For the first time he caught a hint of shame in her eyes. “Shall we go for a ride?”
“A ride?” she said as she got out of the bed and adjusted her clothes then began to put on her shoes. “Is it not dark?”
“Not very. Still but dusk out. There are other things we can do.”
Emily let him take her by the arm and lead her out of the room. It felt odd. They had just made love and now acted as if all was normal. Nothing felt normal for her. It had been something she suspected she would think of for a very long time and probably too often. But then, she thought, with a quick sideways glance at Iain, perhaps for a man it was not such a meaningful experience.
And it had been so quick, she thought. For something that could change so much between a man and a woman she would have thought it would last longer. He had not even gotten completely undressed. For some strange reason she found that the most upsetting of all. She tried to comfort herself with the reminder that they could not have any idea of how long they would be alone.
Iain decided it was too close to dusk to ride anywhere. Going out would be fine but coming back could get dangerous. So he just walked her around the compound and pointed out all the things he thought he would do. Since he seemed to be looking at her for some response, she agreed with each idea and added a few opinions.
They were behind the stables looking over the area he thought might be good for some kind of chicken coop when he backed her up against the outside wall of the barn. Emily looked at him in question but he just kissed her. She held on to him as the kiss grew hungry and stirred her need for him again. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against her as he caught his breath and then grinned at her.
“Maybe we could sneak back upstairs,” he said.
“You no longer fear someone is due home?”
At that moment they both heard the approach of the buggy. Iain swore and Emily felt a little calmer about what they had done. A few of the older women had said that once a man got what he wanted out of a woman he did not return. It was obvious Iain wanted to return so perhaps the things she fretted about were all in her imagination.
Mrs. O’Neal already had the buggy in the stable when they came around the corner and Iain hurried in to lend her a hand. She was concerned that she was too late to make any supper and Emily was pleased to tell her about the stew. As Neddy ran up to Emily to tell her everything he had done and seen, Mrs. O’Neal rushed off to the kitchen to prepare anything that might be needed to feed the other brothers when they arrived.
It was late when Emily finally made her way up to her bed. She was surprised to find Iain waiting outside her door. “Is something wrong with Neddy?”
“Nay.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her then held her close and rested his chin on the top of her head. “I just wished to see ye before I had to crawl off to bed. Alone.”
Emily blushed, her doubts and fears receding a bit more. “Oh. Well, I must do the same.”
“And strangely enough, that gives me great comfort.” He kissed her again and walked to his room.
Emily shook her head and went into her room. She undressed behind the screen, checked on Neddy, and then crawled into bed. It felt oddly empty to her, which she decided was silly. It was not as if she had spent many nights with Iain, had barely passed part of a long afternoon, yet some part of her felt he should be there with her.
Stupid, she told herself, and closed her eyes. She had given the man her virginity and that had not prompted him to hold her in his bed. Nor had it brought her any sweet words or vows of love. He was good with flattery but not anything more serious.
Emily feared she had been a complete fool. She had given herself too quickly, too easily. Although she did wonder how a woman could resist a man when his kisses made her body burn. Yet she could hear all the warnings whispered by the older women, warnings of how a man expected innocence in his wife and the ever-present chance of conceiving a child from a man her family would never accept. It would not be just her family that would scorn any child she bore, but all of society.
And none of those lecturing people had ever envisioned a situation like the one she found herself in. She had spent more time with Iain than many of her class spent with the man they were to marry and all of it unchaperoned. Even if she and Iain had not made love everyone would believe they had. In fact, she began to understand the insistence upon chaperons. If there was any true feeling between two people, the temptation to get as close as possible could be overwhelming. Her own mother was a perfect example of such a situation.
The question she needed to answer, for her own peace of mind, was if she loved Iain. Love might not be reason enough to please those who gossiped and condemned but it would ease her sense of guilt tinged with a hint of shame. Emily closed her eyes and decided to stop fretting over it all. She had wanted him and the why of that would come to her eventually.
She was sure she had not let herself be seduced because he had saved her and Neddy. Nor because he was such a handsome, strong man. She had seen such men before and had had no inclination to bed them. There was so much more to what she felt for Iain, a more that made her burn and ache with need. She wanted to slip over to his room and crawl into his bed, wanted to sleep with his arms around her.
“Oh, damn,” Emily muttered as she opened her eyes and stared at the wall. She was in love with him.
Chapter Eleven
Iain stretched and breathed deep. It had been a week since he had been able to make love to Emily and he began to think it could be months before he got another chance. The next chance he got to make love to her he wanted to take his time, to show her all the pleasure they could share. He blamed his long spell without a woman for his speed the last time. The fact that she had been ready and found her own pleasure had been more luck than skill and that embarrassed him.
Taking another deep breath, he could now smell fall’s approach in the air. There were apples to pick and he tried to sort through his plans to find the best time for that harvest. It could be a good idea to set the women and children on that detail, he decided as he started to open the gates. Iain saw few openings for time spent alone with Emily and he sighed with regret. He suddenly paused in trying to work in some time alone with her and stared out at his lands, not sure of what he was seeing.
Then the fog of a lingering sleep cleared and he cursed. A lot of men were riding hard straight for his home. It was a small army, he thought angrily. He had the feeling that bastard after Emily and Neddy had decided more force was needed. Iain hastily closed the gate and barred it then rang the alarm bell.
In minutes his brothers were racing to his side, a couple of them still buttoning up their shirts. Iain ordered them up to posts on the walls, hearing their curses as they saw what they faced. Iain hurried up to the top of the stockade and stood next to Matthew.
“The fool has hired himself a damned army. He is wasting a lot of men,” Matthew said.
“He doesnae care. He thinks the woman and child stand between him and all he covets. Greed is what drives the bastard. E’en if he thinks they mean to live here, he just cannae take the chance. They change their mind and run back to England and he loses it all.”
Matthew calmly shot a man out of his saddle. “Where is he getting them?”
