He looked at her for a moment, then nodded. It was easy to understand her feelings. The few times he had been confined to his bed by wounds or illness he had felt much the same. Too much confinement bred a dangerous recklessness that prompted one to do things too soon. She was healed enough now to start suffering from that and he intended to try and curtail it.
Islaen felt her patience grow weaker as her body grew stronger. Telling Iain that she knew what she could and could not do as well as anyone did not stop his close watch over her. She noticed that even Storm tended to mother her, and finally decided enough was enough. When, after a month, Storm still insisted on picking up the babies for her, Islaen looked at her dear friend sternly.
"Ye need not do that anymore, ye ken. I didnae break my arms during the birthing."
Startled by the tartness in Islaen's voice, Storm first gaped. Then her eyes slowly widened as she thought on what Islaen had said. Finally, she laughed, shook her head and sat down next to Islaen on the bed.
"I am sorry, Islaen. I e'er hated it when I was treated thus, yet here I do it to you."
"Nay, I am sorry.” Islaen smiled crookedly as she began to nurse Morogh. “I shouldnae snap at you. Ye but meant to help."
"I was cosseting you and well I know it. Do not apologize,” Storm said with a smile as she let a hungry but patient Padruig suck on her finger. “I am sure ye have more than enough of it. Ye held back your annoyance longer than I e'er could."
"'Tis not easy but I keep reminding myself that ye all mean weel, that ‘tis because ye care. Aye, e'en Iain, I think."
"Ye think? Surely some of your fears have been eased by the way he has acted these last months? Ye can see how he cares."
"Aye, about the mother of his bairns.” She smiled slightly when Storm grimaced. “I daren't see too much in his actions."
"Nay, I recall feeling so when I carried Tavis's first babe, well, babes. Of course when I first told him I was with child, I had caught him with his old mistress in his arms. It may have shaded my feelings some,” she drawled.
"Oh, aye, a wee bit.” Islaen laughed softly. “When I saw Iain with another in his arms, I wept."
"Ye do not carry a knife, ‘tis all. A very quiet babe is Padruig."
"Considering the blood in his veins, ‘tis a surprise, eh?"
"Quite."
"Robert is quiet. We call him the peacemaker. He is slow to anger but when he does,” she grimaced. “'Tis a sight to behold."
"From a distance."
"Quite a long distance. Iain is quiet."
"Aye, and ye are patient."
"I have no choice."
"Aye, your heart gives you none. Do not totally disregard how Iain acts now, Islaen."
"Nay, I willnae but neither will I forget that it could be the bairns. Most men treat a woman with child, in her belly or at her breast, kindly. E'en more so if ‘tis his bairn. Iain wanted children though he tried to deny himself and that desire could guide how he acts. T'would be foolish to ignore that. I would be asking for a hurt and one he didnae intend to give. I will find joy in his forgiveness."
"Of course he forgave you. T'was not a malicious deceit. I should like to call you fool and tell you to value Iain's actions now, yet I understand your reluctance. I think I would have the same. ‘Tis so hard to know for certain. Ye daren't let your heart lead you."
"It leads me enough as it is. Dinnae fash yourself o'er me, Storm. I have it better than most.” She smiled crookedly. “T'would be a wee bit easier an I didnae have ye and Tavis to show me what I dinnae have and thus make me taste envy and dissatisfaction."
"That was hard won. T'was o'er a year ere we e'er sorted ourselves out. Love shared rarely comes easy or fast."
"So long as it comes,” Islaen whispered, “be it one year or five. I but ask God for the patience to wait for it and not lose faith.” She grimaced. “That would be easier an Iain didnae pull back each time I see a sign of softening, a hope to gain his heart."
"He cannot run forever."
Islaen was not so sure of that as the days went by. She was ready to have him come back to her bed, ached for him to hold her in the night, but he made no move to do so. Although she told herself he might still be giving her time to heal, might think she needed more time than she did, her fears began to grow with each night that he left her to sleep alone. He seemed oblivious to her hints and unmoved by her subtle, shy attempts at seduction. The man seemed to have lost all interest in the passion they could share. When she kissed him good night, he would leave with every appearance of calm while she was left breathless and frustrated.
Iain closed the door between his bedchamber and Islaen's and leaned against it. He was astounded that he could continue to walk away when every inch of him ached with the need to make love to her. Seeing the want in her fine eyes only made it all the harder. She would certainly not complain if he rejoined her in her bed, if he gave into the hunger knotting his insides.
Moving to get ready for bed and yet another sleepless night, he thought about leaving. The weather had cleared enough for work to begin on Muircraig again. Perhaps if he were not so near to her it would be easier, he mused. It would at least mean that he did not have to see her willingness, would not be pulled at by the desire in her eyes.
