“She at least got to speak to him before he passed,” said Abbie, who then looked at Matthew. “Do you think you can get ahold of his information on his family? He was quite desperate for her to get in touch with them.”
“If it is there, I will find it. Now, where is her bed?”
Abbie led him up the stairs. When he set Julia down, she took off the woman’s shoes and tucked her in. It was her hope that Julia would sleep for a long time. It was what she needed and it could be enough to take away some of the shock. She doubted it could ease her pain. That would take a very long time.
Matthew took her by the hand and tugged her out of the room. He had the feeling she would be stuck in there a lot over the next few days. Julia did not strike him as a strong woman, and Abigail’s words had confirmed that. The woman would carry her grief deeply and for a very long time, requiring a lot of sympathy and care. He would make sure he came by and dragged Abigail away from time to time.
“He will be buried as soon as can be. Do you think she will want to know?”
“Maybe. Just let me know and I will decide then. I have no idea how soon she will be able to handle anything. It is a decision I can only make at the last moment.”
“All right.” He brushed a kiss over her mouth. “Don’t forget to get some rest.”
“I won’t.”
She watched him go down the stairs, sighed, and then went into the room she shared with Julia. The woman was still sound asleep but she had turned onto her side so there was a chance she had already slipped into a natural sleep. Abbie threw herself down on her bed and then realized she still had her coat on. Forcing herself back up, she took it off, hung it up, and then changed into her nightgown. Once set, she checked again on Julia before climbing under the blankets and closing her eyes.
For a few moments, she gave in to the sadness she felt for two young people who had lost their chance at a full and possibly happy future. All because the two sides of the country could not agree. They were slaughtering their young with this war, she thought, and used a handkerchief to dab away the tears on her cheeks. Women were losing their beaus and husbands, the ones they had and the ones they might have had. Mothers were weeping over their sons and so many children had no fathers now. She closed her eyes, forcing herself to stop thinking of what was lost today, and trying to go to sleep. Just as she felt it slipping over her, pulling her mind and body down, she heard Julia.
Turning over, Abbie looked at Julia who was thrashing around in her bed. She got up wondering what could be done to soothe her when Julia sat up and screamed. Even as she hurried to the bed to grab the woman, she heard all the other women racing up the stairs to come to stand in the doorway.
“No, no, no, no!” Julia cried, and Abbie took her into her arms. “My beautiful Robbie. No, no, no, no. I want him back, Abbie. I want him back.”
Stroking her hair, Abbie said, “I know you do, Julia. I am so very sorry.”
“It is not fair,” she whined then sobbed. “We would have been such a good family.”
Abbie glanced at the women in the doorway and found no help because they were all crying silently and searching for their handkerchiefs. “I know and, yes, you’re right. It is not fair but I fear, quite often, life is not fair. Robert should not be dead. Boyd should not be maimed in one arm. That man in the bed next to him should not have to be facing life with his legs gone at the knee. Children should not have to stand at their father’s grave and wives should not have to bury their husbands. Parents should not have to weep over the grave of a son who never had the chance to give them grandchildren. All I can say is I am sorry. More sorry than I can ever say. It is the horrible cost of war, Julia.”
“I know that.” She sniffed and then continued crying. “I know it in my head. But my heart, Abbie! My heart keeps crying that it is not fair,” she said, her words ending in a wail. “I would have made him so happy.”
“Yes, you would have. Even the doctor thought so.”
Julia pushed Abbie away and lay back down. She then noticed all the women standing in the doorway. “Oh. Hello. Sorry I am such a mess.” She used the sheet to wipe at her eyes and all the ladies crowded around the bed, but it did little good because the tears kept flowing.
“No, dearie,” said Maude as she patted Julia’s arm. “Don’t apologize. We just want you to know you are not alone.”
“Thank you.”
As the women comforted and soothed, a few even offering the truth of their husband’s death, Julia calmed a little but Abbie was not fooled. She knew she was in for a few exhausting days. Julia saw her loss as unfair and Abbie was sure that was going to cause her to cling to her upset for quite a while. She did not expect the girl to get over her loss quickly under any circumstances—she certainly had not—but she did hope Julia did not hang on to this kind of grieving for too long. It could damage the child or worse, cause it to come before its time.
By the time the women left, Julia’s eyes were closing. Abbie sat beside her until she fell asleep and then crawled into her own bed. She fell asleep quickly but suddenly she was yanked awake by deep wracking sobs. She glanced at the squat clock on the bedside table and saw that she had slept barely three hours. Getting up again, she glanced at the bottle the doctor had given her. Not yet, she thought, as she sat on Julia’s bed and began to rub her friend’s back. It was going to be a very long night though. Just once, she thought, she would like to have a peaceful night’s sleep.
* * *
Abbie woke to Noah leaning over her and groaned. Then she recalled why she was so tired and looked over to find Julia fast asleep. She wished she could do the same but looked at Noah who grinned at her.
“What do you want?”
“Just wondering if you are going to sleep all morning.”
“That would be nice.” She rolled over, turning her back on him, but he tapped her on the shoulder.
She rolled back to look at him. “What?”
“You told me I had to tell someone if I was going somewhere, and I am.”
“Where?”
