for the life of that bastard ye were forced to marry. Any fool can see that, and I dinnae have any fools in my family. Well, not at this moment.”
She smiled briefly, fleetingly amused by his last words, but then looked straight at him, making no attempt to hide her deep concern. “You must give them the choice. You must tell them the full truth about why I am being hunted.”
“I intend to. It will make no difference. They will see why honor—”
“Non,” she interrupted sharply. “Do not tell them of your vow and do not speak of honor, yours or theirs. Do not tell them that you have sworn to protect me. That is to push them toward what we want them to do, and in their hearts they may wish to saynon. They will feel that if you are bound by honor they are bound just as tightly, for they will not wish to blacken your name.”
“They will still say ‘aye’ to taking ye into their care,” he asserted.
“No word of your vow. Do you agree to this?”
“Aye. Ye will see that I speak the truth, however. They willnae act because they wish to save my poor, wee, tattered honor, but because they honestly wish to save you.”
Gisele squeaked in surprise when he abruptly pushed her down onto their bed. “And thus ends our discussion?”
Nigel laughed as he began to remove her clothes. “Did ye have anything else to say?”
“Just one thing. If they do decide that I am more trouble than they wish to set upon their shoulders, might I have a proper meal just once before I must leave?”
She laughed along with him, then greedily returned his kiss. It was undoubtedly foolish, but she realized that she felt safe. She also felt hungry for Nigel. The journey had kept her sick for nearly every mile from France to Scotland, and the only touch Nigel had given her was the occasional comforting pat on the back, or to hold her head up while she was it. Although she was tired, she did not wish to lose another night of savoring the passion they shared.
As she matched him stroke for stroke and kiss for kiss, she silently revealed her love for him. When they were both caught up in the heady grip of desire she had neither the strength nor the will to hide how she felt. Since he was as captivated as she was, Gisele did not fear that he would guess how she felt. She was sure that such a feeling required words to confirm its existence.
Expressing her love through passion, through each caress, each kiss, also gave her the strength to hide it the rest of the time. It was as if the feeling grew so large at times it threatened to flow out of her, and she feared she would babble it all out in a confused confession to an unwilling Nigel. The very last thing she wished to do was bare her heart to the man and have him graciously hand it back. Within the confines of their lovemaking, she could feel free to let her heart rule.
Once they had shared their release, the strength of which always astonished her, Gisele let her exhaustion take hold. She curled herself around Nigel, loving the warm feel of his body so close to hers, and closed her eyes. If passion were any indication of how a person felt, then Nigel had to love her too, but she knew that was a fool’s hope. Passion did not have to rule a man’s heart as it did a woman’s. At best, she might become the finest lover he had ever known. As sleep dragged her into its hold, she decided that that was better than nothing. At least she would linger in his mind as a sweet memory. It would be better to be loved in return, but she could find some solace in knowing she would not be forgotten.
Nigel stared down at the small woman sleeping so soundly in his arms. Soon they would be at the gates of Donncoill, and Gisele would be face-to-face with Maldie. It was time he told Gisele about the woman, but he was too much of a coward. It was an awkward tale to tell, and he was embarrassed by it all. He still felt as if he had betrayed his brother Balfour in some way, even though he had never touched Maldie. It did not ease his embarrassment at all knowing that everyone who mattered to him at Donncoill was fully aware of why he had left, including Maldie.
For a little while he had deceived himself by thinking that there was not really that much similarity between the two women. Almost the moment he had stepped upon the shores of Scotland, he had felt that comfortable lie fall to pieces. Gisele and Maldie were both small women, both had black hair and green eyes, and they shared a strikingly similar spirit. Even if he were able to cling to the lie, he would be the only one who would believe it.
Somehow, he was going to have to tell Gisele something between now and the moment they reached the gates of Donncoill or he could find the warm lover he held so close turning very cold. That was a loss he did not want to face. Sadly, telling her could easily bring the same results.
Nigel silently cursed and accepted the fact that he would probably get very little sleep until the dreaded confrontation was over. He had the sick feeling that he was also going to let his cowardice rule and hope for the best. After all, telling her now would bring the same consequences as letting her see for herself. Why deprive himself of a few more nights in her arms?
“What is this?” Gisele asked as she sat down and lightly brushed her hand over the soft mound of delicate white flowers.
“Heather,” Nigel answered as he sat down next to her.
“Ah, the thing you and Duncan were so eager to smell.”
He smiled and reverently touched the plant. “Aye, ’tis what we said. I think we mean more than that, however. I think we mean the whole land, the smell of Scotland herself. The heather, beautiful though it is when it covers the hills with color, is but a wee part of it all.”
She kissed his cheek when he grimaced. “I understand. There is a wildness in the air, a challenge to the people who walk these hills.”
Nigel gently pushed her down onto the soft moss-covered ground, amazed and delighted that she understood, that she shared the feeling. They were only a few hours ride from Donncoill, but he had reined in his eagerness to finish the journey and stopped for a rest. Knowing that she could soon be compelled to turn away from him, he ruefully admitted that he had stopped in the hope of making love to her one more time. Her words revealed that she already felt some kinship to the land and that, he knew, was going to make losing her all the harder to bear.
There was one thing he knew he could do, one thing that might stop her from thinking the worst of him. He could tell Gisele that he loved her, could offer marriage. She would still be hurt when she saw Maldie, and would undoubtedly question the veracity of his vow, but those three little words could mean that she would give him a chance to explain. Nigel knew he could not do it, however. He was not sure, his confusion deep and unrelenting. No woman had affected him the way Gisele had, none had stirred his passion as fiercely as she could with just one little smile, and none had kept his mind as interested in her as his body for so long. None except Maldie. He did not want to promise Gisele love and marriage, faithfulness and devotion, then take one look at Maldie and know it was all a lie. If nothing else, he could not hurt Gisele by offering her a heart that was still tightly bound to another woman.
Gisele reached up and smoothed away the frown between his eyes. “For a man who is but a few miles from the beloved home he has not seen in seven long years, you are not looking very happy.”
“I think I grow uncertain of my welcome,” he replied.
“Because of why you left?” She inwardly tensed, wondering if he would tell her the whole truth about what had driven him to spend so many years away from a land he so clearly loved.
“Aye, that is some of it. There is also the fact that after so long, things will have changed, so will have some of the people. I believe I have changed a little, as weel.”
