“I had noticed that, ma’am. It wasnae hard to see.”
Agnes bit her lip and pressed on. “Are you certain you cannot give her more time?”
“Oh, aye, verra certain, and it isnae just because I am feeling a need to have me a woman. I think it is best if Clover and I start as we mean to go on. If we wait, that could bring on its own problems. I mean, who will decide when she is ready? There is also thefact that when I am busy at my work, and she at hers, this time at night, this sharing of a bed, will be about the only time we will have together in private.”
“Of course. And if you have little private time, then you cannot grow to really know each other. I do understand. Just please remember that she has not even been properly kissed. Well, leastwise not until you arrived.”
“Dinnae ye fret, ma’am. If nothing else, I am bound to be careful tonight for it could determine how all the other nights of my married life are spent.”
Agnes nodded, then murmured, “I shall see you in the morning then. Good night, Ballard.”
“Good night, ma’am.”
Clover heard the steady tread of Ballard’s booted feet and scrambled into the big four-poster bed. She tried very hard not to look as nervous and afraid as she was beginning to feel. Unfortunately, the only thought pounding in her head was that an awful lot of man was about to climb into her bed.
When Ballard stepped into the room, she could not manage even a tiny welcoming smile.
Ballard snuffed out all the candles in the room except the one on a table by the bed. Clover struggled to calm herself, but it was futile. He began to undress, being very careful to put his courting clothes away properly. Each piece of clothing he removed made her heart pound harder. He hesitated a moment before shedding his drawers, then shrugged. For one brief moment Clover had the urge to bolt as he took off his drawers, strode to the bed, and climbed in beside her.
She had never seen a naked man. Ballard was so tall, lean, and taut with muscles. He was dark all over, with a neat vee of black curls on his broad chest which tapered into a thin line, blossomed around his loins, and lightly coated his long, well-formed legs. As he turned on his side next to her and propped himself up on one elbow, Clover tried not to cringe away from him.
He gently caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers, feeling her tremble, and asked in a soft voice, “Are ye afraid of me, wee Clover? Ye look a wee bit like a startled rabbit.”
“No,” she answered, but when he brushed soft kisses over her face, she whispered, “Yes.”
“Dinnae be, lass. I willnae hurt ye.”
He slowly stroked his hand down her side from her shoulder to her thigh, and she felt her fears begin to recede. “I am not afraid of—well—that,” she admitted with wine-induced honesty.
“Then what are ye afraid of, sweeting?”
“Of doing something I have never done before. I am afraid to be looked upon as no man has ever looked upon me, and touched as I have never been touched before. Even though I know it will hurt only the first time, I am a little afraid of being hurt, for no one likes to be, do they, and I cannot be certain that it will only be a little hurt. Lord, you are so big, and that frightens me some, for I feel so very small just now, and ‘tis not a particularly pleasant feeling. And—” Her nervous rambling ceased the moment she felt him begin to undo her nightgown.
“And what, little one?” He gently removed her nightgown and tossed it aside.
“And I am afraid that I will not like it,” she whispered in a tremulous voice. “Or that you will not.”
“Ye just give me a smattering of the warmth I have felt in ye each time we kissed and I am going to like it just fine.” He pulled her faintly trembling body close to his and echoed the tremor that went through her, although he suspected hers was prompted by a more confusing jumble of emotion. “I will admit that I am a wee bit afraid myself.”
It was almost impossible for Clover to talk, for she was caught up in a tangled morass of strong feeling. As he held her so close, she became more and more aware of the size and strength of him. She was also a little surprised at how good it felt to be skin to skin against him. The nudity required to consummate their marriage had been one of the things that had worried her. She was amazed that something that should shock her felt so enticing instead.
“What couldyoupossibly be afraid of?” she finally managed to ask.
“That ye willnae like it. I have never bedded down with an innocent before. The sheltered daughters of the wealthy were ne’er within my reach.”
“I believe that when it comes to lovemaking, the sheltered daughters of the wealthy are no different than any other women.”
“True enough, lass, but ‘tis verra important that I do this well now. A lass’s first time can determine how she will feel about the business every time after that. I dinnae want to hurt ye, but for His own reasons, God decided that to make ye my wife I shall have to inflict some pain. I am a wee bit afeared that I willnae be able to lessen the hurt. Aye, and I also can feel how small ye are and worry about my size. But I willnever use my size and strength against ye, Clover. I swear to that.”
All the time he spoke, he stroked her slim body with his hands. Clover felt herself relaxing, her thoughts growing decidedly foggy. He touched every part of her face with feathery kisses, teased her ears with his warm breath and caressed her neck with his lips and tongue. She felt an unknown craving growing within her and realized with a start that it was a craving for a little less gentleness, a little less circumspection. When he touched his mouth to hers again, she twined her arms around his neck and held his lips against hers. With a soft growl, Ballard was quick to grant her silent request.
Clover quickly became drugged by his kisses, hardly aware of how much bolder his caresses grew. Then, suddenly, he cupped her breast with his big, lightly callused hand. She gave a start as the heat that raced through her was heightened by a shaft of fire as he began to toy with her aching nipple. With a soft cry, she arched into the curve of his hand. Just as she decided that nothing had ever felt so good, he flicked his tongue over the taut tip of her breast and produced an even more exquisite sensation.
She clung to him, tentatively stroking his broad, strong back with her hands. Beneath her hands she felt a fine tremor rippling through Ballard. She realized that he was controlling his own passion even as he tried to fire hers past control. He clearly felt far more than he was revealing to her. That knowledge added to the desire already swamping her. Clover became a little bolder with her caresses.
A shock went through her and she froze for a minute when Ballard slid his hand upward along herinner thigh. She could not believe that he would touch her so intimately. Her shock eased as she realized that she did not find it distasteful. In fact, she began to arch to his touch, desiring the intense feelings that were flooding her body. For a moment she wondered about the rightness of accepting his touch so wantonly. Then she heard him release a soft groan. He kissed her with an almost fierce hunger, and she knew she was doing exactly what he wanted.
Suddenly, Ballard lost his tightly held control. His kisses and caresses became feverish. He stroked her until she felt the same. A tiny flicker of sanity edged into her mind when she felt him probe for entry into her body. Something inside her tensed, but not from fear. Clover knew she was taut with anticipation. She then realized that Ballard was hesitant. Gripping his broad shoulders, she looked up at him. There was such heat in his eyes, she could feel it burn through her.
