He kissed her quickly and nodded at Mabel before leaving. Abbie could not fully suppress a sigh. She felt an odd mix of relief and disappointment that they had been interrupted.
The moment she reached the children’s room Noah smiled at her where he was tucked neatly up in his bed. The rest of the children were asleep, or pretending to be so she spoke quietly to Noah. Not only did she not want to disturb them if they were sleeping, but did not wish to scold Noah in a way that could lead to teasing later if they were not really asleep.
“I understand your fascination with these bugs but it was wrong to go outside without letting anyone know what you were doing.” She held up her hand to stop his words when he opened his mouth. “I know you are growing but you are not grown, certainly not grown enough to go out at night all on your own and with no one knowing where you are.”
“How grown do I have to be?”
“A lot more than you are now. Something else, dear. You will have to let the bugs go in the morning.”
“Why?”
“Because they will die in that jar.”
He gave the jar a horrified glance. “Really?”
“Yes.”
“How do you know?”
She sighed. “Because the ones I caught died in the jar. They are not made to be held in ajar to light up a room.”
“You used to catch lightning bugs?”
“I did. My da would go with me.”
“Okay. I will set them free in the morning. ’Night, Abbie.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“What else will you not do?”
“Go out without letting anyone know I am and where I am going.”
“Very good.” She kissed his cheek and made her way to her own room.
“Did you find him?” asked Julia as Abbie began to undress.
Startled, Abbie swung around to stare at the woman. “You startled me. I thought you were asleep.”
“I was. Almost. It is difficult to get comfortable at the moment. So, find him?”
“Yes. He was out back catching lightning bugs.”
“Oh, I did that a few times when I was very young.”
“So did I, but I believe he is now clear on the fact that he needs to tell someone what he is doing so they don’t panic when they can’t find him. And that it would be a good idea not to go out alone.”
“Oh, good.” Julia closed her eyes. “People were afraid and worried that the major would get angry since he gave the children into our care.”
Climbing into bed, Abbie fought to relax. She was growing too close to young Noah. That could cause him pain when she had to leave. She had little doubt it would cause her some. Yet she doubted she would be able to draw back now. She smiled faintly when she thought how Noah would not allow it.
At some point soon, she would have to decide what she should do about the boy. She was not wed so could not really raise him as her child even if she found a home to take him to. It was sad, but she had to face facts. A young unmarried woman would have a difficult time raising a child, not to mention how suspicious it would make many about whether he was actually adopted, or whether it was just her trying to hide her own misdeeds by pretending he was.
Deciding such thoughts would make sleep difficult she turned her mind to Matthew. There were problems there too, but he was a bit more pleasant to think about. Abbie knew where they had been headed when Mabel had interrupted them, and she now feared she would have followed him there willingly. It was something she had to think about. Matthew had not even made any mention about how he felt about her, she thought crossly.
Flipping onto her back she stared up at the ceiling and sighed. Thinking about Matthew was not much better than worrying about Noah. It was going to be a very long night. She was getting very tired of those. She badly wanted to go back to a time when worries and fears did not disturb her rest.
