“Weel, I felt a need to bathe and then met with your cousin again.”
“You did not fight, did you?”
“Nay, lass, although I think the lad wished to strike at me a time or two.”
“You taunted him.”
“A wee bit. He confesses that it is deserved. They should have been there at your side from the start, lass.”
She sighed. “I know, and their desertion cut deeply, but I can also understand why they were not. The DeVeaux are nearly as powerful as the king, at least in this province. They are feared by everyone. To stand with me was to stand against them, and few have the stomach or the strength to do that. And one must not forget that the DeVeaux are very close to the king, so if one stands against them one also runs the chance of being seen as standing against the king, too. That is a dangerous place to be.”
Nigel nodded, set the tray of food aside, and began to take off his boots. He had not discussed the sleeping arrangements with Gisele, and watched her closely as he prepared for bed. When she did not immediately question him, just closed her eyes, he decided he was safe. In deference to her sense of modesty, he kept his braies on. When he slid into bed beside her he felt her tense slightly, and inwardly grimaced. He was not going to win on every count.
“I willnae hurt ye, lass,” he whispered, fighting the urge to pull her into his arms.
“I know. It is not you who make me stiffen with fear. There has only been one other man who has shared my bed, and he was not welcome. It has been a long time since he touched me, but I begin to think the fear he bred in me will live longer than I do.”
“Nay. ’Tis just that ye havenae done anything to banish it yet.”
She looked at him and frowned. He was right, but she could not help but wonder why he should concern himself so much with her fears, their cause, or their strength. Gisele hoped he was not going to try to seduce her by saying he could cure her. Instinct told her that he just might be able to, but she realized she wanted him to desire her for herself, not because it would stroke his vanity to repair what another man had tried so hard to destroy.
“Lass, ye really must cease to think ill of me so quickly,” he murmured. “Ye are sorely bruising my vanity.”
Although she smiled at his nonsense, it made her a little uncomfortable that he could so easily guess her thoughts. “I was just hoping that you were not going to claim you could cure me.”
“Ah, it would disappoint you if I tried to seduce ye with that tale, would it?”
“I think it might. You would show yourself to be not as clever as I think you are.”
Nigel grinned. “Oh, aye, I am clever. Have I nay got ye alone in a room and in a soft bed?”
“And now you try to make me suspicious. It may be odd, but I assumed from the start that you meant to share this bed. It cost you dearly, of that I am sure, and I felt it only fair and reasonable that you would wish to share in its comfort. And that recalls me to a matter I wish to discuss with you.”
“Ye are about to say something that will annoy me.”
“You are a big, strong knight. I suspect you can bear that burden.” She met his narrow-eyed glance with a brief, too sweet smile. “You are paying for my rescue out of your own purse, are you not?”
“I am not a poor mon,” he said.
“It would matter naught to me if you were. I simply do not think it right that you risk your life and empty your purse. I am not poor, either. Sadly, I cannot get my hands on any of my fortune. I will pay you back, however, as soon as I can.”
“That is not necessary.”
“It is,” she said firmly. “Mayhap it is just pride. In truth, I believe that is exactly what it is. It pains me a little that I am unable to settle this matter by myself, that I must depend upon the strength of others to keep myself alive.”
He tentatively reached out and smoothed his hand over her shoulder. “Ye are just a wee lass. There is only so much ye can do on your own. Ye have done weel so far. There is no shame in recognizing that the time has come to get some help.”
She nodded. “I understand that, but pride can sometimes refuse to heed reason. Allow me this weak salve. I will pay you back all you have needed to spend to get me to Scotland.”
“As ye wish.”
Nigel decided that now was not the time to argue about that. He also understood how she felt. It had to be difficult to be so completely at the mercy of someone else’s good favor, especially when one had survived so long on one’s own. It carried the same bitter taste as defeat.
“Why do I have the feeling that you have not really agreed?” Gisele murmured as she closed her eyes.
“Ye worry on things too much, sweeting.” He lightly brushed a few stray curls from her forehead. “Rest. That is what ye need. Savor this moment of peace and comfort, and cease looking for troubles and conflicts.”
“I do not need to look very hard, or too far.”
