“It was verra informative,” he murmured.
“Perhaps. I apologize again, for I could see that you were uncomfortable.”
“Ah, weel, it wasnae the squabble between ye and your sister that caused that. Seeing her ride up reminded me of a time back in Edinburgh.”
“If Alice reminded you of something, it was probably not good.”
Ballard briefly smiled at her tartness. “Nay, it wasnae. She reminded me of all the ladies I used to watch in Edinburgh. I used to stand for hours on the busiest streets in the city just to watch the people, specifically the wealthy people, and the ladies never failed to hold my attention.”
“They can be quite colorful when all decked out in their finery,” Clover agreed.
“Aye, that they can be. My family was tossed off our land in the Highlands so that the laird could raise sheep. ‘Twas a common practice at that time. So we went to Edinburgh. In that city poverty was not simply a matter of lack of ready coin.”
“What do you mean?”
“In the city poverty was a grinding way of life. Surrounded by filth and violence, we had to fight forevery crumb of bread, for every one of the too-few jobs. Even as a wee lad I kenned that only a few were able to escape such a life and gain a better one.”
“Youdid,” she whispered, touched by the plight of that small boy.
“Aye, I was one of the fortunate ones. As a lad in the city, I began to watch those rich folk, envying their fine clothes and cleanliness. The women always looked so far above the squalor all around them, so beautifully untouched and so temptingly close. I had some verra wild, childish fancies about their origins and true natures.”
“They did not live up to those fancies, did they?”
“Nay. Once, a carriage stopped near me. I was struck dumb, as if caught by a spell, when a lady stepped out, her silk skirts rustling and the air filled with her perfume. I reached out to her but barely brushed the soft silk of her gown before her escort noticed me. That man struck me so hard that I fell into the street, dazed. I suffered a great many kicks and blows as I scrambled out of the way of the vehicles, horses, and people. It was a rough lesson, but I am a fast learner. There are lines ye dinnae cross. Aye, even in this new land. Unlike in England, across the big pond in America ye can move up with the right amount of coin in your pocket. But until ye have it, ye had best not even try.”
His tale made Clover uneasy, for she was of the class that had treated him so poorly. She wondered if he was preparing to tell her a match between them was impossible.
“And now that you have the coin, you mean to try?” she asked.
“I do, and ye will help me. Now, just how many of ye is Alice turning her back on?”
“Myself, my twin brothers Clayton and Damien—who are seven, almost eight—and my mother Agnes.”
“I see. Sit back down here, lassie, and let me hear your plans. I have answered your questions and heard your explanations,” he continued as they got comfortable on the steps. “I think I can see what your plan is, but it might be best if ye put it to me in your own words.”
Clover took a deep breath to restore her calm, but it was only partly successful. “I thought that if you are very eager for a wife, you will be willing to take one even if she has no dowry and brings three dependents with her. I can offer you all that you sought in Sarah Marsten except for her unquestionable beauty.”
“Ye are nae ugly, wee Clover,” he drawled, and smiled when she blushed.
“Thank you kindly, Mr. MacGregor, but I know full well I am not Sarah Marsten’s equal. I do, however, have the same level of learning that she does, perhaps even a bit more. I have had the same kind of upbringing.” She frowned slightly. “It may be easier for me to defend my qualifications if you tell me exactly what you are seeking in a wife.”
Ballard leaned a little closer, watching her intently as he answered, “I dinnae want a wife who sees me as no more than a means to a roof over her pretty head and food on the table.”
“I understand. I know it sounds as if that is all I seek, but although those needs have prompted me to act in this rash manner, ‘tis not the whole of it. I believe in marriage, Mr. MacGregor. I would not takesuch vows lightly. I intend to be as good a wife as I can and make as good a marriage as possible.”
“And bairns—babies,” he murmured, his gaze settling on her mouth.
“Yes.” She swallowed hard. “Babies are a part of marriage, if God wills it so.”
He traced the shape of her mouth with his finger and spoke in a soft but firm voice. “I want a woman in my bed, in my kitchen, and at my side in the fields if need be.” Ballard watched how her quickening breath made her breasts move. “I dinnae want to be worrying that she will be squawking or sulking because I cannae buy her a new silk dress. I want bairns.”
“I am willing to do all of that, Mr. MacGregor.” Clover began to find his nearness unsettling, but was unable to pull away.
“Just how engaged were ye to this Thomas fellow?”
“What do you mean? Thomas and I were to be married. That is whatengagedmeans.”
“Ye said that Thomas stepped out with ye for a year and that ye were engaged to the mon for three months. Ye willnae be presenting me with another dependent in but a few months, will ye?” When she tried to leap to her feet in red-faced outrage, he swiftly grabbed her by the arms and held her still. “Steady on, lass. A lot of engaged couples anticipate their wedding night.”
