Cursing softly but viciously, Robert stood up so abruptly he sent the stool skittering across the dirt floor. “If you say it would be best to stay away from her now, I shall add to your wounds. By God’s sweet grace, half your fevered ramblings were cries for Gytha. She is such a part of you, you could not even shed her in your pain. Do you truly believe you could turn away from her, set her from your life now when you have all you think she wants?”
“I may now have what her good birth demands, but look at me. My hand is mutilated and I shall limp. The one thing I had to offer of myself was a strong, whole body. No longer. The rest of me is now as lacking in beauty as my face.”
Leaning over Thayer, Roger snapped, “At times, my friend, you are the greatest of fools. You belabor your lack of fine looks but do not look to see how others may view you. You seem to think Gytha is troubled by your lack of beauty, but have you ever looked closely enough at her to judge the truth of that belief? I think, if you did, you would see how wrong you are.”
“Do you try to tell me a beauty like Gytha could love a huge, red, and well-scarred man?”
Straightening up, Roger shrugged. “I do not know how deep her feelings run. What I am sure of is that she does not see you as you persist in thinking she does. Have you ever seen a look of disappointment or dislike in her gaze when she looks at you? I wager not, not even when she was first presented with you as her husband. Has she ever shied from letting all know you are her wedded man? Nay. The woman has stood firm at your side with no show of reluctance.”
“Aye, she has,” Thayer murmured, realizing all Roger said was true and feeling a strong lifting of his spirits. “You are right. I never looked closely at how she was looking at me. Well do I know the look you mean, for I have seen it often enough, especially in the eyes of women.”
“But never in your wife’s.”
“Nay, never in Gytha’s.” He started to smile, but a glance at his marred hand made him frown. “Of course, that was before I suffered these wounds. This might be more than she can endure.”
“You had some startling scars before this. I would be most surprised if she was repulsed.”
Thayer considered that for a moment, then half-smiled. Roger was right again. It was an exhilarating revelation. He had been unfair to Gytha, insulted her in a way. Search his mind as he would, he could find no time when she had shown any disappointment or dislike of his appearance. It simply did not matter to her. Then he recalled the time she had flattered him for his eyes and his form and had no doubts left that Roger spoke the full truth.
“Nay, she will not be repulsed.” He then thought of why he was there and grimaced. “Howbeit, when she discovers why I came here, what I did this for, she will probably be furious with me.”
“Ah, well, for once, my friend, I believe you judge your fair wife exactly right.”
Chapter Eighteen
“They are back! The men have returned!”
Gytha barely spared a glance for Edna when the young maid burst into her room shouting the news. It was something she already knew. She had seen the approach of Thayer and his men from the walls of Riverfall. It did not surprise her that Thayer had sent no one ahead to announce his arrival. He probably thought the brief message he had sent nearly a month ago enough, even though it left the date of his return extremely vague.
She suspected guilt played some part in his manner of return. He might think she already knew of the real reasons he had gone to fight the Scots. If not, he would be contemplating the need to tell her or the possibility that she would guess it. Either situation could be eased for him, if only slightly, by the tactic of surprise. She had every intention of taking that tactic from him and using it against him.
Edna edged closer to where Gytha sat calmly brushing her hair. “M’lady, I said your husband has returned.”
“I heard you.”
“Are you not going to greet him?”
“Oh, aye, soon. Have baths readied for the men. You may place Thayer’s in with Roger’s, in Roger’s chambers. Nay, wait. Margaret will be there. Set Thayer’s bath here. I will move to the ladies’ bower to ready myself for the welcome feast.”
“But they will soon be riding into the bailey….”
“Aye, so you had best hurry. You need to help with preparing Thayer’s bath and getting my things to the ladies’ bower.”
Ignoring Edna’s muttering, Gytha collected what she would need to prepare herself for the feast the servants were rushing to prepare. Not greeting Thayer in the bailey or in their chambers would tell him more clearly than words that she was furious with him. He could easily guess why, even if Margaret did not tell him. The surprise would be in when she would confront him and how. She hoped he did a lot of squirming.
Thayer sighed heavily as he watched Margaret and Roger embrace while he stood with his arms empty, Gytha nowhere in sight. A sudden thrill of alarm went through him. While it could be that she was angry, it could also be that she was not at Riverfall at all. The moment Roger eased his hold on Margaret, Thayer grasped the time to speak to her.
“Where is Gytha?” He did not feel very comforted by the nervous, reluctant look on Margaret’s face.
“Inside,” Margaret answered in a weak voice as she got a good look at Thayer and the result of his now healed wounds.
“She is still here?” Margaret nodded. “She is not ill?” Margaret shook her head. “Nor is my son?” She shook her head again. “So that leaves angry. Little else could say it clearer. She must have found out the truth,” he muttered and saw Margaret blush, confirming that guess. “Do not look so guilty. I did mean to tell her the truth.”
“Oh. Well, that should soothe her.”
The lack of conviction in Margaret’s voice nearly made him laugh. He slung his arm about Bek’s shoulders and headed for his chambers. It did not surprise him to find Gytha gone from there as well, although a hot bath awaited him. She was choosing her time. He could not help but worry about just how angry she was.
As a silent Bek helped him prepare for his bath, Thayer briefly considered exerting his authority as her husband and ordering Gytha to face him—now. He quickly discarded that idea. Gytha did not get angry that often, but although he was not yet sure how to approach her when she was, he knew that ordering her about was not the way.
