Her hurt feelings about Iain's reaction to her being with child were soothed somewhat by everyone else's reaction when Iain announced it. She had been right in thinking that most everyone had guessed but they were clearly as relieved as she felt to have it openly admitted to.
It was still early when she sought her bed. She knew the others would be up late, but she was not truly in the mood to stay with them. As she settled into her empty bed she mused crossly that she did not really have much to celebrate. Now was a time when she and Iain should be sharing the joy of their coming first child, planning the future. Instead, he was soaking himself in wine and ale and would soon be carried off to his own bed. She had the sad feeling that she would get little support and joy from Iain even if all his kin spoke to him. As she started to drift off to sleep, she hoped, a little vindictively, that his overindulgence this night left him properly sick on the morrow.
Iain groaned and collapsed back onto his bed after only half-sitting up. He heard a noise and opened his eyes a little bit to find a solemn Tavis bending over him. A cool cloth on his forehead eased his discomfort slightly.
"This isnae like ye, Iain,” Tavis said quietly as he urged his brother to drink a potion.
Wondering how something that tasted so vile could cure him, Iain rasped, “Getting so fou, ye mean? I have done so before."
"Rarely. I speak more of how ye are acting. Ye left Islaen alone most of the evening. Storm wished me to point out that ‘tis cruel of ye to make your fears so clear. Do ye think the lass has none? ‘Tis her first bairn. She must have a few."
As guilt swamped him, Iain said a little sulkily, “She kens my feelings in this."
"Aye, but ye need not rub her face in them. And just why are ye here? Why arenae ye in with her?"
"Because she is with bairn and I willnae risk hurting her or the bairn. Nay,” he growled when Tavis made to protest, “ye willnae change my thinking on this. She is a wee lass and having a braw rogue like me at her cannae be good."
"Just see if ye can cease looking at her and acting as if she is already in the grave,” Tavis snapped and left Iain alone.
It was an effort but Iain tried to follow Tavis's advice. He knew it was wrong to plague Islaen with his fears, so did his best to hide them, but they still ate at him. Although he was tempted to return to Muircraig, he stayed at Caraidland. He felt a need to watch her, to assure himself that, at least for now, she was healthy and safe. Iain thought he was doing very well until one evening when they sat together in the hall, he trying to read a missive from Alexander and Islaen sewing.
Islaen bit her tongue but the words huddled there could no longer be held back. “Will ye cease?"
Looking at his wife in startled curiosity, Iain asked cautiously, “Cease what?"
"Staring at my belly. God's teeth, ye are e'er gazing at it as if ye expect the bairn to burst out."
"That is nonsense,” he said, a little weakly, for he strongly suspected that he had been doing exactly what she accused him of.
"Aye, ‘tis nonsense,” she grumbled as she stood up and collected up her things. “Ye need nae keep watching for it. The bairn isnae going anywhere for a few months anyhow and when it does move it willnae come that way.” She hurried away, a little worried that she would say a lot more, too much in fact, if she lingered.
Iain sighed. He again wondered if he should return to Muircraig but could not make himself leave. Although he did make himself stop staring at her so often, he found something else to worry about. Islaen seemed to be spending a great deal of time in the stables talking with Wallace. He was not sure it was good for a woman in her condition to be so close to animals or the stables. He had heard that such things could mark the child although he could not recall exactly how or why that was supposed to happen.
"Islaen?” he ventured as he walked her to her chambers one evening. “Why are ye spending so much time in the stables?"
Pausing just inside her door she stared at him. “To study the animals."
"Oh. Aye. But why?"
"Because I have a bairn coming."
"What has that to do with the stables and the animals?"
She wondered a little crossly why no one seemed to understand what she was doing. “They ken how to birth better than we do. Good sleep, Iain.” She abruptly shut her chambers door not really concerned about whether he understood or not.
Although he did not really see what benefit she could get out of it, Iain made no further mention of her visits to the stables. If it eased her mind he felt it was invaluable. He just wished he could find something to ease his.
Finally he left for Muircraig but only stayed away a week. It was late at night when he entered his chambers and he stoutly resisted the urge to go and check on her. That would reassure him as far as his fears for her health went but he knew it would also be a temptation he might not be able to resist. He sighed as he undressed, then washed up and crawled into his too empty bed. Although he felt it best for her health that they sleep apart, he sorely missed her in his bed and ached to hold her. It would be too easy to convince himself that such care was unnecessary.
Islaen lay in her bed and listened to Iain moving around in his chambers. She was a little surprised that his stay at Muircraig had been so short. Then she started to grow angry as time passed and he did not even come to see her. Muttering soft curses, she sat up and started to get out of bed. She decided that the separation he had forced upon them had lasted long enough. Bracing herself for what would undoubtedly be a taxing argument, she started towards his chambers.
Warily Iain watched his wife approach his bed. The thin shift she wore revealed the changes in her lithe shape. Although the clear signs of pregnancy gnawed at his fears, the sight of her stirred his passion.
"Is something wrong, Islaen?” he asked, silently cursing the telltale huskiness in his voice.
"Aye, verra wrong.” She crawled into bed at his side, ignoring the way he tensed. “My bed is verra empty. My husband is missing."
"There is a good reason for that.” He clenched his hands as he resisted the urge to pull her into his arms.
