“It was a good plan. It just went a wee bit awry.”
“Oh, aye, just a wee bit. Dinnae divert me.” He grinned when she shot him a look of mild annoyance. “That fine feast I set before ye the day Rory attacked had a purpose.”
“Aye, seducing me. Ye accomplished that.”
“Weel, I willnae deny that I had thought to have me some of that as weel. I had planned the moment to ask ye to wed me.”
She felt sorely disappointed that that opportunity had been lost even though she knew it would not have given her the words of love she craved. “Oh, and that cursed Rory ruined it.”
“Aye, but I did speak once ye were returned to Dubhglenn.”
“True enough, but t’was in such a manner that I was left to think that t’was naught but the bairn that prompted ye.”
“Come now, I did tell ye there was more to it than that.”
“Aye, in a way, but”—she put her arms about his neck and kissed him—“but kenning that ye had planned to ask me to be your wife before either of us kenned that there was a bairn soothes the sting even more. I didnae want to become a bride because ye felt a duty to wed me or because honor demanded it. Aye, or because your seed decided to take root in me.” She smiled faintly. “I didnae want ye to do something ye didnae truly wish to do for I kenned the trouble that could bring.”
“I am not a man to do what he doesnae really wish to, m’eudail.”
“Aye, so Papa said.”
“Did he now?”
“Aye, and the way he said it eased some of my worries though ’tis a greater comfort to hear ye say it.”
“Ah, lass, I cannae deny that I sorely want the bairn, but ’tis a feeling stirred in most part because ’tis ye that helped create him. I want the bairn because he is part of ye.
“Lass, I hold a score and eight years. For more than half of those I have kenned the pleasures of the flesh. Aye, I have had more women than I should have. ’Tisnae a boast for I ken that ’tis naught to be verra proud of, but ’tis a fact. Not once, with any of them, did I think of children. Aye, my only thought was, ‘’Ware, lad, ye dinnae wish your seed to root here.’ I have been as careful as a man can be and near as any man can be sure, I ken that I have no bastards.
“Now, with ye, I never once gave a thought to being wary, not since the first moment we made love. I didnae see the need of it, didnae want to take care. It didnae worry me when I kenned there was a chance ye could get with child. In truth, the few times I gave it any thought I felt naught but pleasure. T’was a pleasing thought.
“Aye, I want this bairn, but it didnae force me to wed ye. Nay, it but gave me the means to set ye before a priest even if ye didnae feel like being set there. If anyone was forced to wed, t’was ye, Aimil, never me. Ye were the one who was given no choice nor chance.”
She was touched by his words. It was not what she ached to hear, but it did ease some of the sting she had felt over the way the marriage had been arranged. So too did it ease some of her fears. Since he had really wanted to wed her, there was a very good chance that he was nearly as willing and as ready as she was to make the marriage a good one, firm and happy.
“Ye cannae truly say I was forced. Aye, ye and my father decided it, but ye didnae hear me put up too much of a wail.”
“Nay, true enough. Why didnae ye, Aimil?”
The very last thing she wanted to tell him was exactly why she had gone along with his and her father’s dictates with little protest. “’Cause I didnae really have any complaint. I have been happy here. Ye ken it. I was never too happy with the idea of leaving and not just because Rory awaited me for I didnae ken what Rory was. I wanted to stay. Now I can.”
He felt somewhat disappointed yet could not really say why. Love was what he sought from her yet he knew that it was unfair to demand it of her when he was not willing to give it, at least not yet. He told himself he was being contrary as he held her close. She had admitted to being happy at Dubhglenn and happy to stay. That should be enough. It was something that even being deeply in love did not necessarily promise.
His hand returned to rest upon her slightly-swollen stomach. It was still a little difficult to believe that he would soon be a father. He also found the waiting trying. He wanted to know if he would have a son or a daughter. He wanted to know if the child would be fair like Aimil or dark as he was. He wanted to hold his child, a feeling that intensified a great deal when he felt the flutter of movement within.
“T’will be verra difficult to wait.”
“Aye, though”—she smiled a little—“I think t’will be a little harder for me than for any others for I shall have to tote the wee one around as I wait. Aye, and the wee one will make me a lot less wee.”
“Ye will grow round and beautiful.” He smiled at her disgusted look.
“A lady who is round isnae beautiful. Nay, nor when she waddles like some fat duck.”
“Ah, ye plan to waddle, do ye?”
“Nay, I dinnae plan to but I ken that I will. My sisters did and so has any woman far gone with child that I have ever seen. Aye, I will waddle and if ye laugh, I will strike you.”
“I shall keep that warning in mind.”
